Sunday, April 30, 2006

Soul Plane (Review)

Soul Plane

This movie is an embarrassment to every race out there. Why? It’s because this movie shows the very worst of the black culture. Sometimes, the movie’s humor is tasteless, while other times it’s random. There’s not much of a plot to the movie, and it moves from one subplot to another without much transition or playoff. Some subplots are just dropped all together and forgotten.

Basically, there is a guy that rides on an airplane, and he’s treated poorly. During the opening, his dog is ejected from the flying plane and killed by its engine. Somehow, this is supposed to be funny. He then sues the Airplane Company and wins. He takes his settlement and starts his own company geared toward ghetto types. He names it NWA Airlines. Why? No one knows or cares why he names it after an old gangster rap group.

The cast is made up of actors that should have known better than to sign up for such a crappy movie. Any movie with Mo'Nique in it will automatic go down a few points. She plays a stereotype of a stereotype of an overweight black woman Security Guard. Snoop Dogg plays, uh, Snoop Dogg flying a plane. Tom Arnold plays the typical out of place white guy with a family.

I can’t stress enough how bad this film is. The acting is way over the top, even for a comedy. This movie is a cheap knockoff of an earlier airplane comedy called strangely enough, Airplane!. If you want to waste money go ahead and rent it. But, I’m telling don’t watch it, and don’t even illegally download it.

Grade F- (I can’t grade it lower, I wish I could)

John Witherspoon plays the complex character named…Blind Man. I can’t make this up.

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Method Man ain’t got no pimp hand, homeboy. (Okay, that just hurt typing it.)
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In this movie, Tom’s daughter bangs a bunch of black guys. In real life, Tom banged a fat chick. I would pay to see that movie…on second thought, no i wouldn't.
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Tom’s wife leaves him for a well-endowed black guy. Nope, I’m not making this up.
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Hear that, Snoop? That’s the sound of overexposure.
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Pimp my movie…
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As a black man, I’m embarrassed…
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Okay

Man vs Gator

Golfer gets jacked by a gator…

http://www.local10.com/news/8990767/detail.html?subid=22100404&qs=1;bp=t

Comment: ((PALM BEACH COUNTY, Fla. -- An alligator attacked a Coral Springs man who was diving in a pond to recover golf balls Tuesday.

Police said Steven Martinez was diving for golf balls at the Links of Boynton Beach at 8020 Jog Road when the gator grabbed his left forearm in its mouth.))

Well, I’ve always hated golf, and I guess this alligator felt the same way. That’s some crazy sh*t.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Galactica: 2006

I haven’t really watched a much of Battlestar Galactica, but here is some interesting news from Harry’s site

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=23139

Comment: Cut and pasted from there

((ed Series

'CAPRICA'

From executive producers Ronald D. Moore and David Eick ('Battlestar Galactica'), writer Remi Aubuchon ('24') and NBC Universal Television Studio, this new series is set over a half a century before the events that play out in 'Battlestar Galactica.' The people of the Twelve Colonies are at peace and living in a society not unlike our own, but where high-technology has changed the lives of virtually everyone for the better. But a startling breakthrough in robotics is about to occur, one that will bring to life the age-old dream of marrying artificial intelligence with a mechanical body to create the first living robot - a Cylon. Following the lives of two families, the Graystones and the Adamas (the family of William Adama, who will one day become the commander of the 'Battlestar Galactica') 'Caprica' weaves corporate intrigue, techno-action and sexual politics into television's first science fiction family saga. ))

I always knew there was going to be a spin off show. Could be interesting if handled right. I guess everyone wants a prequel

Friday, April 28, 2006

Thunder Over Louisville

Every year, around this time, there is a big event that opens up to the derby activities. This big event is called Thunder Over Louisville. It is one of the largest fireworks shows in the US; believe me. The fireworks go off with music, perfectly timed.

