Thursday, January 31, 2008

Rush Hour 3

Shrek III all over again...

Rush Hour 3

Not only is this movie boring, it isn’t that funny either. It certainly has followed the Beverly Hills Cop series to a 'T'. Think of this movie as Beverly Hills Cop 3 in France.

One thing is almost always guaranteed in franchises, the movie franchise will usually suck by the third movie. We can see this with Return of the Jedi and the Superman III movies. By the third movie, the people that make the movie start to play it safe.

Rush Hour 3 is not only a ‘safe’ movie, but it is also a needless sequel to the first two movies. Coming off his successful, yet flawed, X3, Brett Ratner decided to fall back into his recycled action comedy franchise. Ratner's direction is dull as ever. He's not even concerned that the script needs a bit of work. (A few more rewrites)

The plot is tired. It is the same damn movie as the first two. They even throw in a corrupt white guy that is in league with the Asian villains. This time they just throw the movie into France. I have nothing against France, but the Rush Hour movies are better suited for Hong Kong and the US. The lazy, ugly American jokes in comedies are lame now, so get over it. The plot is so loose that the entire plot structure of the film will fall apart if you think about it. Like Shrek 3, this feels like some business people got a hold of the story.

Yeah, the movie is tired, but Chris Tucker looks tired too. Early in development, the producers couldn’t get Tucker signed on to do part 3. Jackie Chan made public statements about Tucker’s behavior. Tucker wouldn’t return without a hefty paycheck. He got one: 20 million for his role. I’m sorry, but he looks bored and not into the film. This is not the same Chris Tucker from the first Rush Hour, 5th Element, and Friday. He leaves Jackie Chan to do all the work. Trucker’s character brings nothing to the film, nothing. He is here to collect a check and nothing more.

A few things work in the movie though.

~The who’s on first joke is amusing, even though it was spoiled in the trailers

~While too short, the car chase is fun. (It should have lasted longer.)

~The Dojo stuff was funny with the tall Chinese guy.

~Jackie Chan

Grade: D+

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Wire Season Openings


As you already know, I love the TV show The Wire (on HBO). One of the things I always liked about the show was the fact they would change the artist singing the theme song in the opening of each season. It's the same song, but with different versions of the song. “Help me keep the Devil down in the hole.”

Check out this blog post to watch all the intro songs from all the seasons.

I really like the Tom Waits version the best (the original).

Duffle Bags and DJs

Lil Wayne seems more than a ‘lil’ pissed

After all the drug charges, it is no surprise that he wasn’t in a good mood. I’m sure how smart it is to have a song about “Duffle Bag Boys”, when you consider that the song is about drugs.

He makes a big dis toward his DJ (Cortez Bryant) and even throws his jacket at him! Hey, it’s better than throwing cell phones or teenage audience members at people, right? Maybe, he was giving his DJ a gift…a used jacket.

MTV News has further details...

((Wayne hit the stage more than three hours late for the sold-out gig, according to the Richmond Times-Dispatch, strolling out just before midnight after promoters said his private plane was delayed leaving Arizona and had to be rerouted.

The 3,500 fans sat through several hours of what the paper described as "middling rappers, radio station DJs spinning popular urban tunes and hosts Fat Kat and Honey B, who basically kept telling the audience to 'Make some noiiiiiiiiiise.' " ))

I would have sat through 3 hours to see a disjointed rapper talk shit about his crew live on stage. Really though, I don’t know what to say. He didn’t cancel and did everything possible to show up for the concert. But, he didn’t put in a good performance either. Waiting 3 hours is a lot of time.

Btw, here's a definition of the term Duffle Bag Boy

((Referring to an individual whom sells and distributes products, most commonly drugs, with the transaction taking place through the use of a brown paper bag. Money is exchanged with the product within the bag and given back to the individual making the sale.))

Monday, January 28, 2008

Stacy Hedger: Found! (Don't tell the Empire)

Someone found Stacy Hedger!

http://blogs.pitch.com/plog/2007/10/stacy_hedger_revealed.php

Someone did their homework and got an interview with Hedger. She has no idea how the video got on the Internet. Listen to the interview on the site.

Today, she’s married with some kids. Her family gets a kick out her fame

Here is the disturbing video of the incident. (Though, it is far more entertaining than the Return of the Jedi's Ewoks's song)

This Board has some info on her as well.

Taken from a poster: (("Star Wars Trumpet Stacy Hedger.
I work in TV Sports, this tape has circulated amongst our tape rooms for years, I figured it was only natural to be on YouTube. I'm of the understanding it was a statewide beauty pagaent, and Stacy is Miss Douglas County. I have no idea who she is, or if she even knew there was a talent portion of the contest.
It's believed that the tape has origins in the Kansas City area, and I thought it was a Nebraska beauty pageant." ))

Being a former band player, I cringe every time I hear her play. But, it’s interesting to hear her talk about her Internet fame.

BTW, I always hated that Disco version of the Star Wars song. What was Lucas thinking?

Random Bits

Random Bits

~Honk if you hate Scientology: Man, I love these guys. BTW, one guy has a train horn on his SUV. One of the Scientology guys comes out and takes pictures of the people. You better believe these people will be looked into by the church. (rumors are they were followed too.)

~Yep, Meet the Spartans was number one this weekend with $18 million. I'm as mad about it as anyone else. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the makers of this film, should be forced into retirement. They're responsible for “Date Movie” and “Epic Movie”. Yeah, I know someone that will freely admit to liking these movies, and I get on him about. Please stop going out and seeing these movies. They'll only make more. Keep this in mind, these movies are cheap to make and they can make them fast.

