Friday, July 29, 2016

The Golden Child: The Knife

The Golden Child: The Knife
I will let you in on something. I like The Golden Child. I think it is all because of Eddie Murphy. This is above is my favorite scene in the movie because it sums up Eddie Murphy's role completely. I love when he does the “I want the knife...please?” and he raises his arms like a child. 
 
The half-assed bow and the stomping are great. Plus, he says, “that's the dude who took my money.”

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Alex Jones vs. TYT

Alex Jones vs. TYT
I know it sounds like an Epic Rap Battle of History episode, but this is actually real. Check it out.
Cenk vs. Alex Jones, two big guys going at it. BTW, check out Cenk's reaction when Alex Jones crashes the show. Jones is a total dick and no one invited him on. Jones lied about being asked to be on the show. Cenk should have kept his cool when Jones baited him. Like that Rideshare guy yelling at that woman, you need to know when you're being baiting into losing your cool.
I love that even Alex Jones' own video contradicts what he claims what happened earlier in the video.
Alex Jones is a total jackass, and Ana Kasparian makes it worst when she starts yelling. She talks about fat shaming all the time, and she calls Alex Jones a fat-fuck. What about fat shamming? Isn't Cenk the same size as Jones?
However, the worst person out of this incident is the unfunny comedian Jimmy Dore. When TYT was in the right in this incident, Dore took a sip of his water and spit it in Jones' face. WTF? That's not how you win arguments. When you are worst than Alex Jones, that's pretty low.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Star Trek Beyond (Part 2 of 3)

Star Trek Beyond (Part 2 of 3)

Long Live Spock
Nimoy's death is handled respectfully in this installment. Spock Prime passes away during the opening of the movie and off screen. New Spock receives the message and takes it a bit hard. He has a tough decision to make. I have to give Simon Pegg credit for giving Spock Prime a proper send off. Spock was important character to both TOS and TNG and he was the bridge to the new universe. Plus, it sends off Nimoy in a nice way by having it a part of the subplot and a interesting motivation for Spock.
With this subplot, Zachary Quinto has some of his best Spock work here since Star Trek (2009). I felt for this Spock because he actually gets to experience his own death with a different lifetime . And, this is only something sci-fi could give us with the two Spocks. However, Spock is not the main focus of this movie and takes a side-step with the driving force of the main story.
Star Trek Enterprise Squared
Did you like Star Trek Enterprise? There is a very interesting connection between this movie and the series Star Trek Enterprise. The reveal in the third act surprisingly uses the time period of ST Enterprise. The setting is very important to the main villain of Star Trek Beyond. And, it uses the rich lore of trek to drive this new and fresh story.
We get to see the USS Franklin and they really gives us a look at a Star Trek Enterprise era starship. I didn't know there was such a connection to that controversial show, but I dug it. I won't give away all of that connection, but you haven't seen the last of the Archer era style uniforms and shuttles. Pegg and company do a good job connecting this story the grounded TOS story.
Better Krall Somebody
Idris Elba plays the main bad guy in this movie. While he is similar to Nero, he is more defined that villain. He doesn't merely scream as much as Nero and is given a deeper point. He does have a motivation, if a little weak. Some of his history on the planet is a bit vague,and I am sure it was on the cutting room floor. But, I like his connections to the Federation and I just didn't understand his hatred of the Feds.
Idris is cover in heavy makeup, but he plays the angry alien guy extremely convincing. I like that he carries himself slightly stronger than his henchmen. And, there is a brooding to his body language and tone. So, the prosthetics will be a problem for some, but don't get to use to them, because there is a reason why he looks the way he does in this movie. And, it is kind of creepy when you really think about what he is doing to his victims.
So, we have had two Thor actors in our Trek movies.
Rey and Jaylah
Did you know that Rey, the lead character for Force awakens, is in this movie? Well, not really, but the similarities between Jaylah and Rey are striking. Both are scavengers on a harsh planet, and they both collect old things to piece together. They live in old burnt out modes of transportation. She is a fighter like Rey. Plus, there is a charm to Jaylah just like Rey that I like. If the Star Wars and Trek universes shared the same space, I feel these two characters would be friends.
Sofia Boutella is a great female character like Rey, but she is not the main focus of the movie such as Rey. I love the actress playing her and I really like her makeup style and look. Plus, her chemistry with Scotty is also a nice treat for fans. Because she is a tech, she has a bond with the bright eyed Scotty.
Jaylah is very cute, and I found myself really liking the characters. She is alien enough with paint and makeup scheme to be cool, but to still show emotion. By the way, I love how she addresses the other characters by their titles and nicknames. It reminded me of the Korgan from Mass Effect.
I hope she shows up in the next movie and doesn't disappear like Carol Marcus. By the way, what happened to Carol Marcus?
Side Note: This character is supposed to be based on Jenifer Lawrence (J-Law=Jaylah), but she is more like Rey from the SW series.  She is a strong female character without the overblown sexuality.  She is a hero that happens to be female and nothing more just like Rey, 

