Saturday, February 28, 2009

Snuggie? Are they serious?

Snuggie? Are they serious?

Make sure to read this to find out about this bizarre item.

A snuggie...

Someone at work mentioned them to me while we were having a discussion about the ShamWow guy and his battle against Scientology. He showed me a picture of this and I was perplexed as to who someone would buy this product.

Someone crazy, wild-eyed scientist created this messed up invention. “Hey, let's build sleeves into a blanket?” People no longer have to take their blankets off when they move around, now you can wear it like those Vulcan robes in Star Trek, And what the Jedi wear.

“The Blanket With Sleeves” is just silly to me, like the crock-shoes. Yet, if people are willing to buy a crystal skull full of vodka, they'll buy anything.

Bill Maher even talks about it in the video below.

Mark my words, you will see someone walk around your local Mall or Quick Mart in this stupid robe. I'm not saying you should slap them, but at least shame them.

So, let me get this straight, I need to go out and get Crystal Skull Vodka, a ShamWow, and a Snuggie?

Now, it being reported the Snuggie has sold over 4 million of these things.

Does this mean the Snuggle Bear can sue them for the name?

If you're going to sell a useless product like this, at least have Billy Mays or Venice Offer sell it for you.

Guess what? She's naked under that Snuggie.

Rihanna is back with Chris Brown? Why?

Rihanna is back with Chris “I beat women” Brown?

Please tell me this isn't so.

(( reports that Rihanna has reunited with her boyfriend, R&B singer Chris Brown, some three weeks after he was arrested for allegedly assaulting her. E! News reports that the two are together at Sean "Diddy" Combs' Star Island mansion in Miami Beach. Brown was booked by the Los Angeles Police Department for making criminal threats but his case has not yet been presented to the District Attorney, who will ultimately decide what charges, if any, will be filed.))

Did I miss a vital clue or something? He beat the living crap out of her and left her beaten and bloodied in the car while he ran away.

I know there were rumors that she felt bad about the whole situation and wanted to get back with Mr. Brown. But this is pure assault and he needs to go to jail. You don't beat women.

Why does this smell like a move a person with a victim mentality would do?

Rihanna is the victim here, and she needs to know that this can happen again unless they both seek treatment.

This is really troubling to me.

More info, from Zap2it

(("While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves," the unnamed source tells the magazine. ))

What is it you're not getting here? Beating the one you love and leaving her in your rental car to bleed isn't exactly a Valentine gift. In order for a victim to break the cycle of violence, they have to get out of the destructive relationship.

Love doesn't equal beatings, unless it's the kinky kinds. (I guess)

Great, I'm starting to sound like Dr. Drew.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Crystal Head Vodka?

Crystal Head Vodka? (Product page)

I discovered this little gem through a Forces of Geeks post. And, I clicked on it and I couldn't believe my eyes and ears.

Yes, there is a brand vodka being sold in a shape of a human crystal skull.

So, who is behind this strange brand? Non other than Dan Aykroyd! Yes, the former Blues Brother man himself. He seems to be serious about this crap too. He's actually going around selling this strange bottles.

((When this website first went live on the internet, most people thought it was a spoof. Dan Aykroyd selling vodka out of a crystal head for $50? Sounds like a sketch from SNL, but it's totally legit. Aykroyd is hocking the very potent spirit via crystalheadvodka, which features videos of the multi-talented actor talking about the mystical power of the crystal heads (he does not use the word 'skull' because I think it is licensed by a certain set of adventure movies). ))

What's next Conheads lunches? Blues Brother underwear?

You have to see the video to believe it. Since Dan does believe in this sort of thing, I'm guessing he believes in this product and he is not doing it as goof. I'd like to see his Ghost-buster character selling this thing too as a gag.

Here are some videos:

Aykroyd explains the magic of the Skulls!

Uh, that “I'm a PC” guy drinks some Vodka.

This guy explains why we should all by a 50 dollar vodka in a shape of a skull. “It's a skull. How cool is that? It's a F'ing Skull!”

Does it have powers? Well, it can get you drunk.

Battlestar Galactica getting a movie?

