Friday, September 19, 2014

Penis Home: WTF?

Penis Home: WTF?
First off, this post WILL be disgusting yet amusing. So, if you are offended easily, don't read this post.
When I saw this link in the Know Your Meme site, I was like... “Oh, God, no. Don't let this be what I think it is. It is.”
Mark Driscoll made one of the dumbest statements I've ever read and it makes me laugh. It has something to do with female lady parts. Mark wrote a blog about this penis house back in 2001. Let's go through this statement shall we?
From Know YourMeme, ((While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in.  ))
So, my penis is a lonely fellow that you see hanging out in front of a bar? Wait, my penis is a homeless guy? Calling my dork a bum isn't going to win you any favors, Mark. And, what the hell is the “on loan” bit? How does one pay back a penis load? Wait, I don't want to know. 
It gets better.
Moving on, ((Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home. ))
Newsflash, men and women look different. I had no idea. I also like that someone HAS to notice AFTER marriage that their wife has different sex organs. That's like buying a car and checking for the engine after making the purchase. Is that really smart?  You want to kick the tires and give it a test drive before making the purchase.  Wait, I just made a metaphor like Mark.  I'm calling women cars and marriage purchasing.  Damn it, now I am doing it.  Damn you, Mark!
((Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home.  ))
So, a woman's vagina is a home for a man's penis. All this time I thought it was for sex and reproductive uses. Does the homeless penis choose what kind of furniture goes inside? Does the drapes match the carpet? (yes, I had to use that one.) I'm not sure he chose his metaphor correctly.
((But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not. And, though women other than your wife may look like a home, to rest there would be breaking into another man’s home. ))
This where he really starts to lose me. (actually when he called men's junk homeless and women's junk houses is when he lost me) So, masturbation is “pitching a tent”? Tents are basically fake houses in the shape of a home, but not a home. So, having sex with another woman is breaking and entering? Nothing about this sounds right at all. And, I am a little uneasy with this whole ownership and loan thing involving women.
((And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home. ))
I have no idea what the hell he's saying in the last statement. So, a homeless penis doesn't like seeing other homeless penises?
Home sweet home?
What about squatters?  Do they have squatters rights on your "home"? 
By the way, do not Google Penises Homes.  Trust me.  
Why does this Penis House stuff remind me of this woman's discussion?

Yes, this is real.  

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