Southland Tales

Southland Tales

(Trailer here)
In a world where movies don’t make sense…

After reading the major review by the folks over at The Agony Booth, I decided to give this ‘legendary’ sci-fi movie a spin in my DVD player. After finishing the film, I got the same feeling you get when you poop your pants.

“Ah, crap, that’s not good.”

I’ve never encountered a movie that is both complicated and overly unintelligent at the same time. The movie attempts to be wacky and ironic, while trying to give you a somewhat interesting time travel plotline at the same time. These two concepts don’t fit together that well, and the movie starts to become a parody of itself as it draws to its conclusion. I wish I could say its heart is in the right place, but I don’t believe this movie has heart or soul for that matter.

Moreover, the movie will leave you saying, “What the hell was that about?”

Since it would be futile for me to even try to explain the plot, I’ll be lazy and copy the plot summary from the IMDB page,
((Southland Tales is an ensemble piece set in the futuristic landscape of Los Angeles on July 4, 2008, as it stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. Boxer Santaros is an action star who's stricken with amnesia. His life intertwines with Krysta Now, an adult film star developing her own reality television project, and Ronald Taverner, a Hermosa Beach police officer who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.))

I will give the movie credit for trying to attempt to give us an understanding into the alt-present time with an impressive opening. But, there are so many things left unanswered that you have to read some of the prequel material to fully understand why certain characters behave in a certain way, and that’s a lot to for moviegoers to take in.

And, then there are times when Richard Kelly goes too bizarre for his own good like these examples.

-There’s a commercial involving two cars humping. That’s right, two CGI cars making love.

-((Boxer Santaros: I'm a pimp... and pimps don't commit suicide.))In the context of the film, what does that even mean?

-Jon Lovitz as a currpt cop?: I’m not even sure he’s a cop or not. It doesn’t matter because it is just plain stupid.

-The movie seems to be a dumping ground for ex-SNL actors.

Dwayne Johnson does his best in the lead role, but there is only so much he could do. And, Stifler, er, I mean Seann William Scott is fair-to-weak in an unfunny role too. Pretty much everyone else is terrible, but I’m sure it was done on purpose from director Richard Kelly.

Southland Tales is a confusing movie, even when you read the FAQ online, and it doesn’t help that the movie is just poorly constructed and written.

Despite the negative review, I will recommend the movie, simply because I want people to see it and try to explain it to me, or have a better time understanding it.

Grade: D+

It hits Mandy Moore while filming this scene, her acting career is over.

_____________________________________________

With a face like that, he's bringing sexy back.

________________________________________

The Rock: 'You're about to find out why they call me The Rock and why I lay the smackdown, Vampire Slayer."