Battlestar Galactica getting a movie? WTF

The TV series hasn’t even ended yet and they’re talking about a movie.
From The Hollywood Reporter,

((Just as the acclaimed Sci Fi Channel series "Battlestar Galactica" enters its final episodes, Universal has quietly entered into negotiations with Glen A. Larson to write and produce a big-screen version of the property he created.))

This reminds me of the time when the original producers of the Stargate movie wanted to make a sequel movie that only connected to the first film, thus ignoring the various series spin offs. I knew they hated the series and didn’t want any connection to them.

I loved the old series a lot, but this sounds like Glen A. Larson wanting to show up Ron Moore and make his own version. While Larson has the right to do so, because it is his universe, but why is he really making this movie now?

Will this lead to another series set in the Larson Continuity?

What are Larson’s feelings toward Moore’s reboot?

But, it would be cool to see those shiny robots again. Ignoring Galactica 1980, the original series began to move away from its original premise toward the end of the season. They even brought in a “Russian” type enemy to replace the robots. Would this trend continue in the movie?

For some reason, I like the way JJ Abrams is handling the continuity for the Star Trek movie. It is a reboot, but retains the history of the other trek universe, by making another timeline.

Samuel L. Jackson is back as Nick Fury?

Samuel L. Jackson is back as Nick Fury

After all the BS Marvel Studios put Jackson through in negotiations, it looks like they’ve finally come up with a nine picture deal for his movie version of Nick Fury.

((Samuel L Jackson has signed up to play the Marvel comics superhero Nick Fury in Iron Man 2 and up to eight further films, according to the Hollywood Reporter.))

There’s no doubt that Jackson is a comic book fan and that he let Marvel base their Ultimate Universe version of Nick Fury on him. But there was talk of Marvel low-balling many of the talent behind Iron Man, and it looked like Jackson probably wasn’t going to be in the sequel.

((The unprecedented deal will also see him appear in Thor, Captain America and The Avengers, all of which will go into production over the next two years.))

Nick Fury is very important to Marvel’s overall movie plans so I’m happy we’ll see him show up in these movies. It would even be ballsy for them to have him show up in the next Spiderman. But, Spiderman is produced by Sony though, so it probably won’t happen.

Keep in mind, the Nick Fury in the Ultimate is pretty much connected to everyone in that universe, even the X-Men.

Anyway, this is good news.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Golden Raspberry Awards.

F’ the Oscars, I’m more interested in what films won in the Golden Raspberry Awards.

You learn just as much about movie making from bad movies as you do with good movies. I love when a Rich Slut, A Former James Bond, and Former Funny Man can all win awards. This is a great country where even the failures receive awards. (Did New Coke ever receive a reward?)

Anyway, here are some of the winners, uh losers.

Worst Picture: The Love Guru: While there were certainly far worst movies out there, I do think this should knock down Myers’ ego a bit. So, that way he can grow out of his 90s mode and into funnier things. But, the animated VO work will keep his bank fat.

Worst Actor: Mike Myers: Didn’t he win for Cat in the Hat too? You who else was in Cat in the Hat?

Worst Actress: Paris Hilton: She won for her wonderful performance in The Hottie and the Nottie, it is a movie I still haven’t seen. With all the bad press over her two movies, she still hasn’t gotten the drift that people don’t want her to act. She’s rumored to be in Pedal to the Metal.

Worst Supporting Actress: Paris Hilton again!: Has anyone seen Repo: The Genetic Opera? Sounds like a delightful little film.

Worst Supporting Actor: Pierce Brosnan: Mama Mia: I haven’t watched this one either. I like Brosnan. However, when you do movies like Death Train and the sequel Night Watch, you’re just asking for a razzie.

Worst Director: Uwe Boll: Come on, this guy will win a razzie every year. Btw, you Must read MC's post about an upcoming Boll movie that will even shock the most seasoned critics. At this point, Boll is shoveling crap by the pound.

Btw, within the first link make sure to watch Boll's video response to the Razzie Awards. BTW, why is he in Sudan? Do they want him there? At this point, every country should ban Boll.


Would you share a burger with Paris?

R2D2's Subtitles

What R2-D2 really thinks during Ep I

Who knew R2 hated Jar-Jar? I mean he gets C-blocked by Jar-Jar.

