The Happening

The Happening

Shyamalan, you screwed up big time.

Killer wind/plants, really? Was this supposed to be funny? If so, how funny is a big budgeted snuff-movie supposed to be?

Before I rip into this movie, there are many intense moments in the story. Some moments are executed extremely well. The opening in Central Park and the construction site are down right horrifying. When it comes to displaying some uneasy scenes, Shyamalan has some skills in that department. It’s just too bad he can’t seem to direct his actors or write better dialogue.

Let’s start with the acting first. Marky-Mark Wahlberg’s performance is so atrocious that I laughed out loud at some of his line deliveries. Because Shyamalan likes to overuse close-ups in his scenes, we get good number of scenes with Marky-Mark staring into the screen with the dumbest expressions, all this with Shyamalan shoving the camera up his nose.

And, pretty much the rest of the cast follows Marky-Mark’s lead. I don’t know what they were trying go for here. It isn’t campy, because it is just plain bad acting.

Then there is the major issue with the writing. It’s like Sham-hammer decided to go all out goofy without realizing it. Wahlberg’s lines are all ridiculous. He tends to write Marky’s dialogue as child, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be a science teacher. The dialogue is so stilted you will laugh at some of the exchanges between characters.

Here’s a fine example of his work,

Elliot Moore: If we're going to die, I want you to know something. I was in the pharmacy a while ago. There was a really good-looking pharmacist behind the counter. Really good-looking. I went up and asked her where the cough syrup was. I didn't even have a cough, and I almost bought it. I'm talking about a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup, which costs like six bucks.

Alma Moore: Are you joking?

[Elliot nods his head]

Alma Moore: Thank you.

Then there are certain scenes that are so goofy and over the top that I almost turned off the DVD player and thrown the DVD player out the window. The lawnmower or lion scenes are so dumb I felt like a five year old wrote them. These scenes are just plain asinine. Someone from the studio needed to stand up to Shyamalan, but this is FOX we’re talking about.

There are a few good points about the movie.

- James Newton Howard’s score is truly amazing. It’s a full score with some sweeping moments. The score just deserved a better movie. I think all of Howard’s scores to M. Night Shyamalan’s movies are just remarkable.

-The actual beginnings of effects of the ‘Happening’ were pretty scary.

-Some of the suicides were creative.

-Uh, it was in color.

Even though Sham-hammer tried to say that The Happening was intended to be a B movie, there is too much on screen that proves otherwise. He wanted this to be an important movie with a very special message, but everything comes across heavy-handed.

The only way I can recommend this film is if you want a good laugh.

Grade: D+

John Leguizamo: “Hello? Is this my agent? I want you to get me out of this f’ing movie? I’ll do The Pest II or Super Mario Brothers II over this crap.”

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Marky-Mark: “Great, I see Max Payne and another rap album coming up in my future. The future has never been brighter.”

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She’d rather kill herself than listen to another Jessica Simpson country song.

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Marky-Mark: “Even with the world ending, we can still listen to Loveline!”