Big Red

Kalidor: “I saw a vision of the future, and I didn’t like it all.”

Red Sonja: “What? What did you see?”

Kalidor: “I became a figurehead Governor of a kingdom and you became old and unattractive. You were banging some little troll that wore oversized clocks and a hat with horns on it.”

Red Sonja: “Oh, shit. Is there a way to prevent this omen from happening?”

Kalidor: “Simple, we must go to the future and try to prevent this horrid thing from happening.”

Red Sonja: One bad movie

Becca has some nice information this bad campy movie. I remember sort of liking this movie as a child, but I hated that stupid little kid. I also thought that Arnold Schwarzenegger was playing Conan in this movie, but actually it was a clone named Kalidor. As Becca notes, he was going to be Conan, but it was changed.

While Brigitte Nielsen was stunning in Beverly Hills Cop II, here she's just bad all round. I'd say check this movie out, if you're flipping through cable.

(Note: I think it's funny that now I want nothing but for Brigitte Nielsen to go away forever. Can we throw her in the Phantom Zone with those three Villains?)