The subtitles really do fit with the context of the movie. Check it out. This guy did a good job with this one.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Random Stuff

Random Stuff

~Really can't stand Red Bull and I really hate those Red Bull gives you winds ads too. Red Bull taste like crap shoved together with pee. It keeps you awake because it taste so bad.

~Megan Fox has broken off her engagement with her boyfriend Brian Austin Green. Hey, Megan, I'm single. Want to go out?

~Here's what happens when Doc Brown overshoots the planned future.

~Remember Delgo? It was the movie that had a budget of 40 million, but made only $694,782. Well, the man behind the movie that made history emerges and speaks about the grand failure that was Delgo. I've had some failures in life, but not on this scale.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Billy Mays vs. Vince Offer

Billy Mays vs. Vince Offer

If there ever was a fight I’d like to see is a battle to the death between Bill Mays and Vince Offer. It would be like that episode of Star Trek where Spock is horny and must fight Kirk to the death. My money would be on Billy Motherf’ing Mays.

Of course Mays doesn’t really like the Scientology-suing Vince Offer. Yeah, the Zorbeez and the ShamWow are the same damn thing. Mays has a point here. I'd like to see Mays punch Offer in the face and shove Oxi Clean into his ShamWow hair.

Listens to Billy call out Vince here.

Here are a few remixes

Watching so-call housewives talk about being on the ball seems a little strange and dirty to me.

“I'll put them both in the rinse cycle” Having a Granny talk about being on the 'ball' is just wrong Mays.

Offer can jam too.

Make sure to check out these funny pictures.

Meet the Spartans

Meet the Spartans

I’ve had actual turds that were far more entertaining than this movie.

Meet the Spartans isn’t really a movie, but a collection of random references to other popular movies. We’re supposed to point and laugh at every reference with glee whenever they come on screen. We know this because a character will point at the reference and tell us which movie it comes from. Seltzer and Friedberg never bother to see that the audience is smart enough to figure out jokes without the character explaining it.

The Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer think riffing on the 300 storyline is enough to keep the movie flowing, but the joke gets rather old real fast, and especially when 300 is sort of a parody itself. There is nothing in the movie that is remotely funny or mildly amusing.

There isn’t even a plot to speak of, and even spoof movies need a plot, like the wonderfully still funny Naked Gun series and the first Airplane movie. Friedberg and Seltzer don’t even try. Don’t waste your time even watching this movie. It is pure shit and that’s giving it too much praise.

Grade: F+

-Carmen Electra is attractive, and that’s pretty much all I can say positive.

The Blaster Beam: James Horner use of it in Scores

For some reason, I'm getting a lot of hits on a post I did about Craig Huxley 's Blaster Beam, which was promptly used in Jerry Goldsmith's Star Trek The Motion Picture. I'm not sure why I'm getting all the traffic now about it, but here's a follow up

I hope Michael Giacchino finds a way use it in the newest Star Trek movie.

As I mentioned before, James Horner came around to using the Blaster Beam in his score of Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan. He didn't use the instrument as much as Goldsmith did in the first movie, but it is noticeable in a few tracks. (He also used it a little in Part III)

The Genesis Countdown: You can hear it around the 1 minute mark in the track and is used later on for the bloody Khan's final speech.

The Battle in the Mutara Nebula: I love this track and the use of the piccolo. This is probably Horner's best trek track on the CD. Listen carefully for it in this track, it's there. (It's too bad Horner has reused some of these themes over and over again on other scores.) It comes in stronge in the 6-min mark.

In Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

Stealing the Enterprise: The blaster beam makes an appearance here as well. (Danger, Space Doors are closed.) There is also some un-used music around the 3-min mark. You have to wonder if there was a deleted scene here. “Kirk, you do this, you'll never sit in the Captain's chair again. ”

That whole Stealing the Enterprise scene was brilliant and wouldn't have been half as good without Horner's score.

Bonus video: Here is Craig Huxley playing the Blaster Beam.

The Blaster Beam

You can check out more about him here at his myspace.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (Holy Crap this movie is going to suck)

Make sure to check out the trailer. The movie comes out on February 27.