When I was younger, I used to go to this event all the time. I actually enjoyed watching the show; I didn’t really care for the air show. However, as I grew older and more standoffish, I began disliking the crowds of drunken zombies that gathered near the riverfront park. This year, I didn’t go to Thunder, and I’m glad I didn’t. Here’s why…

2006 "Thunder Country"

I’m not watching anything country.

Part of the air show, some jet…

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Uh, fireworks, lots of them…
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This was part of the clean up.

BTW, I swear this is the Can Lady that had all those cans on the highway, you know the same one that I mistreated.
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I want to know what’s so funny, so I can be caught on camera looking goofy too.
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This is the reason I didn’t go, people packed in like cattle, and smelling far worst too. Count me out.

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Do you have to have your shirt off? Please, you’re scaring the children, and blinding me.

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Great…
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I thought the woman in the front was big; look at the guy in the far right. He could eat the entire Thunder Over Louisville show and have room for next years show. Note: Check out the woman on the phone in the background. "Like I was Totally there and like I was like, like, like, like…”


Sorry kid, that doesn’t work, I tried it last week.

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Great, those horns are annoying and some little brat gets one and won’t stop blowing the thing around me. I loathe kids and horns

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Abrams clears up some false info

Just more news on the new Star Trek movie

http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=news&id=6513

Comment: I agree with the Chud here. If MI:III is a huge hit, I believe JJ Abrams will handle the writing and producing duties. Let's hope they still keep Berman out of it.

‘dark’ Spiderman

Another picture of the ‘dark’ Spiderman

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=23119

Comment: I’m telling you this dark outfit looks badass. Check out the link

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

dsaaffsersggfgdfjrtsu yuydj yjdfdb eynuulo ujmdyjs

This is the South Park kids drawn realistically. From the episode Free Willzyx.

Note: I don’t really watch South Park, but I read up on them at answers.com here South Park. I don’t know why…

Life is for Living

Life is for Living (laughter)

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2706252

Comment: This one folks is just plain funny. I love the guy falling through the hole in the floor. And the kid on the big wheel getting hurt with a leaf-blower!

Shatner sings again

Why William Shatner Rules the universe…

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2722361

Comment Shatner is a king among men. This one has Shatner singing Taxi. This one is great. Got to love that collar, it looks like it’s going to fly away. Creepy

unintentionally borrowed

I Love Spin, here is another reason why

http://books.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_1158355.php/Young_novelist_copied_%60unintentionally%60

Comment: This is great; everyone is stealing from everyone else.

((NEW YORK, NY, United States (UPI) -- A 19-year-old Harvard sophomore whose newly released book is a hot seller says she unintentionally borrowed from another author`s work.))

How do you unintentionally borrow? Okay, I go to a friend’s house and I take his Xbox 360. Does that mean I unintentionally borrowed his system?

What about cars?

“I’m sorry, your honor, but I unintentionally borrowed that guy’s car.”

Now, there are many people that end up having the same idea, but this below is different.

((Harvard`s Crimson Web site cited 13 instances in which Viswanathan`s book closely paralleled McCafferty`s work, but the New York Times said there are at least 29 passages that are strikingly similar.))

10 more things about me...


Ten More things…

11) I used to be a huge Transformers fan. I had many of the toys, too bad they’re all gone.

12) My second home during childhood was in Memphis. I spent half my summers there, because most of my father's side of the family lives there.

13) I have a knack of singing old 80s and 90s songs at random times for no reason. Usually people will join me in the singing.

14) My smartass remarks were legendary in high school. Teachers and students hated my negative attitude. Which made me happy...

15) I’ve had someone threaten to shoot me before. Fun stuff.

16) I’ve had a Ex-Marine threaten to kill me if he saw me outside of work. (Separate incident from the one above).

17) The first girl I really fell in love with went by the name of Latoya F. Like all my life stories, it didn’t end happy. Nothing ever does.

18) I didn’t go to my Senor Prom. I was so enraged with the social structure in high school that I didn’t want to be part of any social event. Plus, most of the women were shallow there…

19) I used to work in the produce department in Kroger.

