Saturday, January 12, 2013

Chris Brown: As Your Friend (Review)

Chris Brown:  As Your Friend (Review)
Not my cup of Coffee.
I heard this song while driving my car through the city.  I couldn’t believe it was a Chris Brown.  Granted, Chris Brown relies too much on auto-tune, but this song is way overboard with the auto-tuning.  It is a sad state of affairs when you either have to listen to Dubstep or these weird dance songs with auto-tune when you tune into a pop channel.  There used to be a time when you actually had to sing even when singing to a dance song. 
After listening to the song a few times, I’ve come to the conclusion that this might be the worst Chris Brown song ever.  I don’t know which aspect is worst the Soundwave-like voice tuning effect or the “bleeping-blooping” Euro-dance beat that interrupts the song like a shart in church. 
There are two things glaringly wrong with this dance song. 
First off, the off-tune bleeping and blooping beat makes this song far worst than Brown’s other heavy auto-tuned songs.  I guess I can blame the Blooping sound effects on DJ Afrojack.  It sounds like a rejected tune from Sonic the Hedgehog except filtered through a restroom soundboard.  It feels like a strange disjointed mess that I find it hard to believe anyone could dance to this. 
Second, there is Chris Brown’s robotic voice.  Okay, I don’t like Mr. Brown as a person, actually he’s a horrible person, but he’s had a few songs that I can tolerate and passively like (I Can Transform Ya), but he hides behind auto-tune too much even in the post-Lady Gaga age.  It is during the 1:30 section of the song where the wheels come off the train thanks to the Autobot sounding voices.  Why, Chris, why? 
It is songs like this and Starships that make me feel old and long for the days of 80s and 90s, sure they were cheap songs, at least they sounded like actual songs. 
Grade: D-
Crap, Chris Brown is going to mace me!!!

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