The Slashfilm site has a few 'wonderful' clips up so make sure to watch them without laughing to much. This movie is going to be a masterpiece just like Mortal Kombat II the movie was. (Yeah right)

So, do I have anything good to say about the movie? Uh, Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li is cute, so she fits the part. Other than that, nope. I think this movie will get a slight boost because of the new Street Fighter game and the fact lonely fanboys won't have much to do on a Friday night.

Fanboys will get scenes like this...

While Two Girls, One Bathroom sounds appealing, this clip is sort of awful.

I enjoy watching two attractive women fitting, but something about this clip reminds me of Steven Seagal. I half expected Jason Statham to come out and start fighting.

Top Five Hate List

I like how the ShamWow has 'Sham' right in the title. “I know Billy Mays, and you sir are no Billy Mays.”


Top Five Hate List

There are a lot of people that anger me, but these top five are the worst.

5. Sean Delonas: Yeah, He’s the guy that made the ‘Monkey’ cartoon about Obama. I have to agree with the Samurai Frog here. How could the artist not know that this was going to cause an uproar around the country? Didn’t they learn anything from the Curious George T-shirt incident? To call this guy an artist is a bit much. Most of his art is a bit shitty anyway. I think they knew going in that this would cause an outcry. What better way to sell newspapers in a falling newspaper market?

4. Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg : Yeah, I sat through Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans. I really can't call them movies per say.

3. The ShamWow guy (Vince Offer): Wow, he even has “offer” in his name. While he gets credit for taking on the Church of Scientology for supposedly stealing money, it doesn't make up for annoying ads like this or this...

I'd like to see Billy Mays kick his ass and then burn the Shamwow in front of him. “You’re ShamWow didn’t save your ass.”

2. Nadya Suleman (The Oct-mom): I've already stated my view on this crazy woman. What is up with the bad plastic surgery? Then she claimed she didn't have any work done. Why do the stupid people have more children than smart people? Well, what else are you going to while collecting food stamps and Government checks?

1. Chris Brown: Yeah, you knew he was going to be number one. After seeing the photo of her beaten, bloody, and bruised face, I want this CS'er put in prison for good. How can someone that claims to love a person beat them up this badly? Rihanna, don't go back to him. Make sure to file charges against Brown. That's the only way to stop the circle of violence. Some say the photo shouldn't have been released, but I believe it needed to be to show how badly he laid into her. This is what happens in domestic violence. People need to know.

Now, this A-hole has hired a Crisis PR Firm to give this a positive spin. Why would anyone take up his case?

Saturday, February 21, 2009


15. Can you sing the fight song? I not only can sing the fight song, I can still play it on a damn tuba. I had to play the song every Friday night for those damn football games. I hate that song. Our fight song was the same song as the University of Kentucky fight song.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Besides my band teacher (Mr. Hagan), I was really hated by most of the teachers. They called me a smart ass imagine that.

17. Where did you sit during lunch? I usually hated going to lunch because it generally reveal the social and class structure of the student body. Who you sat with revealed your importance to the student body. I chose to cut lunch and practice in the band room.

18. What was your school's full name? Eastern High School. Check out the google map!

19. When did you graduate? During the days of the Old Republic, when the Jedi were still around.

20. What was your school mascot? Our mascot was a damn eagle, The Eastern Eagle. Like all mascot birds, it was angry. I’ve up going to another school (U of L) where another angry bird is our mascot. Can’t we change it up? How about a cockroach or rat as a mascot? A field mouse?

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Only to get laid…but seriously nope. While it wasn’t a good time for me (all four years), I wouldn’t have ended up where I am today. And despite my flaws, I’m a much more stable and smarter person because of the sheer confusion as a teenager. You have to live through crap to understand it. But about that getting laid thing…where did I put that time machine?

22. Did you have fun at Prom? I didn’t go to my senior prom. I was hell-bent on not going all year. I wouldn’t have gotten a date anyway, and I wasn’t going to go solo. I believe I worked at Kroger that night. Never regretted that decision.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? Uh, what? Didn’t you read my answer from above? You’re starting to piss me off here.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? Why bother when I keep running into former classmates when I’m out. What are you supposed to get out of class reunions? People get fat, old and boring, so I don’t need a reunion to confirm that. Now crashing other people’s class reunions sounds like a good idea (Or a follow up to the Wedding Crashers).