~I've been in a kind of depressed state pretty much since Thurs. I think it has to do with my job and the fact I'm not happy there. I'm trying my best to get out of this funk before it gets worst.

~I was in Blockbusters and this father kept trying to get his kid to get a Veggie Tales DVD. The kid seemed more interested in getting a Tom Clancy videogame instead. I started thinking about what kids are watching today as entertainment. They're watching crap like Veggie Tales. What happened to big f'ing robots and Cobra Commander? TMNT?

The Golden Raspberry Awards

I’ve always liked The Golden Raspberry Awards. And, one thing is always certain, there will always be bad movies for them to pick from. Last year was an extremely bad year for movies. (I say that every year.)

It was the year of Norbit. Part of me really enjoys ripping apart bad movies, but some are just painful to watch like Ghost Rider.

Taken from Filmjunk, here are a few nominations worth noting.

Worst Picture
Bratz
Daddy Day Camp
I Know Who Killed Me
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Norbit

I’m going with Norbit because that is just one bad movie. I’m sure Daddy Day Camp could win it, but I think people haven’t forgiven Murphy for Norbit.

Worst Actor
Nicolas Cage (Ghost Rider, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Next)
Jim Carrey (The Number 23)
Cuba Gooding, Jr. (Daddy Day Camp, Norbit)
Eddie Murphy (Norbit)
Adam Sandler (I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)

Nicolas Cage deserves it, but I’m guessing Cuba or Eddie will get the honors this year. Cuba should get it just for doing those MJ underwear ads.

Worst Actress
Jessica Alba (Awake, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Good Luck Chuck)
Logan Browning, Janel Parrish, Nathalia Ramos & Skyler Shaye (Bratz)
Elisha Cuthbert (Captivity)
Diane Keaton (Because I Said So)
Lindsay Lohan (I Know Who Killed Me)

It is a fight between Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan. I think all the media backlash will help Lohan win, but Alba is the one that seems to really need it. That girl can’t act, and Fantastic Four II proves it. I’d like to see Elisha Cuthbert win it because she comes across as a pretentious jerk.

Worst Prequel or Sequel
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
Daddy Day Camp
Evan Almighty
Hannibal Rising
Hostel: Part II

What, no Halloween Rob Zombie remake on the list? I pick Evan Almighty all the way.

Worst Director
Dennis Dugan (I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)
Roland Joffe (Captivity)
Brian Robbins (Norbit)
Fred Savage (Daddy Day Camp)
Chris Siverston (I Know Who Killed Me)

Fred Savage should win this one. I hope he does. Then he can bring Wendy Cooper with him to accept his award.

_____________________________________________Haven't seen it yet.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Shrek the Third

Shrek the Third

It’s not really that funny.

Shrek 3 isn’t very funny or entertaining. It’s not even a bad movie, it’s just boring. While the other two movies tried to give us some adult humor, with Dreamworks ripping Disney a new one in both movies, Shrek 3 simply doesn’t bother to be funny. I probably laughed three times during the entire time.

The allure and humor of the first two films are gone in Shrek 3.

So, who is to blame for this movie? It’s the screenwriters. The script is the reason this movie doesn’t work. The story is like that cheap soda you buy from a knock-off brand: it taste bland and doesn’t have that kick that the real sodas have. The jokes feel incomplete and dry.

As I watched the movie, I came up with better jokes and storyline progressions than the actual movie. There was an ENTIRE subplot about King Arthur and his misadventures in high school cut from the film. Check the DVD for some very good deleted scenes that should have been left into the story. I found these scenes far more interesting than what the producers left in.

I’ve always said that a franchise has ‘Jumped the Shark’ when they introduce motherhood and babies. Sadly, this movie has both as a side plot. I found myself not caring that Shrek found himself burdened with childhood.

With the exception of Justin Timberlake, most of the voice acting is still good. There is no reason Timberlake to have in the movie, because he weakens the film with his girly voice. I’m guessing someone in marketing decided it would be a good idea to cross-promote the movie with the growing popularity of Timberlake.

The movie has its heart in the right place. But, it just feels like some marketing and business people got a hold of the story and diluted it. When the merchandising folks are more important than the story, you’ve got major issues.

The first two films are good parodies of the Disney Company, but the third movie just doesn’t have that same vibe. And, don’t get me started on the singing frogs. Was that supposed to be funny?

Dreamworks is squeezing this franchise dry with all the cross-promotional material and they don’t seem to care. (Shrek 4 and 5 are coming out too.)

As a fan of the first two movies, please stop making these…

Grade: C-

__________________________________________I like Justin's music, but he should stick to music and music videos

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Sam (video profile/viral marketing)

Did this guy pull one over on us?

http://myspace.com/perfectprofile

It looks like Sam’s whole dating profile video was a viral marketing thing for his creepy short film. Go to his Myspace and check out his creepy movie. I mean WTF? I’ll give him some points for the direction in his film, and the actress was good too. I just have to wonder how much of this creepy side is part of his personality.

BTW, I loved this comment left on his blog.

((Face it, your going to be saying: "Table for one!" for the rest of your life. The only thing that sticks out about you is your blinding paleness.))

Make sure to read his profile too.

Table for one: the single most depressing three words in the universe.

Internet dating

The reason Internet dating is bad…

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/video/worst-dating-videos?src=rss

I don’t go to bars or drink alcohol, but I can see why people look for that special someone in those locations, in their drunken, hazed, beer goggles. We tend to forget the annoying parts of courting someone when they can barely keep from falling on their face. But, Internet video dating profiles gives you all you need to know without the alcohol.