20) I’ve been in three fights.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Super Mario on Ice

Super Mario on Ice

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2721326

Comment: What the hell? Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano in the same video with a lame version of Super Mario…on ice.

This is one of the reasons I can’t stand Nintendo. Here are some burning questions about this crappy video.

Why is King Koopa fat and gay?

Why does Mario sound like Fred Flintstone?

Why are they using guns to kill the bad guys?

Why does the princess sound like Fran Drescher?

This movie is 6 mins of crap.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

energy drinks

Something Awful has some very funny reviews on energy drinks.

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3647

I am now hooked on energy drinks as a way to keep myself up at night, so I can finish some homework and creative writing. While these things work really well, they mostly taste bad. I guess they can’t taste too good, because people wouldn’t stop drinking them.

Anyway, the writers at Something Awful are funny guys, so enjoy the reviews

Friday, April 21, 2006

Star Trek Lives?

Spock: “No Shatner, No Braga, No Berman? Highly Illogical”
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Star Trek Lives?

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,18863,00.html?fdnews

Comment: What does LOST and Star Trek have in common? Okay, besides the 47s. The creator of LOST is in talks to take over the Star Trek Franchise. Read below…

((Young Kirk. Young Spock. Mr. Lost.

Those are the components Paramount Pictures has assembled to revive its sputtering Star Trek franchise.

A new big-screen movie, apparently featuring the early adventures of Trek forefathers James T. Kirk and Spock, and boasting the handiwork of Lost creator J.J. Abrams, is being primed for a 2008 release.

The studio wouldn't confirm the plot points, but did say Friday that the 39-year-old Abrams will produce, direct and cowrite the untitled project. His collaborators will be familiar names, to Abrams: Producers Damon Lindelof and Bryan Burk, both from Lost; and writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, both from Mission: Impossible III, the upcoming Tom Cruise sequel that Abrams helmed. ))

This is good news indeed, As long as they can keep Shatner and Rick Berman out of the creative process. Keep in mind there might be some legal battles coming up over this, because Havre Bennett also had a concept similar to this as well.

I wonder what Ron Moore thinks of this move…

HONOLULU Officer gets stuff Stolen From his Car

Law enforcement PIG got his police equipment jacked

http://www.thehawaiichannel.com/news/8863436/detail.html?subid=22100441&qs=1;bp=t

Comment: ((HONOLULU -- An officer's handgun, uniform and badge were stolen from a car Wednesday afternoon, according to officials.

The officer's personal car, not a police-subsidized vehicle, broke down near Geiger Road in Ewa Beach near the Honouliuli Sewage Treatment Plant.

When he returned, he found that someone had allegedly broken into his car and stolen what was inside, police said.

The officer's gun belt, pepper spray, baton and handcuffs were also taken.))

You know crime is bad when even the cops aren’t safe. I wonder whom does a cop call when he gets jacked? When he calls, does it take an hour for them to get there?

Throw them a 'sign'

School Girl who skipped school had to hold up a sign as punishment

http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/8868318/detail.html?subid=22100413&qs=1;bp=t

Comment: ((KANSAS CITY, Kan. -- A girl who skipped school Thursday received an unusual punishment from her father. "I told her she could either get disciplinary actions at home, or she could go up the street and hold a sign for 30 minutes," Wesselman told KMBC's Kris Ketz.))

Found this punishment pretty neat. Hell, I think everyone should do this everyday.

The sign said this…

"I skipped school so I don't have to learn so my Dad made me this sign so I can be ready for the future. God Bless."

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Richard Pryor high and doing an interview/plus, Two guys dancing in a Supermarket

Richard Pryor high as a Mf’er

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2715169

Comment: Here is a 13 min video with Pryor high as hell. He starts going on about his 2 mil dollar paycheck and stuff. Even high, this guy was funny.

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Two guys dancing in a Supermarket store…that’s all I’m going to say.