25. Do you still talk to people from school? I have no choice. They tend to make their presence known to me by meeting me face to face. I generally try to ignore them. Where’s that Predator stealth technology when you need it?

26. School Colors? Yell Blue-Blue, yell White-White, all together: Let’s Fight!

27. What celebrities came from your high school? A bunch of stupid athletes and Ned Beatty! Yeah, the fat dude from Superman I & II. (Sorry, Mr. LU-Thor)

Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor (revisited)

Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor (revisited)

Some decided to remix the already dance heavy song and somehow made the song even more techno-ry. Check it out here.

Now, if someone can Mashup this song with the Christan Bale outburst rave mix, I'd be happy.

This song is so catchy and really funny when you read the actual lyrics.

((Tell the players, make it understood

It ain't no good if there's too much wood

Make sure you know before you go

The dance floor bro-hoe ratio

Five to one is a brodeo

Tell Steve and Mike it's time to go

Wait outside all night to find

Twenty dudes in a conga line))

And the best line is this one

((The only boobs I'll see tonight will be made of origami))

How exactly does one go about making Origami boobs? I'd like to know.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Kirk Cameron is the S%@T

Fireproof (Who knew this movie was funny)

Comment: The first thing that comes to my mind is; these people aren't actors.

The other thing is: Why is Kirk Cameron’s character so into porn? He seems to be kicking over his trashcans, yelling at his wife and watching porn on his computer.

Here’s the synopsis:

((After seven years of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that they are ready to move on without each other. Yet as they prepare to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's dad asks his son to try an experiment: The Love Dare.))

I’ll wait for the Super Un-rated Edition.

For some reason, when I see the title “Fireproof” I think of another direct-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Random Things

Random Things

~Newsflash: Valentine sucks for single people like me. We’re always reminded that we’re single on this stupid holiday. How about a day for single people? I’m not sure what to name it though. Anyway, screw Cupid.

~Please, Hollywood, don't give the Octuplets Mom a reality show. Learn from The Learning Channel and not even consider making a show around her. This woman, Nadya Suleman, is crazy and should have her litter taken away from her. Really, what's up with the bad Angelina Jolie face lift? Did a bee sting her on her lips? Take her 14 kids away and let her 15 minutes of 'fame' run out.

~MC Hammer is getting a reality show, hopfully without the Oct-Mom. Do we need MC Hammer back on TV? Do you remember the last time he was on TV? The show was called Hammerman and it was a poorly drawn cartoon. Nothing good will come of this.

~More info in the Casey Anthony case: The items from the woods where the body was found came from the mother's house. Can we throw the book at her now?

~I never thought I'd say this, but Pat Robertson is right! He's gone on record and denounced Rush Limbaugh's statement about wanting President Obama to fail. For once, I'm giving Pat Robertson points. I didn't know he had it in him.

(("That was a terrible thing to say," Robertson responded. "I mean, he's the president of all the country. If he succeeds, the country succeeds. And if he doesn't, it hurts us all. Anybody who would pull against our president is not exactly thinking rationally." ))

~Yes, Joe Rogan is right: Kellogs has been making millions off of stoners across the world, and now they get all high and mighty with dropping Phelps. BTW, he's right, Eggo Waffles are the best!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Flight of the Conchords: Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor

Flight of the Conchords: Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor

I can’t stop laughing at this song and video. I like how they make fun all those annoying dance/trance songs from the 90’s, but there is a bit of Daft Punk in this song. Listen to the verses.

Btw, there is a funny cameo by Randy Jones from the Village People when they do the Congo-Line. His appearance makes it even funnier.

The rule is simple; dance clubs and parties should have a larger ratio of women to men in order for it to ‘pop off’. You’re competing against the other ‘dicks’.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Bart Simpson is a Scientologist?

"Pwned, Nancy."

Bart Simpson is a Scientologist?

Listen to this...

This kind of thing just flew over my head the time it happened. And, I didn’t know anything about it.

But, it seemed Bart Simpson did a few robocalls for the Space Church at the end of January.

((Bart Simpson's voice appeared in a phone recording advertising a Scientologist gathering in Hollywood that was clearly voiced by Nancy Cartwright ))

Yep, Nancy (I gave over 10 million to the Space Church) Cartwright made the robocalls with Bart Simpson's voice. Well, of course the Internet ran with it and videos started to appear with the voice mall and pictures of Bart Simpson.