Check out the video profiles of these people seeking a loved one.

I will put my two-cents in.

Sam: This guy really needs some sunlight. At first, I thought the movie character Powder was doing a profile. Note to Sam: Limiting your prospects to redheads limits your options. Change it to; I’ll take anything that comes my way.

Chandelier: I found her somewhat cute, but a bit demanding. She has a problem with a guy’s black shoes? You don know that shoes aren’t genetically attached to men’s feet. They can be removed like anything else he’s wearing. Chandelier, I have no black shoes and I barely use my cell phone, call me (that is if I answer it).

Asshole: Is that really your name? Rapping a profile isn’t considered cool. Leave it to people who can rap. The profile name says it all.

Alice Wang: Her friends do all the talking. I half expected the Cloverfield monster to show up and start smashing things. This could be a wonderful opening to Cloverfield II.

Danny: No comment. He might come after me. Note to potential dates: If he has a shovel, duck tape and a cam, don’t get in the car!

(UPDATE: Looks like someone from the Alice Wang camp removed their video.)

NYPD: Backside

Didn’t NYPD Blue end like years ago?

http://www.p2pnet.net/story/14788

Doesn’t the FCC have anything else better to do other than go after a 2003 episode of NYPD Blue? Apparently not…

((Now a 2003 episode of Disney’s NYPD Blue which flashed a woman’s nude bum could cost the company’s ABC network $1.4 million.))

This is Disney we’re talking about they use 1.4 million on toilet paper.

But still…

((The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) said it wants, “$27,500 for each of 52 stations in the Central and Mountain time zones that aired the scene in the 9 to 10 p.m. time slot in violation of federal restrictions against broadcasting ‘obscene material’ between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m))

Showing a woman’s bare ass is considered obscene, really? I personally think more shows need more bare backsides. (Female kind). (BTW, PG13 movies will show some nudity from time to time.)

Call me a dirt young (old) man, but I simply don’t see the problem here. Trust me, a young kid’s head won’t explode because he saw a woman’s bare butt. And if he has the Internet, he’s seen far worst…like things involving girls and a cup and Spring Thomas.

We have this thing about allowing extreme violence on TV, but we have major problems with a woman showing her boobs or backside. As far as I know, pair of boobs has never hurt anyone, other than Tara Reid.

Check out the hot Jacquline Obradors doing things hot.

The Networks are wondering why ratings are down...

Friday, January 25, 2008

Warrior needs to shut up.

The Ultimate Warrior needs to STFU

http://www.tmz.com/2008/01/24/ultimate-warrior-hulk-should-do-himself-in/

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=40169

Comment: What is this guy smoking? I mean, what is he pumping into his brain to make him say these statements?

((Referring to the 28-year-old – who died on Tuesday following a suspected drug overdose – as “Leather Ledger” - Warrior claims that The Dark Knight star had a "negative influence" on his daughter, Matilda Rose, with whom he shares with ex fiancĂ©e and actress Michelle Williams.))

Listen, I wasn’t the biggest fan of some of the roles Ledger took, but I never got the impression that he was ever a bad person and a negative influence on his daughter.

The Warrior also goes after Hulk Hogan…

Let’s talk about the Ultimate Warrior for a second. For a while, WWE (WWF) wanted to replace the hero character of Hogan with Ultimate Warrior, but his character never caught on really. And, Hogan continued to be a major marketing force in WWE and WCW.

((Hogan, on the other hand, won’t go quite that far,” he adds. “He insists on sticking around to keep further ruining, and profiting off of, the parentally mismanaged lives of his own children.))

What? Okay, I don’t like Hogan’s wife or his son, but this is a bit extreme. The family did agree on appearing on the show. Besides, the Hogan show was one of the most scripted reality shows since The Simple Life.

So, please, Ultimate Warrior, sit down and shut up.

Side note: Check out the Legal threats that the Warrior sent toward Something Awful. They’re very funny. (I posted this before.)

The Ultimate Warrior just realized he sat in a ‘bowl of fire ants’.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Resident Evil: Extinction

Resident Evil: Extinction

(I like the Resident Evil VG series, while not as well written as the Silent Hill series, I’ve enjoyed the games. The series an interconnecting story that is strong. The first movie could have easily fit into the videogame series, while the second film is a retelling of RE2 and RE3. But this new movie…)

While not exactly terrible, this movie isn’t as good as the other Resident Evil (RE) films. Set a few years after the first film, the setting of the movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. The zombie virus has taken over all the world’s civilizations. And for some reason, the water has dried up, leaving a desert land across the planet. (It is never explained why that is, nor does the film care to explain it.) A few survivors have banded together to survive and fight off the zombies. The movie strays far beyond its videogame roots.

Director Russell Mulcahy does an okay job with the action stuff, but has a harder time with the acting stuff more so than Paul W.S. Anderson, who is the writer of the third film. He certainly comes from the same school of directing style as Anderson, but he is lacking in areas that Anderson doesn’t. I’m not giving Anderson that much credit.

The main problem is with the story setting. Isn’t a town full a zombies enough of a bleak setting? Do we need a planet full of zombies? The end of the world storyline has been done to death (pun intended) already. I personally would have written it in a jungle in South America, having Milla Jovovich fighting off zombies from taking over village after village, with the Umbrella Corp not too far behind. When you think about it, this post-apocalyptic story could have been dropped altogether with the core of the story intact.

Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, and Mike Epps have all returned. Jovovich is hot as ever and does a good job kicking ass. I also like the sci-fi concept they have involving her. The rest of the cast is forgettable, but very attractive.

