Steven Seagal: Lawman (First episode review.)

Steven Seagal: Lawman (First episode review.)

From “The Lawman” facebook.

((Steven Seagal Lawman - His movies have grossed more than $2 billion worldwide. He is an expert martial artist with a 7th-degree black belt in Aikido. He's considered to be in the same class of action heroes as Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, Steven Seagal isn't just an action hero in the movies. For almost 20 years, Seagal has been working as a fully commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana. In addition to going out on patrol, Seagal is an expert marksman who has worked with their SWAT team and has instructed Jefferson Parish officers in firearms and hand-to-hand combat. Steven Seagal Lawman will allow fans to ride shotgun with Seagal as he and his hand-selected elite team of deputies respond to crimes in progress. Then, when Seagal goes off duty, the cameras will continue following him as he pursues his many ventures, including musical performances and philanthropic efforts in Jefferson Parish and New Orleans.))

A&E, you have just given the world the biggest joke ever. When he isn’t making shitty direct to DVD movies, Steven Seagal is police officer in Jefferson Parish. Seagal takes this BS completely serious and that’s where the humor comes in.

The best part of the movie…er show is when he tries to tell his partner how to drive during a police chase. His partner says, “Steven, let me drive.” And, that’s what makes Steven’s show so funny. He’s almost an observer than an actual police officer. He enters into events Johnny-come-lately. But, his ego is so big that he thinks he is the best person on the force. (BTW, it takes about 40 cops to take down a car theft.)

Here are the best highlights from the episode.

~We also get many shots of an overweight “action star” lumbering out of a police truck. He seems to be out of breath most of the time.

~Steven uses his magic to teach a fellow cop how to fire a weapon at target practice.

~Seagal even attempts to light matches with the bullets from his gun. It doesn’t work. Best line: “From what I’ve seen today, he can take a nat off a fly’s ass.” That’s why he is the Glimmer Man, officer.

~Everyone on this show kisses his ass like he is the biggest mother-f’er on the planet. Most people forget he hasn’t had a hit since Under Siege II.

If you hate Seagal or like him, you should see this show. Steven Seagal is this generation’s Chuck Norris. The show is cheesy and stupid, but in a Steven Seagal kind of way. It might be fun to watch this show with a group of people so that you all can make fun of it together.

Grade: B- (For cheesy crap)

BTW, Seagal has another movie coming out called “A Dangerous Man”. Check out the dangerous trailer.

Naturally, he’s an ex-cop that beats the crap of bad guys. He’s always an ex-something in these movies. Why is there a naked woman flashing between the images at the end? (Yes, flashing has a double meaning.)