The Hall Monitor: The world's most useless behind the bathroom attendant

The Hall Monitor: The world's most useless behind the bathroom attendant

Who monitors the Hall Monitors?

From Wiki, ((A hall monitor is a student volunteer in American schools who is charged with maintaining order in the school's corridors. They may be either students who are chosen for the position because they are responsible, or that may be chosen on a rota from all available students. (A dorm monitor, similarly, is a student or teacher volunteer in schools who is charged with maintaining order in a school's dormitories, i.e. making sure children are in bed asleep and not disturbing others). ))

I got into a discussion at work about hall monitors and my dislike of them. What kind of kid desires to stand around a hallway and yell at their fellow classmates? That won't make you popular with the cool kids. I'm guessing these are the egghead kids that got the set of Crayola Crayons 64 packs with the crayon sharpener.

Like I am today, I was an asshole when I was a child. The hall monitor would tell me to stop running in the halls and I'd cuss them out and continue to run.

I have to hand it to the schools. They are basically getting free child labor to keep their student population in line without paying teachers and others. It is like prisoners being their own prison guards.

Positives of being a Hall Monitor

-You get a spiffy vest/ribbon thingy

-Uh, did I mention the vest/ribbon thingy?

Negatives of being a Hall Monitor

-The vest/ribbon clashes with everything and singles you out for being a complete douche. 

-You don’t get paid.  Why do it when everyone will hate you?  Plus, you’ll probably grow up to be one of those cops that pulls people over for chicken-shit tickets.

-You get a stinking badge that means nothing.   

For farts and giggles, I want to play around with one of the Wiki-How pages on How to Hall Monitor.  http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Great-Hall-Monitor

Don't let the power get to your head:  That’s the whole.  In your mind, you are the god of that Hallway.  You’re like a young little TSA guard. 

Don't break the rules:  Since you’re not getting paid, the whole point is to break the rules.  It’s like seeing all those cop cars that race through the highway at 85 mph.  If you have to wear that dorky vest, you have to have some perks. 

Stay Organized:  Uh, sure. 

Don't give your friends a life or two: What if I have a couple of 1-Ups mushrooms in my pockets? The whole point of being in a position of power is to throw a few bones to your friends.

Know when and where to write them up: Then have them grease your palms with some favors or some cash.

Let your classmates hear you loud and clear: By shouting out random movie quotes