The CGI ranges from poor to okay. You can see better FX shots in the actual videogame series. There are exceptions. Without giving away a major plot point, there is an impressive shot of a mass-grave involving CGI that I thought was pretty good.

One shot that is annoying is a transition shot with computer graphics showing a map of an underground base, switching to a live set. It happens three or four times in the movie, and it is very annoying. The music in each of the transition scenes is horrible. Actually, the musical score is the worst thing about the movie. It is a poor mixture of European techno and bad America rock music.

The movie does have some impressive action scenes with Milla Jovovich and gang ripping apart zombies. You can’t go wrong with an attractive chick cutting zombies in half. You just can’t. Plus, the crow scene was fun too. But, that’s not enough to save this film.

Because it strays far from the RE videogame roots, the movie will leave a bad taste in the mouths of the hardcore RE fans. And, they should be mad. The dreadful setting and music hurt the film, as well as the sloppy story. The movie falls flat on its face like a fat kid falling over his own shoes to get to the buffet.

Grade: C-

Yes, the motorcycle breaking in half was really stupid…

__________________________________________________________Hot chicks with cool weapons? I can't wait for the end of the world! Count me in!
______________________________________________________
Kenny Rogers, there comes a point when you need to stop having face-lifts.
_________________________________________
Uh, that chick from Heroes is in the movie...minus the multiple personalties and super powers
Rule 1: Never argue or piss off a woman with knives that big.

videos

Here are a few videos that caught my eye.

Soulja Boy done by Save by the Bell (?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnC3QlVPzzA

Was the show really full of so many dorks? I can't believe people liked this show. I heard the show is coming back. Is this true? Anyway, I liked this one for about the first 2 mins

Wiggles - Humpty Dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMx_0T9cPAU&feature=related

Okay, this one is brilliant. I can't believe how well this one fits with song. You have to see this video. Those were some tight moves by the Wiggles. I have to learn them. Straight gangsta mack!

Crank That Kosha Boy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oYDBtCN-hk

What in the hell?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Random Bits

Random Bits

~Do you want to see the Scientology orientation film? Sure you do. Man, this is major brainwashing. Check out the really bad music. I could only get through about 8 minutes of it.

~People are claiming these are the last pictures of Heath Ledger alive. He does look sick in these photos. Note the picture where he collapses.

~What is wrong with some of these rappers? Now Lil’ Wayne has been charged with possession of cocaine. What heck is going on here?

~Double Viking has a list of the hottest non-nude scenes in Hollywood. It is good to see Salma Hayek being mentioned from Dogma. But, what about that sexy scene she did in From Dusk Till Dawn? Wasn't the scene in Dogma a parody of that scene?

~I watched some of the extended scenes from the first Fantastic Four movie on FX. Those scenes should have stayed in. Johnny Storm and The Thing have larger parts in the extended cut.

My Britney Spears' rant

Text Messaging : This seems to be a new trend among Celebs now. Try to look like someone is constantly talking to you through texting.
_____________________________________________

I just thought this Britney Spears story about the dude she’s hanging out with is going through some marriage problems is humorous. She just seems to ruin everyone around her by proxy.

http://music.aol.com/news/story/_a/wife-of-spears-paparazzi-pal-separates/20080123064309990001

Adnan Ghalib makes many stupid statements about Britney that seem more confusing than enlightening.

(("A lot of people perceive to know or understand her, she's the most photographed woman in the world," Ghalib said. "But if you take time to scratch the surface, then you can understand how amazing she is."))

So, you’re saying there is more to her than being a bad mother and bad singer? The woman locked herself in her room and had to be taken to the hospital. Then she is off shopping and eating the next day like it never happened.

Motherhood is an important thing in a woman’s life, but this woman shows no signs wanting her kids back, but is actively trying to get knocked up. Isn’t her two kids enough for her?

Remember, abusive parents come from abusive situations from their past. There is a psychological cycle to abuse. Her parents were worthless folks, and she has become that person herself. How much do you want to bet they turn up a mess like her? (I know, K-Fed isn’t any better either.)

We as a society need to stop bad mothers from making more babies and destroying the lives of their children. I’m all for smaller government, but there are times when the government does need to ‘butt in’. Abusive parents shouldn’t be able to keep their kids and have more to replace the ones that are taken away. If we see abuse, report it.

For the behavior she pulled with the cop being called to her house, she needs to be in a metal hospital for observation.

I’m off my extremely tall horse now.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Heath Ledger dead

Heath Ledger found dead…

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/22/movies/23cnd-ledger.html?ref=nyregion

This is shocking news.

((The police said Mr. Ledger, 28, was discovered facedown in bed in an apartment at 421 Broome Street in SoHo. Police officials said that a bottle of prescription sleeping pills were found on a nearby night table, but that they did not know whether they played a role in Mr. Ledger’s death.))

He was 28 years old. Too young. BTW, Heath Ledger’s Wiki page has been changed to note his death.

What does this mean for the editing of the new Batman movie The Dark Knight? I’m not sure, but everyone will be watching how Christopher Nolan and WB react to this news.

RIP, Heath.

Word

I like chicks…

http://mayren.blogspot.com/2008/01/chickipedia-dot-com.html

Head over to Mayren’s blog and check out ‘chickipedia’. I’ve already fallen in love with the site because there are no dudes. Each chick has her own page of info.

BTW, if you can name the chick in the photo above, you’re a sick SOB like me…

Monday, January 21, 2008

Road House (my first time)

Dirty Dancing III: This time it's personal

Road House (my first time)

http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Road_House_1989.aspx

The folks over at The Agony Booth did a great review on Road House, a movie I have never seen in my entire life, so I thought I’d give this movie a chance. I laughed a great deal at Albert Walker’s review of this man’s man movie that I had to rent it.

