Saturday, October 31, 2015

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 
 Within the first few minutes, you know you've made a mistake with picking a movie. Yet, you can't look away because it is so bad. If you like being reminded that Kevin James is fat and enjoy watching him fall down and get hit, then this movie is for you.
Kevin James, somehow you managed to make a movie that is worst than the first movie. I am not sure if it was laziness or sheer stupidity, but this movie makes the first one look like Observe and Report. Yet, I could sit through the movie to end. (I couldn't finish Strange Magic) Blart is a poorly constructed sequel that no one wanted or asked for after 6-7 years. Yet, here it is. I hate Kevin James and his character Blart, but I don't truly hate this movie. I actually feel sad for it like a lost kitten.
There is NO reason for this movie to even be made. It seemed the first movie said all that it needed to say about. They separate Blart from his wife from the first movie just to make him single again.
The movie doesn't get going with the main plot some 30-40 minutes into the movie. Instead, we get a bunch of physical “humor” and scenes with Blart trying to get connected with his daughter. The whole daughter plot is completely worthless and not entertaining.
The second half of the movie is a rehash of the first movie, except now it is happening in hotel. The villains want to steal priceless art and his daughter gets captured. Now, you just throw in a bunch of other “loser” security guards into the mix and that's your Paul Blart 2.
Kevin James does a lot, I mean a lot, of falling and bumping into things. Things hit him and so on. Yet, I kept thinking that Chris Farley did it much better, but Chris usually had a better/funnier script to back him up. Here, James simply only relies on his pratfalls to string along the movie. It doesn't work here just as it doesn't in those Grown Ups movies. And, I hope you like swegway humor, because you will see a lot of it.
Okay, I got one single laugh out of this piece of shit. Paul Blart accidentally punches an old woman and it is rather funny. You got a single chuckle from the joke. Neal McDonough as the bad guy isn't bad, but he's wasted in the role because he's such a good character actor.
With a movie this bad, who decided to make a sequel so many years later? Even though the first movie was a hit, no one asked for a sequel. And, most Kevin James movies are basically Paul Blart sequels anyway. Remember Zookeeper?
It just a lazy movie with a combination of gags patched together. Blart gets attacked by a large bird. What does this have to do with the plot? Nothing. You could cut it out completely and it would have no impact on the story. (You can cut out the callback to it with the bad guy getting attacked too, because it does nothing.)
The movie is useless and unfunny. Kevin James looks bored doing all of his prat-falls and his facial gestures are lame. I am truly beginning to hate Kevin James' bag of comedic tricks and it is because of this movie. Plot lines go nowhere and random things seem to happen for no reason and go unexplained. Paul Blart 2 is a total mess and I have to wonder if there was even a complete script on the set.
Kevin James' “comedic” falls and facial expression are very tiresome and nerve-racking. There is only one joke that works in an otherwise stupid, no, dumb movie. It is not the worst movie ever made, but it might be the laziest.
Grade: D-

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