((Of course, the audio found its way to the Internet. 20th Century Fox has been scrambling to pull it off every corner of YouTube ever since Perez Hilton broke the story and Fox made him remove it. You can hear it here before Fox spoils the fun for the rest of us.))

Considering that there are hundreds of Simpsons videos out there, and Fox hasn’t gone after those. They moved quickly to remove the Simpson images from the Scientology videos. Why did they do that?

I see two possible reasons behind this.

1. Is it because they didn’t want anything to do with Cartwright’s voice mail?

2. Or was someone from the church pressuring FOX to pull the videos?

I'm guessing it could be one.

Al Jean, a executive producer for the show, came out with this public statement.

((“The Simpsons does not, and never has, endorsed any religion, philosophy or system of beliefs any more profound than Butterfinger bars,” he said. ))

Well played Al Jean, but why is FOX so mum on the situation? This is the same studio that owns Fox News and makes a fuss about everything, why keep quiet now? (Remember all the press about the Watchmen lawsuit and the stink they made over it? Come on Fox!)

Things that make you go hmm. (I know I'm going to get some 'attention' from certain members over this post, but I don't care.)

Behold the ‘new’ opening titles to the Simpsons.

Behold the ‘new’ opening to the Simpsons.

I haven't watched much of The Simpsons of late, with the exception of the movie, but that was the updated opening.

There are a lot of small changes visually, plus some minor sound changes as well. Above is the new Main Title. I really do like the added animation and characters to the piece.

Some people have started to dis it, but I really like the opening. Things start to get stale after a while, Everyone Star Trek show, except Voyager, changed their title opening. So, I see nothing wrong with fixing it up with the new HD stuff coming in. (Though I don't think FOX is broadcasting in true HD channels, but a slightly different format...)

Look closely for Spider Pig from the movie. Make sure to check out the pan around scene that has been changed for this version. As another posters from digg stated, God appears to have five fingered hands, the Devil might too. That's pretty clever if true.

I just love the couch gag at the end. You'll probably won't see that again though.

The Post movie Title Opening...

From Digg, It’s been stated that the Title sequence was completely changed after the Simpsons movie aired and the 19th season began for the first episode.

In Spanish

I like that they kept the opening in continuity with the movie with the rebuilding of the town and appearance of Spider Pig.

Make sure to read Bart's chalk-board letters.

Btw, I will have another post about the Simpsons coming up, but it is about a certain actress and the character she plays...

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Zombies in Texas

Zombies in Texas,2933,484326,00.html

((Chris Lippincott, director of media relations for the Texas Department of Transportation, confirmed that a portable traffic sign at Lamar Boulevard and West 15th Street, near the University of Texas at Austin, was hacked into during the early hours of Jan. 19.))

Sounds like another plot to the next Resident Evil videogame. I want to be prepared if there really are Zombies ahead. I want people to warn me of Vampires, Zombies and Werewolves.

One Missed Call

One Missed Call

One crap movie…

I’ve never thought they could come up with this concept. Cells phones kill people. There are killer cell phones really? This movie is based on the Japanese horror film Chakushin Ari.

Basically, a person receives a voice mail that tells their impending death. The doomed person begins to see ghosts before they die. The movie is a cross between Final Destination and The Ring, except with killer cell phones. It does neither of these concepts well.

So, how dumb is One Missed Call? At one point, a young lady is standing near a swimming pool and a zombie hand grabs her and sucks her into the swimming pool. It doesn’t end there, her cat sits by the pool confused and the zombie hand grabs the cat and sucks it into the pool too (?!).

For a film based on a Japanese horror film, there isn’t much gore or creepy scenes. The direction and acting ranges from bland to downright horrible. There doesn’t seem to be any effort put into the movie on any level. How can a movie be so bad and bland at the same time?

Yet, there is something in this movie that is both confusing and scary. Margaret Cho as a police detective. I like a great deal of Cho’s older stand up shows, but her acting has deteriorated over time. Compare her acting in Face/Off to this movie. Her character brings nothing to the movie, and I have to wonder if someone just gave her a job here as friend.

