Thursday, November 27, 2014

Bullet to the Head

Bullet to the Head
 Sly:  "I am Da Law."
This movie isn’t bad, but it isn’t good either.  This is based on a graphic novel, but it feels less polished than most movies based on printed material.  The movie really doesn’t have much style or good storytelling.  It comes across as being bland. The script needed a few more rewrites. 
Sylvester Stallone plays yet another hitman with rules.  (No women, no kids…again) Someone double-crosses him and his partner, which gets his partner killed.  He is now on a warpath to get the people that want him dead with the help of a police detective.
The script is simple with its lame dialogue and half-baked subplots.  It actually works as a revenge flick with a hitman and cop taking out all the people that supposedly turned on them…however the movie shifts gears in the last act.  The movie pretty much abandons it plot in the last 15 minutes and kills off most of the villains and ending the movie with a lame axe fight.  Yes, the movie ends on an axe fight between Sly and a henchman.  There really isn’t much build up into why this henchman is such a badass.  Why does he hate Sly so much?  
It almost feels like they ran out of script and time and just decided to make it a fight to the death with axes.  Lame. 
Lame is probably the best way to describe the entire movie.  It isn’t a bad movie; it just comes across as being lame and boring despite the damn action.  How does one screw that up?  Sly’s much better in his Expendable movies, so look at those instead of this.  I just found the movie lazy. 
Grade: C-
-Sly’s body:  He looks leaner and not as pumped up as his recent Rambo and Rocky movies.  He actually looks like his body type from the very first Rambo movie. 
-Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Mr. Eko):  He is completely wasted as the evil businessman.  Why even bother bringing him in as the main bad guy if you don’t pit him against the main heroes?  It is a complete waste. 
-Sung Kang:  That guy from the Fast and Furious series…He’s Sly’s partner…kind of. We really don’t get the buddy/enemies vibe because the movie doesn’t know what it wants to be. 
-Narration?:  Why is there a narration?  I know you’re trying to do the pulp thing, but it doesn’t work when Sly mumbles things we see conveyed on screen. 
-Nudity:  Probably the only plus in the movie.  It is a R-Rated film by the way. There is even a scene where naked women walk around a party for no good reason other than to show off TNA.  You WILL get to see Sarah Shahi partly naked and that’s a good thing.  

Sly does this every morning. He wakes up believing there is an evil twin trying to replace him. He realizes it is only a mirror after shooting it. He goes through a lot of mirrors. 
  Sly: “Remember, don't drink that Too Fast or Too Furious.”

Han: “Look, you may think I am a little 'Rocky' at this, but I am not.” 
Sly: “Look, I am going to kick your ass for making Kuffs , Very Bad Things , and Alone in the Dark .” Especially, Alone in the Dark.”

Slater: “But you made Judge Dredd?” 
 Mr. Eko, the Smoke Monster is behind you. 
 No comment or joke.

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