Battle of the Year: The Dream
Team (2013)
Holy Crap, this looks
bad. Every cliché they own in Hollywood
is crammed into the damn trailer. It
looks like every “Urban Dance” movie from early 2000’s. And, I find that funny.
Not only do we get the crazy
man Chris Brown in this bag of shit, they threw my favorite character from Lost
Sawyer. Yes, Sawyer is pulling a long
con job and pretending to be an urban coach.
Please tell me Sawyer kicks the shit out of Chris Brown.
Basically, this is a real
sport or challenge that happens every year. I know because I looked
it up.
- “Breaking is like breathing
to me” Thank you Chris Brown. Cliché much?
- “I’m not into boys. I’m into men.” They should have just brought in Jessica Alba or Julia Stiles to reprise
their roles as the spunky white hip-hop girl.
- Okay, Chris Brown can dance,
but can he really act? Yeah, he’s been
in Takers and Think Like a Man, but really?
-Director Benson Lee: This director
actually made a real documentary about B-Boy dancers earlier in his career.
We know there are only two
ways this can end.
1 The American team loses, but
discovers that are better working together and vow to win next year. The opposing team gives them props and waits
for them next year. Winning wasn’t
important, but them coming together as a team makes them better people.
2 The American Team wins and
the opposing team promises to challenge them next year. There
is a group freeze-frame and end credits.
John: That's impossible! Even for a computer.
____________________________________________________________________
Sawyer: "I fought a damn smoke monster, I can coach a team."
Insert a Sawyer insult here.
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