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2700636

24/Calorie Mate

Jack Bauer is a busy man, but he still has time to do ads in Japan

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2719534

Comment: I found this 24-spoof ad selling Calorie Mate snacks extremely goofy. It’s from Japan and has Jack Bauer running with a cell phone and a Japanese guy trying to give him a snack. I wonder how much Kiefer Sutherland got paid for this one.

100 things about me

Since I found Jeff’s 100 things about yourself interesting, I decided to start my own. I’m a boring person, and I don’t see myself getting to 100. So here we go

1: I was born and raised in Louisville, KY. While I do like certain things here in the city, I find the place rather boring

2: My mother is a retired schoolteacher. She is also a member of the Louisville Urban League, and works a tutor for the No Child Left Behind program. Yes, she’s a better person than me.

3: I once twisted my ankle so badly that I had to learn how to walk again. The injury still gives me problems today and has never healed correctly.

4: I lose my cool fairly easily.

5: I am a complete loner, and I hate teamwork and peer pressure.

6: I’ve seen a real lava flow. Trust me, the lava flow I saw was black and only moved an inch a minute. What was cool was feeling the shakes as the street cracked under the heat. This was in Hawaii.

7: I’ve flown a plane before. You know one of those small ones.

8: I have a brother who lives in Palm Springs, CA.

9: I know how to play two musical instruments, and I even considered composing music at one time.

10: I love cheese.

Snake this

Snakes evolved on land
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2006-04/20/content_4451239.htm

Comment: ((BEIJING, April 20 (Xinhuanet) -- A newly discovered fossil of the most primitive snake known, a crawling creature with two legs, adds evidence to the argument that snakes evolved on land, scientists report Thursday.

The discovery was made in Rio Negro province of Argentina. The snake's anatomy and the location of the fossil show it lived on land, researchers say.

Snakes are thought to have evolved from four-legged lizards, losing their legs over time. But scientists have long debated whether those ancestral lizards were land-based or marine creatures.))

Yeah, but that doesn’t explain where Karl Rove evolved from. I’m sorry about that…

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Another dead person on LOST...

“Which one cuts down trees, the watch or the axe?”

________________________________________
Someone is going to die on Lost soon.

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,18835,00.html

Comment: Click on to find out.

My Day at an Indian Restaurant Part two

Sweet
Last Time on Star Trek: TNG. A recap and then… And, now the conclusion.
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While I sat there waiting for whatever dish I picked, I began to look around the table, noticing that I was the only one without a date or a loved one. I never gave it much thought, but here I am the Lone-freaking Ranger sitting here with my date happy friends. Then it got worst…

“Will this all be on one check or separate checks?” the waiter said, almost appearing out of nowhere.

I looked up at him and said, “Those two are the same check and those two are on a different check together. And, then that leaves me the single guy on a separate check.”

Everyone at the table laughed. And, I looked up and the waiter was laughing too!

Thanks guys…

Well, as the wait went on. I noticed a flicker of amber colors being reflected on my glass. I looked to my right to the large table with the Indian family. One of the 10 year olds decided it would be neat hover an entire basket of Indian bread over a candle. And like anything hovers over a flame too long it caught on fire. So the fire started to grow, so he did what any kid would do, he sat the flaming basket on the table.

Then out of nowhere, another waiter appeared and scooped up the flaming basket, which now was growing in size. He started to run toward the backroom with the flaming basket.

Great, take an open flame to an area with a lot of grease. Well, I guess he got the flame out, because we were all still alive. I also wondered if these waiters had personal cloaking devices, because they had ninja like skills.

Our food came out and the appearing waiters started to pass out the food. One guy said aloud some strange chicken dish. I opened my mouth, but said nothing, because I wasn’t sure what I got.

“Is this yours, sir,” he asked, holding the plates.

“I can’t honestly say…” I replied.

A friend at the table said, “Yeah, that’s what you ordered. “

I gave him a thumbs-up.