Since the site above did an extensive review of this movie, I decided to do a completely different type of look at this film.

I just feel manlier after watching this movie.

~Patrick Swayze’s hair has a life of its own in this damn movie. I mean for a man who is supposed to be a rugged bar fighting-guy, he certainly cares about his hair a little bit too much. Most people in his position will would simply keep their hair short, so no one would grab it or pull it. To get his hair that fluffy, he has to spend hours getting it fixed up.

~When I saw Kevin Tighe on the screen, I half expected him to throw someone out a window (Locke style) or get chocked by a pissed off con man with some old chains in a ancient slave ship. (Sawyer)

~The woman who gets kicked in the crotch at the beginning is popular stuntwoman Patricia Tallman. You see her face for about five seconds. Yeah, she the woman that’s been in a number of Sci-fi shows. Babylon 5 and Star Trek spin offs. (she’s unaccredited)

~There’s a ton of male/female nudity in this movie. I mean there’s just as much male nudity as there is female nudity. By the way, did we really need a close up of Swayze’s ass? We then got a clip the nerdy girl gushing over his bare ass a few seconds later. Don’t get me started with Sam Elliott pulling down his pants in one scene.

~Listen to Kevin Smith’s commentary on the Road House DVD. You’ll get a kick out of them ragging on the film. I love Kevin Smith’s commentaries.

~Chris Latta is the fat guy who offers anyone to feel his wife’s breasts for 20 dollars. Latta was the voice of Cobra Commander and many other cartoon characters. (He was also on Star Trek TNG for a few guess spots).

~The name Brad Wesley just doesn’t seem to put fear in my heart. Brad doesn’t sound like a menacing name. Brad sounds like that dork that’s going out with the girl of your dreams and not the main villain in the film. Then there’s the last name Wesley…

~The lines are so bad that they’re funny. The acting by Mr. Swayze is horrible but in a Chuck Norris sort of way good.

~I have to learn how to pull people’s throats out of their necks like Swayze does in this movie. He uses his bare hands.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

When Star Wars fanboys attack…

(Note: I love Star Wars more than anything else in life. It shaped the way I view movies and the way I write in ways I can't even fathom, but a certain portion of the Fan Base annoys me. Here is one reason why.)

When Star Wars fanboys attack…

http://rantocracy.blogspot.com/2007/06/now-i-understand-star-wars-fans.html

I mentioned an encounter with a fanboy in The Samuri Frog’s SW post and the good MC found the post I was talking about. (Thank you, Matt. I was too lazy to find it.)

MC came up with an interesting point about SW (and Fans) and the hate they have for certain aspects of their material. Anyway, a pissed off Star Wars fanboy came in and made some very sarcastic remarks about MC’s post.

Read his comments below…

((Don't you worry about Star Wars fans, nor pat yourself on the back about your apparent understanding. What the writer of that article was largely doing was taking the piss. Star Wars fans love Star Wars, and that's about it. But, as someone who spends more than just a passing thought on Star Wars, a fan knows that there are things that could have been stronger-- and scenes, storylines, characters, and prequels that could have been filmed or imagined better. Anyone who spends some time analyzing something they are a fan of ultimately comes to the same conclusion.
Or do you blindly and unquestioningly love every aspect of that which *you* are a fan? I should think not.))

You see fanboyman came across a little bit too condescending for my taste. But what really sent me over the edge was his “Don’t worry about Star Wars fans” remark. That just rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t even get what the hell the point he was making in his argument. The comment dripped with sarcasm goo.

So, I attacked Mr. Fanboyman, calling him George Lucas.

He got pissed…a little

((I think you are quite naive if you don't see venom and/or derision implied in the original post itself, Semaj. "If you can't take the heat..."))

Did you read that small threat?

What exactly would a Star Wars fanboy do? Would he get his SW buddies to attack me with their fake plastic light-sabers?

So, here was my response to his threat.

((What Venom in the original post? I just re-read it.
Maybe we're seeing two different things in the post. I see nothing of the sort. How is that being Naive?
Listen, Mr. Lucas, I respect most of your work except for the Ewoks and Jar-jar... and Howard the Duck, so I'm not going to argue with you here, because this is MC's blog.
"If you can't take the heat..."
If I had a penny every time I heard this saying, I'd have two pennies.))

I love it when a rebuttal comes together.

BTW, Re-shoots are in order for the much delayed Fanboys movie.
______________________________________________
Great, he called in reinforcements. I'm in trouble now.

Random Thoughts (baby Thoughts)

I'm not a 'baby' person.

Random Thoughts

~Still the best song from Parappa the Rapper 2: Toast the buns and cook the patties and melt the cheese and French the fries. (Note the 'My buns are very toasty')

~I was in the mall with my friend with his baby child. We walked around the mall, while he held the baby. I wanted a pretzel hotdog, so we stopped at the pretzel shop. I stood in line while my friend held his baby. The next thing I knew, a very attractive black woman came up to us and started admiring the baby. I mean she was all into the baby. She talked to my friend and baby, but ignored me. Hey, I’m cute too, I just don’t poop in my pants when I damn well please.

After we left the shop, my friend looked over to me and said, “Don’t you want to hold the baby now?” He said it with a grin.

I came to the realization that she would have never even looked our way without the baby. For some reason, women flock to the guy with the baby. I’ll probably have to rent his child and go out on a hot babe spree, and try to get some numbers.

By the way, the pretzel hotdog was good.

