Chris Brown:
As Your Friend (Review)
Not my cup of Coffee.
I heard this song while driving my car
through the city. I couldn’t believe it
was a Chris Brown. Granted, Chris Brown
relies too much on auto-tune, but this song is way overboard with the
auto-tuning. It is a sad state of
affairs when you either have to listen to Dubstep or these weird dance songs
with auto-tune when you tune into a pop channel. There used to be a time when you actually had to sing even when
singing to a dance song.
After listening to the song a few times, I’ve
come to the conclusion that this might be the worst Chris Brown song ever. I don’t know which aspect is worst the Soundwave-like
voice tuning effect or the “bleeping-blooping” Euro-dance beat that interrupts
the song like a shart in church.
There are two things glaringly wrong with
this dance song.
First off, the off-tune bleeping and blooping
beat makes this song far worst than Brown’s other heavy auto-tuned songs. I guess I can blame the Blooping sound
effects on DJ Afrojack. It sounds like
a rejected tune from Sonic the Hedgehog except filtered through a restroom
soundboard. It feels like a strange
disjointed mess that I find it hard to believe anyone could dance to this.
Second, there is Chris Brown’s robotic
voice. Okay, I don’t like Mr. Brown as
a person, actually he’s a horrible person, but he’s had a few songs that I can
tolerate and passively like (I Can Transform Ya), but he hides behind auto-tune
too much even in the post-Lady Gaga age.
It is during the 1:30 section of the song where the wheels come off the
train thanks to the Autobot sounding voices.
Why, Chris, why?
It is songs like this and Starships that make
me feel old and long for the days of 80s and 90s, sure they were cheap songs,
at least they sounded like actual songs.
Grade: D-
Crap, Chris Brown is going to mace me!!!
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