One Missed Call

One Missed Call

One crap movie…

I’ve never thought they could come up with this concept. Cells phones kill people. There are killer cell phones really? This movie is based on the Japanese horror film Chakushin Ari.

Basically, a person receives a voice mail that tells their impending death. The doomed person begins to see ghosts before they die. The movie is a cross between Final Destination and The Ring, except with killer cell phones. It does neither of these concepts well.

So, how dumb is One Missed Call? At one point, a young lady is standing near a swimming pool and a zombie hand grabs her and sucks her into the swimming pool. It doesn’t end there, her cat sits by the pool confused and the zombie hand grabs the cat and sucks it into the pool too (?!).

For a film based on a Japanese horror film, there isn’t much gore or creepy scenes. The direction and acting ranges from bland to downright horrible. There doesn’t seem to be any effort put into the movie on any level. How can a movie be so bad and bland at the same time?

Yet, there is something in this movie that is both confusing and scary. Margaret Cho as a police detective. I like a great deal of Cho’s older stand up shows, but her acting has deteriorated over time. Compare her acting in Face/Off to this movie. Her character brings nothing to the movie, and I have to wonder if someone just gave her a job here as friend.

Edward Burns and Shannyn Sossamon have as much chemistry as a block of wood has with a cup of water. The only bright spot is the character that Ray Wise plays. His character is a cross between American’s Most Wanted guy and Unsolved Mysteries.

With poor acting and suspenseful scenes, this PG-13 horror flick has nothing to offer to anyone. Unless, the concepts of killer cell phones or ill-conceived death scenes are your thing, then this movie is for you. Otherwise, don’t even bother with this J-horror remake.

Hang up on this movie.

Grade: D-

~Boost Mobile must have paid a lot of money to actually get to promote their pricing plan in the damn movie. I didn’t know I’d get a Boost Mobile ad in the middle of the damn movie.

Raspy voice: “Hello, Sidney. What’s your favorite scary movie?”

It’s certainly not this one.

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With unlimited texting and free weekends, I can talk to my evil demon girl any time!