Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Grown Ups 2 (Part 2)

Grown Ups 2 (Part 2)

You know the movie is in trouble when it literally ends on a fart joke.  Yes, Sandler ends his movie on a big wet fart.  Yes, a big fart sums up this entire movie.  The movie begins with a piss joke and ends on a fart joke.  The circle of shit?
Now, there is another good thing about the movie.  There is NO Rob Schneider in this piece of crap.  Rob doesn’t infect this movie with his horrible wormy character.  However, they added a character that is a brother to the Schneider character.  This new character is much, much worst than Schneider.  It is in the form of Nick Swardson.  Swardson’s character might actually be the worst character written in any Adam Sandler.
Swardson is Sandler's buddy, so that means he has to be in every movie that Sandler makes. And, his scenes are so unfunny that they alone will ruin the movie for you.  Nick plays a stoned bus driver that gets messed around by the guys. His introduction is bad and it goes down hill from there.  I know people like his standup, but I hope they don't like his movies. Holy crap, Swardson is really-really bad and just another reason NOT to watch this movie.
-Shaq Attack: As I said before, Shaq can and will stink up your movie. He's not funny here and not even remotely entertaining in most of the movies he’s plagued. He's about the same as his small role in Freddy Got Fingered. This time we get a fake hairline, which is not funny.  Why was he in the movie again?
-Chris Rock: Okay, some of his individual scenes aren't bad. The cable guy bit was sort of funny, but it has nothing to do with the rest of the movie.  They were clearly written his scenes for his brand of humor. He's a side character when it comes the rest of the group of guys though. And, what's with the strange Humpty-Hump reference in the form of a character named Bumpty?  All the Bumpty stuff was bad real bad.  And, the stuff with his daughter was lamely paid off in the third act. 
-Salma Hayek role and plot come across as emotional and worrisome. She wants a baby and starts to cry and bug Sandler about it throughout the movie. She is only in the movie to show that Sandler can pull in a hot wife.  I hate everything about this subplot. 
-No shirt no shot:  Sandler at one point has to take off his shirt: The camera makes sure to shoot him from only the upper chest up. Thankfully, we don't have to see man flab from him. I know what he means though. I am no prize with my shirt off either. I just wanted to point it out.
-Taylor Lautner isn't bad. If I am being honest, he's actually a better actor here than in the Twilight movies. He's certainly a fit guy with some interesting MMA moves. He's supposed to be the main villain…if this movie had a conventional narrative.
-What was the purpose of the car wash scene? No one knows.  And, the payoff with Shaq was unfunny and gets worst as the scene goes on. 
With additions of Nick Swardson and Shaq, they've made a worst movie than the first one. The movie is just a collection of bad improvised skits and multiple unfunny jokes involving male crotches. The women come across as being needy or crazy, but not in a funny way. The kids have more to do, but their subplots only make the movie more of a mess.  We get the 80s bullshit we always get from Sandler, but this time around it is REALLY unfunny and cheap. 
Somewhere along the way, Sandler forgot how to be funny and just cashed in to whatever company was willing to pay for his brand of shit humor. He's just stop trying and just cast his friends in an extended vacation trip in the form of an 80 million dollar movie. He clearly didn’t spend it on the CGI, because that FX was bad.  It’s lazy and lame.  Sadly, this movie sums up Sandler's career of late.
The movie also shows a trend of making movies a collection of gags without having a central plot. The fact this movie made a lot of money proves that people don't really care about things such as narrative and cohesive storytelling. Avoid this movie if you can.
Grade: F+
   Simpson/Family Guy did it better. Sorry. 
  Yes, we have a 80s party. How about a 90s party? Check out most of Sandler movies, they all have callbacks to the 80s. I love the 80s, but please not in every movie. 

 Yes, there is a Free Throw joke in the movie.  It would have been funny say ten years ago.  Wait, he actually did have a free throw joke ten years ago in that Steel movie! 

No comments:

Blog Information Profile for Semaj47