Top 50 Bad Movies of the 2000s (31-40)

Well, we’re getting close to the end of the Worst of the Decade list. With the next, the films on that list will be some of the worst movies ever created from the 2000s in my opinion. I have to say that I’m really enjoying ripping into these terrible movies. It is like getting revenge on these movies. Let us begin again.

___________________________________________________________________
Tomcats

Even Jerry O'Connell can’t believe he’s in this movie.
______________________________

Tomcats: Here is another American Pie knock-off that came out of during the early 2000s. Hell, they even have Shannon Elizabeth in the damn movie too to fill out the American Pie connection. There really isn’t anything that laugh-out loud funny about this so-called comedy. It has a lot of gross out humor, but it seems tacked on because of American Pie. American Pie was a good movie, but it seemed spawn poor clones that came across more sad than funny. Plus, why promise Shannon Elizabeth in the movie without her bearing it all like AP?

___________________________________________________________________________________
Code Name: The Cleaner

Cedric the Entertainer: “Hey, you! Don’t watch this movie or we’ll shoot you.”
_____________________________________

Code Name: The Cleaner: You would think with Lucy Liu and Nicollette Sheridan would at least be entertaining on a basic level. Sadly, it fails. Cedric the Entertainer and Lucy Liu have no chemistry together, and they almost look like they hate each other. We all know how well Lucy Liu gets along with comedians...like Bill Murray. Code Name: The Crapper.

___________________________________________________________________
The Adventures of Pluto Nash

Computer: “Warning, you are now leaving The Adventures of Pluto Nash and entering the movie Meet Dave.”

___________________

The Adventures of Pluto Nash: Holy crap, Eddie Murphy proves once again that he can’t make good choices in movies. This comedy feels like it was written for the early 90s than the 2000s. Every joke seems like it was ripped from a discarded live-action Jetsons’ script. I really feel bad for the very hot Rosario Dawson in this movie because she can’t seem to keep away from high profile bad movies. Remember, Men in Black II was before this one. Nothing in this movie works.

__________________________________________________________________
Men in Black II

This picture sums up everything wrong with MIB2. 1. There is a Burger King inside MIB headquarters, and it is promptly shown throughout the movie. 2. Lara Flynn Boyle and her big head and ghostly skin. 3. Johnny Knoxville, there are two of them.

_____________________________

Men in Black II: This film wasn’t exactly the worst film ever made, but it is one of the biggest movies to have hundreds of endorsement tie-ins. And, then there is the amount of on-screen advertising too. Barry Sonnenfeld should have known better than embarking on the major budgeted movie. The script has to work and the ad tie-ins don’t matter in the end. It does feel like the studio and actors just ran all over him and made this a complete mess. Lara Flynn Boyle looks like the walking dead and is way too skinny. I’m sorry, but Rosario Dawson is way hotter than you. Why was Johnny Knoxville in the movie?

_______________________________________________________________
Max Payne

Mark Wahlberg: “Call me Marky-Mark one more time. I double dog dare you.”
_____________

Max Payne: Marky-Mark, there aren’t any “Good Vibrations” in this bad videogame movie. At a certain point, the movie almost becomes un-viewable when the CGI Angels and Demons take over in last half of the movie. Just because something works as videogame doesn’t mean it will work as movie. When will they learn this?

_________________________________________________________________
Son of the Mask

Whoa, someone stop the damn Mask from eating the title of the movie. On second thought, let him.

_________________________

Son of the Mask: So, how do you follow up the 1994 comedy hit The Mask starring Jim Carrey? You replace Jim Carrey with Jamie Kennedy. Uh, wow. I know Carrey and you sir are no Carrey, Mr. Kennedy. (That was a very odd reference.) There’s a rap/dance number that is only shoehorned into the movie to fulfill Kennedy’s fantasy of becoming a rapper. I hate this movie so much that I want to write Kennedy a strongly worded angry e-mail. Instead, his movie will make this entry.

___________________________________________________________________________________
Half Past Dead

Who has a better career right now? “Every thug needs a lady.”
_____________________

Half Past Dead (2002): Steven Seagal pretty much ended his in-theater movie career after this movie. Seagal was doomed to direct to DVD after this. Half Past Dead is the poor-man’s The Rock. I mean it is same damn movie and they even set it on Alcatraz just like The Rock. Ja-Rule is a flaming turd too. Seagal looks extremely bloated and tired and so is this movie.

_________________________________________________________________
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

Jim (clone): “Now where did that movie script go?”
________________________________________

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd: I knew I was in trouble when the blockbuster guy told me this wasn’t a good movie. I also remember hearing about the extensive re-shoots the movie went through after post-production. It is considered a prequel to Dumb and Dumber, but without Jim Carrey or Jeff Daniels. That’s when you know the movie has hit the wall; you get two poor imitators of the original actors to fill in the roles. There is no excuse for the studio releasing this film to the public.

______________________________________________________________
Monkeybone

Monkeybone: “So that was The Mummy 3?”
__________________________

Monkeybone: When you name a damn movie “Monkey Bone”, you’re just asking for failure. Putting the stupid name aside, this Tim Burton want to be movie isn’t as fun or interesting as some other films in director Henry Selick’s body of work. The director has done some interesting films; it is too bad this isn’t one of them. Did I mention that Harry Jay Knowles has an unwanted cameo? So it looks and smells like a Tim Burton film, but it isn’t one. I don’t even want to fathom what exactly is a “Monkey Bone”.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Pearl Harbor

___

Pearl Harbor: Slow and ponderous for one hour and then turns into The Rock in the last half of the film. You can’t have both Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett star in your movie without it sucking. At the time, Affleck and Hartnett both were just blocks of wood that sucked the life out of movies like talent vampires. Cuba Gooding Jr. is overlooked here. I have no idea why Michael Bay felt the need to force a poorly conceived love story into a movie that should have been just about Pearl Harbor. The Attack on Pearl Harbor and the Doolittle raids should have been the only focus of this movie, yet someone wanted the two blocks of wood to fight over a chick. If I wanted to see that, I’d just turn on a VH1 or MTV reality show for that. This movie is merely on the list because of the poor creative choices.