~10 signs you’ll get lucky: Okay, I’m printing this page out right now. I would add having a baby in your arms to the list.

~I’ve been listening to the Bourne Identity soundtrack. I have to say that it’s been growing on me. Sometimes the techno stuff does hurt the music, but it is not that bad. It does have a bit of that Hans Zimmer feel to, given that John Powell was in Zimmer’s camp for a while. (Media Ventures and Remote Control) I do like the strings in the score with the mix of dance beat. You can read more here about him.

~The Samurai Frog is a far better writer than I, and he puts a great deal of thought into his posts. For the most part, he and I see things in completely different ways and I do disagree with many of his points of view. But, I’ve come to respect his views, because he makes some sound arguments. One such post is about his thoughts about the overall universe of Star Wars, Lucas and the SW fanboys.

I promise there aren’t any bare boobs in that post.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Cloverfield

Cloverfield

It is about a big f’ing monster that rips the crap out of New York.

Well, that is basic idea behind the movie. All filmed from one camera, the movie has a lot of down right creepy moments and some scenes are very disturbing. Style is definitely the master here.

While there are some major flaws with the movie, you can’t fault it for its original idea. The movie focuses on a group of characters trying to rescue a friend and get out of the city. Everything else happens behind the scenes until they get caught in between the chaos.

As I stated above, you get to see this big event happen from just some average people’s point of view. And, that’s what makes this movie stand out from many of the large monster/disaster movies from before. The single-handheld camera point of view does a masterful job of getting us to care about these people. Believe me, these people go through hell.

Rob Hawkins, at first, comes across as an annoying hipster douche bag. (It is actually mentioned in the movie!) However, once the shit hits the fan, he becomes a guy we want to cheer for. I began to like him for his show of humanity. We get to see how he handles himself when the attack hits him on a personal level. These moments are just magnificent. Unknown actor Michael Stahl-David should get some credit for downplaying some of the more extreme moments in the film. He could have easily gone over-the-top with his performance.

Even though I liked Rob, the person that just steals the movie is the very guy that has very little face time in front of the camera. That’s the guy behind the camera Hud Platt. Hud is the guy that brings up funny remarks when there are intense scenes. He’s the best friend that drinks a lot and tells your personal business when your not around. T.J. Miller is great as Hud and you’ll love his little remarks throughout the film. He certainly has his own arc and heartbreaking moment. I mean I really felt for him when that shocking scene happens to someone he knows.

The actual attack is shown not only from Hud’s point of view, but from a few news reports. And, one news report shows us our first glimpse at the parasite creatures. I loved the whole parasite subplot. Their introduction is probably one of the better scenes in the movie.

As far as the main monster goes, he’s big and rips apart the damn city. He’s pissed off and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. All his attack scenes are incredible and terrifying at the same time. You get glimpses of him early, but you will see him in all his glory later on. He’s still no Godzilla, but better than the revamped Godzilla from that 90s film.

While I enjoyed most of the movie, there are a few things that bugged me. I felt a little uneasy at the beginning thanks to the shaky camera movements. These movements can make you sick if you don’t have a strong stomach, but I got use to it. The lack of a musical score does seem to hurt the overall experience. I just felt it was another element that would have helped the atmosphere. The ending is rather weak too. It ends too abruptly for my taste. Plus, I would have liked to have seen more of the parasites and the big monster.

For a movie that tries to do something different in this age of recycled horror and chick-flick clones, I’ll give this movie a lot of credit. There are some truly chilling moments that will remind you of 9/11. And, there are some great character and creep-out scenes thrown in for good measure. Just don’t go in thinking this will be the best movie in the world. But, I still loved the movie.

Grade: B

Thursday, January 17, 2008

X-Files

New X-Files the movie II photos

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=41035

As you probably already are aware, there is another X-Files movie coming out this July. I’ve stated before that I enjoyed the X-Files movie. I’ve come to enjoy it even more recently, so news of another movie just pleases me. Check the link out above for more.

I have to say Gillian Anderson looks great in the photos. She looks better than she did on the show. David Duchovny has had great career for the past few years, so he really didn’t need to return for the movie, but he did. And I respect him for that. (BTW, he’s been playing a lot of writer characters lately.)

Eddie Murphy again

Eddie Murphy: New Wife, New Wedding and New Divorce!

I guess she gave him a two weeks notice.

((Comic actor Eddie Murphy and his new wife Tracey Edmonds have split up just two weeks after their romantic wedding in French Polynesia, People magazine reported on Wednesday.))

Man, Eddie, that’s a quick turnaround. This could very well be a good script for your next movie. However, were they really married?

((Under U.S. law, the couple needed a ceremony on U.S. soil to make the marriage legal.))

Yep, I guess Eddie beat the bullet on this marriage. Listen, If I was Eddie, I’d never get married again. Why do that when you’re Eddie Murphy: The Star of Norbit? I would be in the clubs saying, “Hey, girl, I played that little dragon in Mulan and that Jackass in Shrek.”

The Simpsons Movie

The Simpsons Movie (A movie about a man and his pig!)

Boy, I love that Spider-pig. Spider-pig should get his own show, hell his own movie.

Watching this movie, I came to realize how much I used to enjoy the Simpsons’ TV show. For some weird reason, I stopped watching it. However, I pretty have given up on most network TV. I might have to do some catching up on the show through DVDs.

Let’s get this out of the way the movie is funny. Homer Simpson pretty much carries this movie on his shoulders, and it is basically his movie and his movie alone. There are some downright laugh-out-loud moments. Most of them come from Homer’s antics. The writers prove that again they can handle the bathroom humor and the intelligent humor with great skill.

