Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
The Squeakquel is that piece of poop that you have trouble flushing down the toilet, so you close the seat cover to try to ignore it. But, it keeps mocking you, because you know it is there. At some point, you’re going to have to deal with it.
Somehow, the makers of this movie have made the first movie look like a masterpiece. This movie is bad in the same way as that second Garfield movie. The CGI is even worst than the first movie, and I don’t even know how they did that. The more you watch it, the angrier you get.
During a concert, Dave is severely hurt. And, Jason Lee is promptly removed from the movie, probably because he pissed off Xenu. In his place, the writers bring in Zachary Levi, Dave’s cousin, to watch the chipmunks. Dave forces the chipmunks into going to high school as his last wish before he falls asleep. And, the Chipettes show up as rivals to the Chipmunks.
What makes the writing so bad is the cheap way they took Jason Lee out of the story. I guess Lee wasn’t too pleased with the first movie and had his part reduced for the second film. Lee spends most of the time in bed or on the phone. So, they brought in another character in the form of Zachary Levi. His character is merely a replacement for Dave character without changing much of the story. The only difference is Levi (Toby) is a slob. Why didn’t they just recast the part of Dave?
And, the writing is all over the place. We have scenes of the Chipmunks taking on various roles throughout the school that don’t seem to fit with the main storyline. Alvin becomes a football player and, Simon becomes a nerd that becomes source of bullying. It just seems like padding to an already weak script. Children deserve better than this.
David Cross is in this movie for a paycheck. He’s not even trying to be funny here. After you watch Cross dancing with the Chipettes, you’ll end up hating Cross just little bit more. Oh, did I mention Cross donning a dress and singing at the end? Oy…
The CGI in this “Squeakquel” is worst than the first movie. Somehow, they managed to go back in time to the 90s to bring this style of FX to the screen. None of the CGI models look convincing enough and they seem to be missing a few textures. I’m sure the PS3 or Xbox360 could render better models, and I am not joking here either. At one point, Alvin jumps on a toy motorcycle and rides along the street. The modeling looks horrendous. They’re not even trying.
And, that’s the biggest problem with the movie. No one is trying. The writers, the director, and the actors simply didn’t care about the material. If they don’t care, why should we?
Avoid this movie and stick to letting your kids watch the cartoon show from the 80s instead.
Only the best PS2 and Xbox development tools were used in the making of this movie.
Alvin: “You’re saying we have to do another movie? But, the first one sucked…”