Edward Burns and Shannyn Sossamon have as much chemistry as a block of wood has with a cup of water. The only bright spot is the character that Ray Wise plays. His character is a cross between American’s Most Wanted guy and Unsolved Mysteries.

With poor acting and suspenseful scenes, this PG-13 horror flick has nothing to offer to anyone. Unless, the concepts of killer cell phones or ill-conceived death scenes are your thing, then this movie is for you. Otherwise, don’t even bother with this J-horror remake.

Hang up on this movie.

Grade: D-

~Boost Mobile must have paid a lot of money to actually get to promote their pricing plan in the damn movie. I didn’t know I’d get a Boost Mobile ad in the middle of the damn movie.

Raspy voice: “Hello, Sidney. What’s your favorite scary movie?”

It’s certainly not this one.

With unlimited texting and free weekends, I can talk to my evil demon girl any time!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Flight of the Navigator (Joey Cramer has been found)

Flight of the Navigator (Joey Cramer)

I just finished re-watching Flight of the Navigator, and the movie brings back so many fond memories of that time period. I remember watching it in the theater with my family. It was such a fun movie at the time, because I think every kid wanted to own his or her own time-traveling space ship.

Anyway, there have been people actively trying to find Joey Cramer, the main kid in the movie, for some time now. After doing about five-six movies, Cramer kind of disappeared from the movie scene.

Well, it looks like someone has found him. (Check out the picture of him here today)

This blogger has greater details into where he's hiding. (Make sure to check the side by side comparison on her blog.) It looks like him, and seems to have fared better than many of these other child actor, with the exception of working in retail.

Taken from the Blogger Bex

((Reader Mobius01, aka "Karl S.," linked us to a an answerbag post entitled "Where is Joey Cramer?" On that site, one "Gordo" reveals that Joey "is working in a sporting goods store in Sechelt in B.C (on the Sunshine Coast)." He even provides a photo! Eagle-eyed readers will spot that the fan in the photo is holding a VHS of none other than "Flight of the Navigator." Is this really him? Let's do a quick side by side comparison: ))

This is why I love the Internet.

"You are the Navigator."

Friday, February 13, 2009

Improv Everywhere (These Guys are Good)

"High Five, Bro"

Improv Everywhere (These Guys are Good)

I recently discovered these people through a comment section on and I found their public Improv skits to be rather enjoyable.

One of their best is the Food Court

The best part is when the security guard shows.

Check out the behind the scene info here.

High Five on Escalator

I need one of these. We all need a high five sometimes. I'd rather give a 'free' high five than a free hug. Make sure to read how this was done here. It is nice to see people's reactions to the whole thing.

I like these guys.


More fun with Memes

As a rule, I hate memes, but I enjoy making fun of them. Here be go again.

1. Did you date someone from your school? No, and I’d like to thank you for bringing that painful memory up again as I type. Damn, the high school girls never looked my way when I in high school. I didn’t help matters by being an angry geek that kept to himself. I didn’t even brother going to my Senior Prom.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No, and I’m not married now. I would never marry anyone from my High School. I wasn’t a fan of the type of attitudes the girls had there.

3. Did you car pool to school? Wasn’t the school bus a form of car-pooling anyway?

4. What kind of car did you have? First, it was that damn yellow school bus. Then I got a 76 or 77 Monte Carlo car. Note: An old rusty Monte Carlo is never a babe magnet.

5. What kind of car do you have now? The DeLorean time machine. I’m going to go back in time and stop myself from writing this Meme.

6. Its Saturday night...where are you now? Sitting at home maxing and relaxing. I don’t get out much.

7. It is Saturday night...where were you then? Sitting at home maxing and relaxing. I didn’t get out much. Hold on, I’m seeing a pattern here…shit.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? Uh, you had to bring this up? I worked in a Kroger store, grocery store chain, and worked my way up to the Produce Department. I wouldn’t call that much of a promotion. That job sucked. Plus my hands smelled like a garden or Leeks and Chives.

9. What kind of job do you do now? I am part of the Rebel Alliance, take me away!

10. Were you a party animal? Thank you for comparing me to an animal. If you mean a teenage James sitting in a corner and watching everyone else have fun, then yeah I was a “Party Animal.”