 

Friday, July 22, 2016

Star Trek Beyond (Review 1 of 3)

Star Trek Beyond (Review 1 of 3)


Star Trek Beyond is a very fun movie that surprisingly has some strong ties to both its alt-timeline and regular lore. It is a fitting tribute to the original series, the Kelvin timeline, TNG and even Star Trek Enterprise. The movie has a sense of fun while telling a Trek story that has connections to the earlier series that came before. Plus, the movie does have a major and minor shout-outs to to dead actors (more on that later). Beyond is surprise treat that had me smiling the whole time I was watching it and it is a breath or fresh air compared to all the reboots and remakes. It honestly feels like it brings something fresh to the franchise while pushing the old and new continuities story lines forward.
It feels like a TV episode, but in a good way. Unlike the way Insurrection felt like slightly bigger TNG two part episode, Beyond feels like a grand movie with some grounded story elements we saw on the show from the 60s.
To say there was a lot of trouble behind the scenes of this movie would be an understatement. Things were in a bit of a shake up when Disney announced JJ Abrams as the director of Star Wars Episode 7. He was still promoting his second Trek movie, and that sort of under-cut the hype for that movie. Roberto Orci, writer and producer of the first two movies, was hired as director. A few months in, Roberto left the project. After that shakeup, Paramount brought in Simon Pegg and Doug Jung to rewrite the script. So, the studio also hired action director Justin Lin. With all this shaky behind the scene drama and the bad early trailers, I wasn't looking forward to this movie.
Yet, something changed about my view on the film.
The reviews coming in were very good. After the death of one of the leading stars and not wanting to go out to see Ghostbusters, I decided to give this movie a try. I am glad I did, because I almost went to a Ghostbuster showing instead because I promised to see that movie. And, I know I had more fun with this movie than watching GB.
Justin Lin does a good job carrying over some of the more flasher moments and scenes from the two J. J. Abrams movies. Lin has his moments with certain scenes and handles the camera well from the distance and emotional and special effects scenes. My only issue with Lin is his shaky-camera work for all the close fight scenes. They weren't needed. I actually enjoyed Lin's work and I am glad he didn't go the Batman V. Superman style of film-making.
On the surface, the movie pays tribute to those planet-bound episodes with all the running, fighting and jumping. You get all that in spades. There are scenes that seem to be a ineresting modern take on the Kirk and company stuck on a strange planet. (Heck you even get a joke about Kirk getting his shirt ripped.)
There is humor in the movie, but it certainly isn't as funny as the first JJ movie. And, I felt that was lacking a bit in this installment, but that probably had something to do with some of the heavier subject matter this film deals with in the subplots. Spock, McCoy and Scotty are the ones that have the funnest lines. There was probably more to the Spock and McCoy subplot that got cut out. While it doesn't hurt it that much, the lack of humor was a bit missed though.
Were they going to address Leonard Nimoy and Anton Yelchin deaths?
Very much so with Nimoy. 
And, what about this Star Trek Enterprise connection?  
Hmm...

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Melissa Moore/Riley Reid



One of my most popular posts is still the Melissa Moore/Riley Reid post. And, everyone knows I have a huge crush on RR. I get tons of views on the post. I heard a podcast with Melissa Moore saying she really enjoys working with Riley Reid. That's like having sex with a clone of yourself, right? It is still uncanny how much they look alike. For NSFW selfies of RR, check this out.
For your and my pleasure, here are a few more none-nudes. 