The dish came on many bowls. There was a bowl with this thick orange sauce and a rice bowl and chicken bowl. I guessed that I was supposed to mix it together and place it on my plate. I took my first bite and I found the entire thing to be very good. In the end, I loved the dish whatever it was. Now, Indian food is up there with my top foods.

Grades

The Dish: B+

The Restaurant/Atmosphere: A-

The Flaming Basket: A++

Still Being Single: F+

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

My Day at an Indian Restaurant Part One


My Day at an Indian Restaurant Part One

This happened a few months back. A friend of mine called me and told me that his girlfriend was having a birthday coming up and she wanted to go out and celebrate. She wanted to choose the restaurant. She narrowed down her choices to two options. One was an Indian restaurant, while the other was a fondue restaurant. I was not going to eat at a Fondue restaurant. No way in burn-nating hell I was. So, I told him to ‘convince’ his girlfriend to lean toward the Indian Restaurant. She chose the Indian Restaurant.

Like millions of others, I saw Along Came Polly. I was a little fearful of the after effects of Indian food. I wondered if I would have ended up like Ben Stiller’s character, sweating and farting. However, the other side of me wanted to try new and interesting things.

When I got to the restaurant, with a set of other friends a married couple, I entered the restaurant. The first thing I saw was a big fat C rating sign barely visible on a glass window. My first thought, oh, shit! Along Came Polly indeed.

The wife leaned in and whispered, “You saw the C rating too.”

I nodded, thinking we should have gone with the fondue crap instead. Yet, we were already here and there was no turning back.

“Don’t tell anyone,” the wife said.

Getting back to the restaurant, I noticed the place was extremely dark, which I dug a lot. I would much rather not see other people eating while I waited for my food. There was Indian music being piped in through speakers, which enhanced the atmosphere. We went to the back of the dining area where the guy and his birthday girlfriend were waiting for us. As I sat down, I noticed that there were candles placed at the center of each table in the place. Right across from us, a large Indian family sat waiting to order as well. A rather tall Indian waiter came to our table, placing a basket of Indian bread for us to eat. The bread was flat and flaky, and I really enjoyed it.

Then the waiter started to take our orders and I started to get nervous, because I looked at the menu and didn’t know what the hell was on the damn thing. I didn’t want to look like a complete idiot (Too late). Before he got around to me, I quickly searched for a familiar word to latch on to, Chicken. While I didn’t know what it was, it did in fact have chicken in the title, so I knew I was safe. (James Rule: When not sure what to pick, always bet on chicken.)

“What would you like, sir?” he asked in a thick accent.

Here goes nothing. Instead of trying to pronounce the dish and sounding like a complete jackass, I simply pointed at the dish on the menu, and he nodded.

The electrifying conclusion (well not that electrifying) Tomorrow

William Shatner loves George Lucas

yo yo yo,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p55YD8QhQ3o

Comment: Watch as Shatner sings to George Lucas. This one is funny. I just love the way William Shatner reacts to the word “Star Wars”. I have to give credit to Shatner for making fun of himself and his EGO.

Note: Watch Harrison Ford nearly fall out of his seat in laughter.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Death by Microwave

Man uses microwave as a weapon to kill his girl friend

http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/8690991/detail.html?subid=22100406&qs=1;bp=t

Comment: This is messed up.

((Police said a man used a microwave oven to attack his live-in girlfriend and then beat her to death early Thursday morning in Uniontown, Fayette County.))

What in the world?

((Walter Fordyce, 58, said he began arguing with Mary McCann, 55, after she refused to heat up roast beef sandwiches for him, according to police.

Fordyce allegedly told police that he threw McCann on the floor, threw the microwave onto her chest and beat her head against the floor until she lost consciousness.))

Uh, couldn’t you just warm up the sandwiches yourself? What a bum…

Mr. T fool!

Mr. T likes the whopper foo!

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2718592

Comment: The god of coolness, Mr. T, wants to beat a guy up for changing the whopper. I actually remember this Ad.
 
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