Movie Popcorn is bad for you

Evil Movie Popcorn is a killer

Comment: When I went to see Ocean's 13, I noticed a couple with a big bag of movie popcorn. I thought to myself, I bet they had to take out a loan to even get the popcorn and tickets. Think about how much money you spend on the Junk food from these theaters.

When I go to the theaters, I never buy anything from the theater food stands. Maybe it's just me, but I don't like spending 4.00 on a f'ing soda pop. And another 3-4 on freaking dry ass popcorn. On the few dates I've taken to the theaters, I've basically told them to smuggle the drinks and snacks into the theater in their purses.

When I go to the theater, I generally don't want to be shoving large handfuls of stale popcorn into my mouth. I'm there for the stinking movie.

Side story time...

I went to see a movie once in a crowded theater and I was forced to sit beside an overweight fanboy who generally didn't smell too swell. He got the super tub of popcorn with the smell of fake butter weaving off the top.

As the movie went on, he would pour the popcorn into his mouth with his shovel-like hands. His smacking of his lips got on my nerves, but I was able to get through most of the movie. Well, toward the last portion of the film, I guess he had enough of the popcorn, so he passed it to me!

“Here, take it,” he said, shaking the tub of popcorn.

I waved him off.

“I don't want anymore, you have it,” he said.

I didn't want to be a complete jerk, so I took it to please him. Of course, as everyone knows you never finish movie popcorn because the last layer of popcorn at the bottom is always the worst. It is made up of dry and small crumbs. I'm sure he thought, Dumb ass is really going to eat that mess.

You know what, I did...

It was bad.