Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Razzies nominations for 2010 (Part 2)

MNS:  "Look, I actually won something...wait, it is a Golden Raspberry." 
Part two, begin…fight!
Cats & Dogs 2: Revenge of Kitty Galore:  Didn’t this movie bomb at the box office.  Did anyone ask for a Cats and Dogs 2?  I didn’t even know it was in 3D.
Clash of the Titans:  When the director of the movie says the 3D effects were shit, you know they had a problem. No one liked the 3D conversion and I mean no one.  This was just a cheap money grab to give a boost to an already troubled film. 
The Last Airbender:  MNS, it is time to wake up.  You were once a good director. 
Nutcracker 3D:  Do I want to see a movie called “Nutcracker” in 3D, ewww.  Oh, you meant the old school Nutcracker and not a Saw knockoff, okay. 
Saw 3D:  Speaking of Saw, I have seen a single one of these movies and seeing it 3D isn’t my cup of tea either.  Hopefully, we will never see another one of these movies. 
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter:  Yes, they deserve it more than anyone else on the list.  I sat through this movie hating both characters. 
Josh Brolin’s Face and Megan Fox’s Accent, Jonah Hex:  Yes, Megan Fox decided to go with the Hollywood accent for her portray of an old west hooker.  What were they thinking when they cast Fox in that role?
The Entire Cast of The Last Airbender
The Entire Cast of Sex and The City 2: Given that two of the cast members don’t get along that well, will they make a third movie? 
The Entire Cast of Twilight Saga: Eclipse:  Okay, I can see that. 
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer Vampires Suck:  Somehow, these two are still making movies.  I guess their movies really do turn a profit.  They need to be stopped. 
Michael Patrick King, Sex and The City 2
M. Night Shyamalan, The Last Airbender:  Actually, someone needs to sit down with MNS and talk to him about his story problems.  He’s kind of gone off into this George Lucas world and ignores everything spoken negatively about his films.  It’s time to bring him down to Earth.
David Slade, Twilight Saga: Eclipse:  I remember director Slade bashing the Twilight franchise in an interview before they hired him to direct, but he changed his tune after they paid him a lot of cash. 
Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables:  Expendables wasn’t that bad.  GR people just like putting Stallone on the list just for hell of it.  He’s been on the list for many years.  Yes, his dialogue is simple and bad, but his direction isn’t terrible and in some cases very exciting. 
The Last Airbender, by M. Night Shyamalan, based on TV series by Michael Dante DiMartino and Brian Konietzko:  I haven’t seen the movie, but I keep hearing about how bad the dialogue is and that movie shoves a season’s worth of stories into a two-hour movie. 
Little Fockers, by John Hamburg and Larry Stuckey, based on characters by Greg Glenna & Mary Roth Clarke:  Can we end the Fockers franchise?
Sex and the City 2, Written by Michael Patrick King, Based on the TV Series Created by Darren Star:
Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, Based on the Novel by Stephenie Meyer
Vampires Suck, Written by Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
Clash Of The Titans:  This might just win, but Sex & the City might win. 
The Last Airbender
Sex & The City 2
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Vampires Suck:  Do they ever.  The actual Twilight series is bad that it makes the films funny.  It is hard to mock a series that people mock to death already.  

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