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Better Off Dead Because of the extremely fascinating discussion of this film over at Lee and Dan's Midnight Movie Club podcast (with guest star MC), I decided to pick this movie up at the rental store. I was surprised it was even on the shelf. But, there it was. Make sure you listen to the in-depth discussion about the film before you get into this review. I wouldn’t have picked this movie up if it weren’t for the podcast. I vaguely remember seeing bits and pieces of it on cable, but I never got through the movie. So, what are main thoughts on the movie? Man, what a strange movie! -This feels like Savage Steve Holland ’s take on a John Hughes , except flipped sideways. -Singing and dancing animated hamburgers: You ether turn the movie off at this point or keep going. The animated hamburgers remind me of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. -The Asian drag racers: I wasn’t really a fan of these scenes, but I did like the payoff at the end. By the way, how did...

Lil Wayne takes on Ventrilo Harassment You banned the wrong person… Howard Stern on VH Mortal Kombat!!!

"Failed" Ricky Martin comes out . Newsflash, Ricky Martin is gay. Uh, was anyone shocked by this reveal? Did no one know he was in the closet? The whole just says, “Duh, like we already knew that, buddy.” It always felt like one of those “I’ll deny it, but we know I’m gay” situations. Numerous times in the past, he would make strange long-winded answers to the rumors that he was gay. Like this one, (("I am a modern man, live a full life, do not feel any barriers inside myself. I perceive the contemporary world as an open forum, where nothing is taboo except criminal activity. If I were gay, why not admit it?...I am a normal man. I love women and sex. I am a real hot-blooded Puerto Rican, but I have never been attracted by sex with a man.")) I’m not even sure what the he just said there. Just watch one of his music videos I actually I have no problem with him being gay. I have a problem with him coming out now because his music career isn’t ...

Tom Cruise takes over Ventrilo with amazing results This is probably Tom Cruise's best performance in years. This video is part of a series of videos called Ventrilo Harassment .

S creenwriter Apologizes for Battlefield Earth ! JD Shapiro says he ended up getting roped in because he thought he’d meet chicks. But, he got a lot more, like getting pitched the Scientology religion and getting the job to write Battlefield Earth. He got roped into this mess over a desire to get laid. It is a noble cause. But, getting involved with Scientology is like getting involved with the Visitors from the TV show “V”. That's right he put his career at risk by teaming up with these crazy people over sex. Read on from the New York Post via Slash Film , (( Willy convinced me to go check it out. Touring the building, I didn’t find any eligible women at first, but I did meet Karen Hollander, president of the center, who said she was a fan of “Robin Hood: Men in Tights.” We ended up talking for over two hours. She told me why Scientology is so great. I told her that, when it comes to organized religion, anything a person does to reward, threaten and try to control peo...

Random Videos ~ Angry Hockey Fan Attacks coach : Wow, I would probably watch hockey if this happened in every game. The guy attacking the coach has to be the dumbest guy on the planet. Uh, it’s only a damn game. It’s not like the coach took away your job or your house. Now, you get to spend time in jail over a hockey game. Enjoy that jail cell. ~ Russian Singer : What in the hell? This is kind of like those Shreds Videos. ~ The Story of Bottled Water : I really hate when people actually feel the need to buy bottled water. There seems to be this elitist attitude when people buy bottled water. I love the pretty nature pictures on the bottle making us believe the water comes directly from springs, brooks, and streams. Uh, just walk up to a random stream and try the water. See how fast you get sick. ~ The most “gay” manly fight ever ...: That's all I'm going to say. With pants that tight, I'm surprised he even was able to win the fight let alone Vogue....

Telephone “Dude version” Man, too many dudes at the party. I can’t count how many times I’ve gone to parties where the dude percentage is 95 with single guys. This video reminds me of those “mostly dude” parties. The only guy I recognize in the video is the Chocolate Rain guy.

Random thoughts ~ This woman pretty much explains my frustration whenever someone says, “you don't act like a typical black person”. This is usually said by white people. I always come back with, “What exactly is acting black?” The fine black woman also talks about the Oreo name tag people give black people that talk with proper English . It angers me when someone says you don't act black because you don't do the negative stereotypical aspects of the black community. ~ CB4: Man, this movie is very funny . I love how it lampoons the hip hop industry. Phil Hartman also stars in this movie too! Charles Q. Murphy also has a huge part in the movie. I think Khandi Alexander is extremely hot. While being total parody, some of the songs are actually pretty good. CB4 seems to be a cross between NWA and Public Enemy. Fear of a Black Planet is actually better. ~ Showgirls : The Nostalgia Chick discusses this shitty movie. It is a really bad movie. Elizabeth ...

