Sequels for non-sequel movies

Mariah Carey going for the Mars Blackman look…

You know, there are certain movies that will never get sequels. It’s either because the first movies sucked or no one has any interest in making another movie. I decided to come up with three concepts for sequels for movies that will never have sequels. Enjoy.

Over the Top 2: The Ocean Blue: Lincoln Hawk (or Hawks, depending on scene in the first movie) has given up Arm Wrestling and has opened an Arm Wrestling themed Restaurant. His son won’t have anything to do with him. The current Arm Wrestling Champion challenges Hawks (Hawk) to a battle. He must get himself into shape to face this one last challenge. Wait a minute; this was the plot to the new Rocky film. On second thought, just forget it.

Glitter 2, In the Gutter: Since the first dreadful film was loosely based on her early singing career, I feel a follow up movie based on her loopy experiences after becoming famous would be interesting. Mariah Carey er, I mean Billie Frank becomes a big time singer with many hits under her belt. She lets it all get to her head, growing her ego the size of William Shatner’s ego. She starts having a relationship with a white rapper, which ends with him not returning her strange voice mail calls. She begins to loose it by appearing on a lame MTV show, nearly taking off her clothes in the process. She gets into a deal to make a movie about herself. The movie will bomb and she will have a nervous breakdown. (Note: I think I just created a paradox or something.)

Commando 2: The Road to the Governorship: After saving his daughter from some really bad guys, John Matrix (Arnold) marries Rae Dawn Chong and becomes a stay at home Commando. Not finding much to do at home, John Matrix decides he wants to run for Governor, despite not having any experience in that field. He soon discovers that the cutthroat acts of politics are far more difficult than actually cutting throats.Look at Da Brat’s expression on the left, priceless.

Commando 2

First he takes back his daughter, now he takes back his state!

You better Vote, or Die.

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Hawks or Hawk? Characters call him by both names in the movie. Who wrote this script? BTW, the guy on the Poster looks like Goldberg.