Five Things You Never Want to Hear on a First Date

Why do I have a picture of women getting ready to take their tops off on a dating post? I don’t know…

Five Things You Never Want to Hear on a First Date

Okay, guys, so you finally asked her out, she accepted. Now, you’re sitting in a restaurant, on a first date, and talking to her about the most important thing in her universe; herself. Here are a few statements to be on the lookout for from her. They should raise a red flag if spoken.

1. “I believe in sex after marriage.” This statement alone should have every red-blooded male asking for the check and leaving her ass in the restaurant. There are two things wrong with this statement: One, it means she’s a bible freak (not a super freak). Two, she’s already thinking about the M-word (Not Marriage, but you’re money).

2. “I crapped myself.” Umm, just avoid her after this, and warn others to do the same.

3. “I work there to put myself through college.” Good news, you got yourself a stripper, bad news, you got yourself a stripper. Think about it this way, sure it’s good to have her around when you need change for a 20, or 50…in singles, but she takes her clothes off for money (Okay, most guys will say that about most women, overall.).

You’ll probably discover dollar bills in places in her body you didn’t think existed.

4. “I like you a lot, let’s move in together.” This freak is just as bad as the bible freak up at number 1. Leave this crazy woman at once. It means her ass doesn’t have a job and you’re the next chump she’s going to leech off of. No sex, and no love, might as well get married for that.

5. “I don’t like Star Wars/video games/ Star Trek/ or any other Fanboy thing.” There’s going to be trouble in the future of this relationship, avoid. Moreover, don’t even pay for her dinner. Oh, and make sure to throw your drink in her face.

End