Original Little Shop of Horror Ending with commentary I did a post about this a while back, but here are all three parts of the original ending with commentary by Frank Oz. (Before it gets taken down) I still him feeding a dead Audrey to the killer plant to be very creepy. Actually, Frank Oz is a little wrong in the commentary. Even the “Mean Green Mother from Outer Space” number is edited differently and there are few more reaction shots. It is so dark.

Chloe Sevigny bashes her own show: Blows “Big Love” out of the water. I guess there weren’t any brown bunnies for her to love… I have never understood the attraction to the HBO show Big Love even at the beginning. HBO seems to really promote the hell out of this show, more so than the better-written show The Wire I might add. And, I can’t get into it. I’ve seen Chloe in a few other things, and I have never been a fan of her work. But, I do find it interesting when actors or writers speak out about the direction a show or movie is going. From USA Today , (("It was awful this season, as far as I'm concerned, she tells The AV Club . "I'm not allowed to say that! [Gasps.] It was very telenovela. I feel like it kind of got away from itself. The whole political campaign seemed to me very farfetched. I mean, I love the show, I love my character, I love the writing, but I felt like they were really pushing it this last season. And with nine episodes, I ...

Top Five Hate List Well, there are certainly enough a-holes and d-bags to fill up an entire Top Ten List, but I decided to narrow it down to five this week. 5. Simon Monjack (Again): When he’s not starting up fake foundations or being accused of banging his dead wife’s mother (allegedly), he gives tours of the bathroom where Brittany Murphy collapsed. Uh, shouldn’t that be a bit of a private matter? It just seems creepy that he would let people take a tour of that location. 4 Kirstie Alley : For some reason, Alley is has bad vibes with Conan since he made fun of her weight. He’s a comedian, he makes fun of everyone not just you, Kirstie. She’s starting to brag that she has a TV show and Conan doesn’t. Uh, Conan is getting paid a lot of money to not be on The Tonight Show, you’re basically doing a paid-commercial for your stupid Organic diet. From Examiner , (( "Really most of those people have been in some pickles themselves...And some people overdo it a little bit...

A Strange ad for DARS chocolate Uh, what exactly is this video supposed to be selling? Chocolate or cheating? Did we miss a commercial where it explains this how this story connects to the damn chocolate? Did Jesse James eat some of the choco By the way, the woman in the video is the C anadian/Japanese pornstar Maria Ozawa .

Twilight Yes, I finally watched Twilight, and I have to say that I wasn’t that impressed with it. The movie is so bland and dull that watching corn grow is probably more exciting. The acting and the editing are also irregular. And, most of this blame has to sit on the lap of director Catherine Hardwicke . Catherine Hardwicke ’s direction is plain, and it looks like a first director’s work. All the stories of Hardwicke getting fired from the second movie seem to be supported in this movie. There is no way the Twilight franchise could have survived under Hardwicke’s direction. Hardwicke doesn’t know how to direct the actors under her movie. Kristen Stewart looks sleepy, and her line delivery isn’t very convincing. While she might fit the look of Bella Swan, I don’t think Stewart was the correct choice. Robert Pattinson seems to have this “sucking on a lemon drop” permanently plastered on his face. It gets to a point when I just laugh every time they show a ...

Random Things ~ Sinbad surfaces...on Celebrity Apprentice 3? It looked like Sinbad, who was making Big Business appearances and nothing else, just dropped out of the limelight. In the 80s and 90s, Sinbad was red hot. He even had a talk show, a few sitcoms, and some big standup shows. Now, he just got fired on Celebrity Apprentice: where careers go to die. ~ The Dark Knight Strikes Again...again : Yes, the artwork for this is horrid. I picked up this book looked at the artwork and put it down. Frank Miller seems to have completely lost his mind. Superman and Wonder Woman have sex and shake the world. Really? Jay Leno? ~ Why did this guy run away from a car crash ? ~ Lost is extremely good this season. I'm really enjoying Evil/Fake Locke stuff. And, we finally get some answers behind what the hell the smoke monster is all about...not all but some. We also get an deep insight into Richard's past. I really feel bad for poor Richard. ~Last week, I was int...

Somatica I wanted to give a shout-out to these guys. I know one of the band members, and I've seen them live twice. Some of the other local bands just don't have the full sound that this band has live. You can tell these guys are more than the dozen hardcore bands out there I just hope they get more exposure. Anyway, check out their Myspace to listen to two of their tracks . Just give them a whirl.

The Gunslinger vs. Chat Roulette This video shows there are a lot of assholes on Chat Roulette too. I like this guy’s outfit and gun.