Jem and Holograms (review)

Jem and Holograms
 Let's get this out of the way, this movie is shit. There is no other way to put it. It is a vague, vague retelling of the 80s cartoon show. There is so much wrong with the premise and the story that one review couldn't cover all the mistakes this movie is plagued with. Plus, it shows no respect for the material from the cartoon show. It is merely using the Jem IP to tell a really bad story that teens growing up on Bieber and Kim Kardashian would understand.
Directed by Jon M. Chu , it feels like those Step Up movies than a callback. Instead of throwing us back to that corny 80s pop music which was all over the cartoon show, we get some shitty auto-tuned stuff. So, let's shove in a bunch of teen and millennial bullshit into a movie that is supposed to be aimed at women who grew up watching the show. It makes no sense, because who is this movie for?
Sad to say it but, this is where I think a Micheal Bay would work nicely as a producer. Bay is a walking and talking 80s meme himself.
-The four female leads aren't that bad: For a shitty movie, these four Holograms are pretty good. Unlike other shows with young people like say Girls, I really don't loathe them. They are rather charming as Jem and the Holograms. The script fails them.
-Josie and the Pussycats 2.0: This is clearly a retelling of that movie more than Jem. Except, they torn out all humor and replaced it with an unfinished love story and a half-measured tale of family. There is little to no fun in this movie, and it needed it if the budget is this small. You can fill in a lot of things with good humor and the concept of Jem has good spoof material.
-What is this movie supposed to be about? You have the YouTube videos and social media aspects, but even that isn't fully realized and taken to next step. It is merely touch upon. Is it about family and extended family? Is it about quick fame? Jem turning into a cheap Lady Gaga? That stupid Jar-Jar robot?
-The Rock is in this piece of shit. He has more charm in his 20 seconds than anything or anyone else in this movie. Wait, the Rock plays Roadblock in GI Joe and GI Joe is a part of the Hasbro family like Jem. So, is this merely Roadblock talking about Jem? Nope.
-The Misfits ARE in the movie, but only at the end: Yes, the appearance of the Misfits in the last scene is sequel-bate, but it actually works. Their behavior and appearance feel more like the cartoon show than the rest of the movie. I think the movie would have been more fun if we had the Misfits in the story all the way through. We needed a real villain.
-Juliette Lewis as Erica Raymond : Yes, Scientology mouthpiece Lewis plays the so called villain, but not really. Eric Raymond was his name on the show and he was more of an asshole than Lewis plays her. Yes, they switched genders and made he a she. Lewis is that nutty to almost pull off the manger role, but she really isn't the bad guy-asshole character from the show.

-YouTube the Movie: Luckily, it's not Fred the movie. However, we get random YT clips that move in and out of the film as if the director had ADD. No one really knows why these clips are in the movie. The show would have their own pop songs move in and out of the show mid-stream, but this makes no sense.
-Aubrey Peeples as Jerrica "Jem" Benton: She is actually not bad as the lead character. To bad this isn't the Jem character.
The narrative is a complete mess with nothing really fully being fully realized. First, Jem gets famous from posting music on YouTube. She and her band-mates debut and they break up. There is also a story about Jem finding clues from her dead father in basically an Easter Egg hunt. Erica Raymond wants to make Jem a solo act in the form of Gaga. Story lines happen and are quickly resolved with little or no effect. This scatter brain approach to story telling is rather annoying and takes away from the movie. Nothing is fully realized in this thing because it is merely touched upon and thrown away.
I feel bad for the fans of the animated series, because this movie is merely a shadow of the series. It is a WB drama series wrapped up in the false nostalgia. Old fans won't like it and young crowds aren't going to like it because it is not hip enough.
I can't figure out what happened between concept and post-production with this movie, but it turned out nothing like the old TV show. With only a few random references here and there, I can't recommend this movie to any of the women that grew up on the cartoon show. Just stick with the back issues of the comic from IDW instead, because that series honors the cartoon show more than this cheap WB letdown. I hate this movie and it will cause you great pain.
I went through the entire review without saying, “This movie is truly-truly terrible”...until now.
Grade: F+

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Star Wars: Rogue One opening crawl?