The animation for this movie is amazing. I’ve never seen The Simpson characters look so bright and fluid. I wish the actual TV show would look this good. With a mixture of CGI and normal animation, you will enjoy simply watching the animation.

The voice work is very good and you’ll like the Tom Hanks cameo too, though the voice talent is always stellar.

The weakest part of the film is the actual ‘feel’ of the movie. Here is what I am saying; the movie doesn’t feel big enough to be a movie. The script has a very limited feel to it. It is no more than an extended TV episode to me. For some, that is okay. However, if you’re going to make a movie from a TV show, the story has to feel big enough that it couldn’t have been told in a two-part episode. Now, that’s not to say that the story was bad, because it wasn’t. It just needed a bigger score and feel.

As I said before, the movie is about Homer Simpson and with him dealing with his bad choices. Some of those choices will come back to bite him in the ass, literally. He does some things that rather reminded me of the father from Family Guy.

Hans Zimmer does a nice job with the score. It sounded different from the TV show. It certainly felt like a movie score. I think he was overlooked when people praised the movie.

Despite a few story structural flaws, I enjoyed the movie, and it made me laugh, while trying to have a nice social message about pollution.

Grade: B

A crowd of angry fans formed around David Chase’s house after the stupid season finale to The Sopranos ended.

________________________________________________

Is that Johnny Storm from FF?

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F'ing Spider-pig rules, yo.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts

~We've all talked to that annoying girl at the party that gets in your face and starts talking crap about nothing. This video sums up that encounter. However, what happens when you get in a relationship with that type of girl. This is what happens. The list is great.

~Last Saturday/Sunday morning, I was walking through the Highlands of Louisville. I generally like to watch the drunken people stumble along the sidewalks as I listen to my mp3 player. Well, some guy with a gas can came strolling up to me. “Hey, man, can’t I get some cash? My car run out of gas.” I shook my head and lied to him saying that I didn’t have any money. Yeah, it was a lie, but I just didn’t trust him. Here’s why: If you didn’t have any money, why would you leave the house without gas in your car? Something tells me he was pulling a hustle on some people. Besides, he just walked pass a gas station on the way to me. Why not ask people pulling up to pump gas? It is a shame you can’t trust people anymore.

~Some woman from work told me that I reminded her of the character House from the TV show House. I guess that was good thing, right? Okay, maybe not…

~MC has a post about Oprah's new network. If I remember correctly, she used to have another channel and it was Oxygen. Has anyone seen the mess that is on that channel now? They have reality shows that do more harm to the image of women than any Rap video or R-Jay sex tape. I'm serious. Take a look at the programs that are on the network now. I guess that's what you get when you sell that channel to NBC.

~Janice Dickinson: I have to say I have never seen anyone that seems to hate women more than Tom Leykis. She becomes hostile toward any woman that’s younger than her. Feeling a little threatened, Janice? But, I do like that she hates Tyra Banks. Banks probably has a bigger ego than Dickinson.

~I just got a new watch. It was only $12. Yep, I’m cheap. Hey, a watch is a watch.

~The Punisher, the newer movie, was just on FX. I still like this movie. It holds up pretty well. Why are they sort of re-booting the franchise with Punisher: War Zone? It has been said the new movie will have no connection to the first film. Why is that? I just don’t get these reboots sometimes. Okay, it worked for Batman Begins, but that’s because Batman & Robin was a complete piece of crap. You can’t go anywhere else after Batman on Ice.

However the 2004 version was a reboot of The Punisher (1989). So, I guess that argument is done.

read em

Well, the Cloverfield reviews have been coming in, and it looks like people are enjoying this movie. I do want to point you toward two reviews worth noting. (there are a few that hate the movie.)

The Movie Blog review

http://www.themovieblog.com/2008/01/cloverfield-review#comments

Comment: This one is grounded and to the point. I like that John Campea states what he likes without spoiling it. He does note the cheesy love plot points as troubling, and I hate when movies feel the need to throw in a love story for a certain young demographic group.

He enjoyed the movie.

While I don’t always agree with John’s views or reviews, I like his writing style.

AICN review (With Harry Knowles)

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35236

Comment: Okay, yeah this is a little bit too much of a geek-orgasm. I know that he enjoyed the film, but it is extreme. However, I do like a few things about Harry’s writing style. He enjoys movies, and he isn’t afraid to show it. I wish I could be that compassionate about something I enjoyed. He just needs to tone down the fan-orgasms.

I’ll see the movie this weekend.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Artie Lange II

Artie Lange gets larger

I was checking out TMZ and this came up. He looks even worst than he did before. This picture here has a side by side comparison. Supposedly, he had a relapse and was doing drugs again in 2006. He's taking medical drugs to fight his dependency and that's the reason for the weight gain. Something tells me its definitely more than just eating a lot of food.

Here's a slide show of his move to planet-size.

The Hate List

5 People I currently hate


1. Jenna Jamerson: Does anyone remotely care about what this train wreck has to say? She was at the AVN awards and proclaimed that she's leaving the business. Sure she was attractive when she had some weight on her; she looked her best in Howard Stern's movie. Why do women have such a poor self-image of themselves? Be proud of your body. She heard some negative remarks that she was fat and started to loose the weight. I've always liked women with some a little weight on them. At the moment, Jenna has no weight. Does she think she's that important to the world? She was overrated anyway.


2. Britney Spears: Yep, she has a permanent place on my hate list. Instead of going to her important court date to get her kids back, she goes out and gets some food. Britney, it's time to give up your children, if you can't find time to even bother showing up for court. She’s lost her mind and someone needs to step up and get her treatment.


