The Covenant

The Covenant

I knew going in, before my friend popped in the Blue Ray DVD, that this movie was going to suck big time. I heard that this movie had one of the worst lines ever created in a movie…ever. I was also aware there wasn’t a single famous or skillful actor in this entire film, yet I still wanted to see this shit. So, how bad is this movie? Read on.

The plot is about four angry teenagers that happen to be Warlocks. These young male Witches pretty much hang out together as a gang or a book club group. Whoever did the casting should be banned from every studio. The acting is barely above one of those stupid WB shows. Hell, this is a WB TV show, but with bad CGI and Rob Zombie music. Actually, the best acting comes from the CGI effects than from any of the actors, and the effects are bad.

The piece of crap director never seems interested in directing his actors to act or speak their lines correctly. Then again, director Renny Harlin isn’t a good director at all. He just seemed to follow what ever orders the studio and marketing people wanted in this film.

1. Make a bad R-rated movie into a terrible PG13 movie.

2. While it’s okay to show a lot of man ass and man chest, we can never see full frontal nudity from the ladies. (Yes, there is too much bare man chest in the movie.)

3. Have as much bad MTV rock music as you can into the movie? (The opening credits are directed like a rock video, not even Bay does that.) The movie is full of bad rock music.

It feels like instead of making a good movie, they decided to take money away from that dumb 15-20 WB crowd instead. If you want a good laugh, but a horrible movie, check this turd out. I can’t believe how bad this movie is.

Grade D+

Note: Probably one of the worst scenes ever filmed or conceived in history comes out of this film. The police are chasing the four Warlocks and they reach a cliff. The Warlocks used their combined power to lift their Hummer into the air, where it promptly files around. One character yells out, “Harry Potter can kiss my ass!” Yes, I laughed my ass off, because this is one of the worst scenes I have ever seen in my entire life. Someone did an edit from that famous scene I just mentioned with Harry Potter added to the scene.

From the network that gave you Charmed, comes a new twist, Charmed II: The Boys are Next.

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Note: I actually said, “Please let this be R-rated” during this scene. No Joke, I did. Sadly, PG 13

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Hold on, did we just switch to X-Men III in this shot?

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Like this shot hasn't been done before.