11. Were you considered a flirt? Teenage James didn’t even know what that was. I couldn’t even get the ladies to say hi to me. I had no game. But, there was this one girl…

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? I was in Band from Middle School through a semester of College. Band probably kept me from getting angry and dropping out of school. Music taught me a lot of things I hold true of today. If it was one thing I’m thankful for, I have to say music.

13. Were you a nerd? Nope. In order to be a nerd, you have to be good at school. I was a C student. I was more of geek.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? In school suspension…It may look nice from the outside, but inside the walls were lit with the flames of Hell.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Super Bowl Porn case

If you remember correctly, 80, 000 Comcast customers got a little, uh big surprise, when families gathered around the Boob Tube (Pun intended) and witnessed the Super Bowl game switch to a scene from porn!

And, it was a bit shocking to see.

You can actually see the video here, but keep in mind it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK! Here's my problem with the actually 'mistake'. There is no female nudity, it's all male, even though there is a smoking hot chick in the video clip (Tristan Kingsley and check out her post-Super Bowl fame here). If you're going to have another sex Football scandal, at least show a boob or something, and not a flapping penis.

We'll now it's being reported that our limited FBI resources are being 'poked' into the incident. (Check out the news source here)

((The clip, which included full male nudity, was the result of a malicious act, Comcast said last week. ))

So, someone did this on purpose. Doesn't the FBI have other thing more pressing to solve? Like murderers and terrorists? Relax parents groups this won't harm your children, just like that bad Britney Spears song won't.

((The interruption prompted Comcast to offer a $10 discount to any customer who was impacted by the incident. ))

It would have been a D-bag move to charge everyone for that 30 second clip, I guess. Besides seeing a damn penis, was anyone really harmed by the incident? You can explain to the kids that it was merely an ad for “Male enhancement”.

It reminds me of the incident with Max Headroom incident when someone hacked into the feed of an old Dr. Who rerun.

Could this be the same person? Probably not.

I'm only mad it had to be a naked dude.

Anyway, this is probably the best free advertisement for Club Jenna and Tristan Kingsley ever!

What's Wrong with Joaquin Phoenix II?

Joaquin Phoenix is really taking this stunt to its fullest conclusion

David Letterman has some great moments here with the Fake Acting Phoenix. It’s fake, but still funny.

Letterman sets him up to make some awkward answers, and that's why Letterman is the best.

He supposedly doesn't even know what the clip is or anything about the movie. It's all BS, but I'll give him credit for this 'act'. This is better than Reality TV.

Christian Slater: Who knew?

Fun With Who’s dated who: Christian Slater Style

I was never a huge fan of Mr. Slater. He seemed to always put on his Jack Nicholson face on a bit too much for me. He has a few roles here and there that are pretty good; he just never did it for me.

Anyway, while checking out Who’s Dated Who, I came across this guy’s web page and I got a kick out some of the names attached to it. My first thought was, “This guy has a lot of range.” My second thought was, “This is the guy that did the movie Kuffs.”

Here are a few people on his dated list

In the ‘Win’ camp

Cassandra Hepburn: This woman is amazingly hot, but she gets a major strike for being a Scientologist.

Rachel Stevens: Early on in his career he was getting some nice women. I never though I’d say this, “I’m jealous of Mr. Slater”.

Marisa Tomei: Oh, come on! This woman is still Hot. He got date her too!

Rosie Perez: Back in her “White Men Can’t Jump” days, this is really starting to piss me off.

Courteney Cox: Are you serious. Isn’t there some type of law about how many good-looking women a dude can date? This is getting crazy.

Christina Applegate: Okay, this is Nucking Futs

Here is the ‘Lose’ camp

Winona Ryder: Yeah, this is that crazy woman that’s been caught twice stealing stuff from department stores. I bet she’s ‘lifted’ a few things out of Slater’s crib. If she’s stolen your junk, then you dump her butt.

Sharon Stone: She’d be in the ‘Win’ list if he had dated her in her Basic Instinct and Total Recall days. But, he dated her in her Basic Instinct II and Catwoman days. I’m sure he thought about the large amount of men (and women) that came before him. You never date the old slut.

Lindsay Lohan: I take that back about the old slut, he is better off dating Sharon Stone instead of Lohan.

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