Star Wars: Rogue One opening crawl?
That was extremely epic. I freaking love that the Episode IV crawl gets distorted and we hear people call out in battle as the camera zooms in on the paragraph dealing with the battle station plans. This movie happens a few months to minutes before Episode IV. 
That was extremely cool. Here's hoping this is the real opening to the movie.

MILF$ By Fergie

MILF$ By Fergie
It's 2016.  Aren't we done with putting "$" in words?
I've give you some sound advice . Just watch the music video with the sound off. Slap that mute button, because this is an awful song. Fergie is clearly trying to cater to the young and stupid pop crowds that love Future Hip-Hop. I think this growing trend in hip-hop sounds like trashcans and farts rubbing together. (Let's have a shitty farting beat and repeated words and call it hip-hop. No thanks.)
This song sounds like that shit Nicki Minaj has been shoving in our faces for years now. Granted Fergie's music hasn't been great, but she took it to a whole shit-level with this garbled mess. Why, Fergie, why? I love MILF's, I truly do, but I can't sit through this music again without feeling a rush of head pain. It is that bad. 
I sort of like the video for its retro look, but other artists have done the 40-50s thing better. And, seeing MILF walk around in underwear is a plus, I just wish it was to a better song. The biggest dower though is including Kim Kardashian in your video. What is your point? Heck, I want to visit Milfville.
Just watch the video without the trashcan music. Better yet, just head over to PornHub.
Grade: F-
Note: MILF doesn't stand for “Moms I'd Like To Follow ”

Madea vs. Hallooween : Boo! A Madea Halloween trailer

Madea vs. Hallooween : Boo! A Madea Halloween trailer
At this point, these Madea movies are like the Ernest Goes to Bum-F franchise movies. Is she going to fight a troll next? I know that these movies aren't made for me, but this series looks like it is going to jump the shark with this entry, however that last movie was really-really bad. 
The trailer is so bad that it repeats a joke twice, but it was only mildly funny the first time. (She punches a clown in a jack in the box. However, that was inspired by a bunch of viral videos.)
It feels more like a spoof making fun of Madea movies.  It feels more like a Scooby-Doo movie than anything else. 
Honestly the Madea movies feel like Earnest movies.
Diary of a Mad Black Woman : I guess Madea takes on diaries.
Madea Goes to Jail : Literally an Ernest title.
I Can Do Bad All by Myself
Madea's Big Happy Family
Madea's Witness Protection : Madea saves Witness Protection?
A Madea Christmas : Madea saves Christmas?
Madea's Tough Love 
 

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Get outta the car (Karr)

Man, that was intense. Given that I have health problems, blowing up like that will cause some serious issues. I think BOTH people in this incident are to blame. And, yes the guy does sound like an angry Seth Rogen, but looks like Mark Bunker.
-Waiting for a pickup: This happens all the time. People will request a car and keep you waiting for minutes. Then, they'll tell you to rush because they are in a hurry. Obey the traffic laws because the rider won't be paying for your ticket.
-Was she using the rideshare as an EMS? : Please. call 911 Uber and Lyft can be sued for certain things. This seems to be a growing trend of people using rideshare services as ER pickups.
-The Driver should have kept cool and professional: He played this completly wrong. You keep your cool and just drive her to the front of the ER entrance. If she gave you major problems, there are report icons for each trip. Report her, plus giving her one-star means you will never see her again. Keep your cool, because you will have some troubled rides. Never ever lose control.
-Passive aggressively baiting him: She is completely playing a game with him. She's baiting him into blowing up even more for the camera. He should have realized she was baiting him into getting angrier and angrier. By asking stupid questions, she kept roping him in.
-BTW, you do have the right to call the police. There have been many times when police officers have removed drunk and dangerous riders from calls.
I am certain he lost his job However, I think Uber should keep him on though. Just tell him to act professionally. This woman was clearly baiting him. We've all had some bad rides, but the great ones always outweigh the bad ones.
 
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