3. Bill Gates: When the HD DVD discs is about to fail now, Bill Gates makes one of the dumbest statements I've ever read. ((A: There has been a lot of back and forth. The announcement before that was Paramount putting exclusive support behind HD DVD. HD DVD did well over the holidays. The other trend we're seeing is that direct download over broadband — I think the greatest example of that is XBox Live — (is) becoming an important choice. Over time, that will be the dominant way that people get their movies." )) When asked about HD, he only talks about downloads. Great way to spin it, Bill. So, you're saying you basically undercut your own HD DVD format with XBOX live? Does that seem like a good business practice? This is spin, and no one calls him out on it. BTW, Bill is lying. Worldwide, HD DVD hasn’t sold that well.


4. Ryan Seacrest: I really don’t have a reason to put him on the list. He just pisses me off because people give him lots of money for doing nothing. Plus, he has an ego too.


5. Peter Hammond: This Maxim reviewer is that annoying guy that you see quoted on horrible movie posters and news ads. (Big Laughs, His best performance yet!) (Best one; A fiercely original shocker. (Alpha Dog)). I guess Maxim had enough of the bad press and fired his ass. Why would he change his quotes for the big studios? I’m glad people are seeing this guy for who he is, a ‘tool bag’.

Monday, January 14, 2008

GameSpot and more Jeff Gerstmann Fallout

GameSpot and more Jeff Gerstmann Fallout

((Long time video game reviewer Alex Navarro, a frequent contributor to GameSpot's podcast The HotSpot and go-to video review narrator, will be leaving the site, according to the site's Editorial Director Ricardo Torres.))

Yes, another writer for Gamespot is leaving the company.

His name is Alex Navarro, and he's jumping ship. That makes two writers leaving since the firing of Gerstmann. The first one was Frank Provo and he's made some statements about why he quit, and they're damming allegations.

(("I believe CNet management let Jeff go for all the wrong reasons," wrote the reviewer "I believe CNet intends to soften the site's tone and push for higher scores to make advertisers happy."))

(("I feel sad about the whole thing, but I can't write for a site that could one day punish me for honesty."))

Provo has come out swinging. There have been rumors that the Marketing and Advertising folks at C-NET have quietly taken over the control of the actual writing department. Writers are pressed to give higher scores to otherwise negative reviewed games. If this isn’t a conflict of interest, I don’t know what is.

Folks, this bigger than the game industry and more of this needs to be exposed. Once our writers lose their objective opinion, there is no reason to read any kind of review or web site. There has always been an invisible wall between the journalists and the Advertising and Marketing guys, but that wall has been crumbling of late and it needs to be stopped. There will be more fallout from this thing.

On a lighter note, here's a funny video giving the whole Gamespot controversy a JFK/Oliver Stone treatment.

Norbit

Norbit

Congratulations, Eddie Murphy, you’ve made a movie that’s worst than even The Adventures of Pluto Nash. I don’t know how you did it, but you did.

Murphy plays three different roles in the movie, but none of them are remotely funny. The main one is Norbit, a nerdy character who has married a super bully and extremely fat Rasputia (played by Murphy too).

Rasputia is a horrible character. She has no redeeming qualities. She runs over dogs and cheats on her husband. She’s just disgusting to look at and Eddie Murphy isn’t interested in making her complex in any way. This is the same Murphy they did a wonderful job in Dreamgirls. What the hell happened?

There is not a single good thing in this movie worth mentioning. When you combine the shitty powers of Cuba Gooding Jr., Marlon Wayans and Eddie Griffin, you get an aimless mess of a movie with these three bad actors. I’m all for crude humor, but this movie is just dreadful. It feels like a child wrote the script and an15-year directed it. I mean you won’t even care about the main plot. I’m not even sure there is a plot, because the story goes everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Listen, I like fat jokes and bathroom humor, but this movie is too mean for its own good. Sure we’ve met people like Rasputia, but do we need an entire movie devoted to her? Stop making these movies, Eddie. Just stop.

Don’t watch this movie. You will regret it.

Grade: F-

Look at the kid on the right. He's checking someone out.

Juno

Juno

Since I have to write a complete review for this movie for class, I will give you a completely different type of review for the blog. Remember, I had to see this film for homework and write a review on it. So, like the Miami Vice review I did a while ago, I will interview myself for the review. (The other review will end up being like my normal format.)

Tell me about Juno?

About the character or the actual movie?

Here we go again. About the movie.

Great, right off the bat you’re being an asshole. Then again, you’re me and I you.

Yeah, you’re calling yourself an asshole.

Anyway, Juno is about a teenage girl that finds herself knocked up by a geek and considers giving her baby up for adoption. She finds the perfect couple for the job, or at least she thinks so.

So, did you like the movie?

Yep, I loved it. It has a witty heart, and the characters have some interesting things to say. With all the dirty talk, it has a charm about it. I think the message about adoption is something more un-fit mothers should consider. We need fewer Britney Spears in this world. Child rearing is important to how that child ends up.

Anything you hated about the film?

Well, the music wasn’t to my liking. I didn’t like many of the songs used in the movie. There were a few dead spots in the movie.

Was there anything else you’d like to add?

Yep, I think some people might go in thinking this is a chick flick, but it is not. The dialogue is great and the acting was wonderful. You’ll enjoy the movie. While I think it does help to have a loved one by your side when you see it. I went alone.

BTW, this was totally different than Knocked Up.

Hey, this interview went better than I thought it would go. Thanks.

No, thank you.

Grade: B+

 
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