All About Steve Well, that was not good, but not as bad as everyone tells you. It is mind-numbingly bad and very misguided, but not Brothers Solomon bad. I wanted to really hate this film because of the reputation. However it is more of a misguided/unstable film that doesn’t know what it wants to be more than anything else. Sandra Bullock ’s character is a crossword puzzle writer for a local newspaper. She goes on a blind date with Bradley Cooper . After Cooper has to rush to his job, Bullock goes on a fool’s journey across country to find her true love Steve (Cooper). Steve doesn’t agree with this and thinks she is crazy. Okay, there is one scene that does come across as funny. It’s the scene where Sandra Bullock goes on a date with Steve. She is so attracted to him that she basically jumps his bones in his van. And, Sandra looks amazing in that red bra and it shows even in her 40s, she is an attractive woman. If Sandra Bullock wanted to have her way ...

R emember Jesse Camp? As I listened to a podcast , they mentioned Jesse Camp. I started laughing because I remember this burn out MTV VJ. He could bare speak, yet he had two shows. This was when MTV was still showing music videos and not Jersey Shore reruns and other teen-based reality shows. You couldn't turn on MTV without seeing this guy's ugly face. At first it made me wonder; Why would MTV want to hire this loser? Yet, come to find out, he was a winner on a VJ contest and they had to take him. I'm surprised he even lasted a year on MTV, but then again look at who is starring in their current shows on the network. Naturally, a guy with no talent would later start up his own band. They were called Jesse & the 8th Street Kidz, it makes it cool when you replace the “S” with a “Z”. Listening to a few samples from his album, it sounds like a poor retro tribute album with the same guitar riffs on every track. But, it is Jesse Camp's terrible voice ...

The Brothers Solomon Wow, this movie pretty much rips off Dumb and Dumber, but with worst results. The movie really isn’t a gross-out humor type of movie like Freddy Got Fingered, but the film never knows what kind of movie it wants to be. And, the movie never really makes it clear if the two Solomon brothers are totally stupid are clueless intelligent guys. Basically, these two brothers having a dying father that they want to impress by getting a woman pregnant. That’s right, they want to have a child with a woman and attempt to find the right woman for the job. After many failed attempts, one being a larger woman getting hit by a bus, they zero in on Kristen Wiig ’s character. So, then the movie shifts to this woman getting knocked up and the Solomon brothers trying to train for childhood. This is all supposed to be funny, but it isn’t. Bob Odenkirk ’s direction has some potential, but it never lives up to promise. Everything comes across as flat. Will Fo...

Pamela Anderson and Crazy Domains Pamela Anderson in an ad? Have we flashback to the 90s? Now, what exactly is this ad supposed to be selling? Milk? Sex with two babes? Nope, buying your domain name and web hosting, but it seems to be selling us on Pamela Anderson. I first thought it was a milk commercial. It would appear that some people in Australia didn’t like what the ad was implying with the “milk” slashing on female bodies. From the Sun , ((But the racy commercial has been banned by Australia's Advertising Standards Bureau after it sparked hundreds of complaints. )) Something tells me most of the complaints came from women and probably mothers. Nope, we can't have sex in ads, but blowing a guys brains out is acceptable. While I have my problems with sex in ads, I can't side with ASB on this. Like in the US, I think people have too much time on their hands to write and complain about shit like this ad. It is a stupid ad with Baywatch/Barb Wire star...

J oslyn James: It’s a bit too late for that . ( radio interview) As you already know, a certain Pornstar by the name of Joslyn James has been connected to super-slut Tiger Woods. She supposedly had a long affair with the golfing superstar, and she even claims she had two aborted pregnancies that were Tiger’s. (How does a Pornstar NOT have some form of birth control? That’s just stupid.) So, now Tiger's former girlfriend/sex buddy has a website devoted to posting all of Tiger Woods' dirty text messages . (Not safe for work) And, some of them are very dirty. Sure we get a peek into Tiger Woods' sex life, but at this at point is this Web Site even necessary? The damage is already done, now it just is embarrassing his wife when you release these text messages. So, what is this Pornstar's motive behind the damn site? She wants an apology for Tiger's actions. Uh, releasing personal text messages will not get you an apology. First off, you were just th...

Final Fantasy XIII: This is what they did to Shiva? Someone at work revealed to me that they turned one of my favorite summons into a damn motorcycle. That's right they turned the elegant half-naked frozen woman into twins that transform into a damn Ice Bike that the dude rides. That's just strange. For some reason the clip reminded me of a reverse Ghost Rider with the ice trail. I did like the friendly kiss the Shiva sisters give the character at the end. But, there is so many inappropriate jokes you could make about a dude riding a chick-motorcycle. Here's how I'd like to remember my Shiva. From FF7 This one is rather simple and she simply throws ice at her opponents. FF8 Very similar to FF7, but the graphics are bit more complex. FF9 Wow, they really improved the character model for Shiva. FFX This one I really enjoy. She has that strange watery intro and her attacks are very cool. (Pun intended) So, how does she go from being a...