Porkins (please stay on target)
I remembered watching Star Wars when I was younger and remembering the extremely fat Rebel Pilot named Porkins. I always thought, Man, the rebels must be really hard up for Pilots, if they got this guy.
He looks like the kind of guy that’ll get really angry when he has to stand in line at a Fast-food joint. I’m sure Porkins joined the Rebel Alliance to get the free meals. He didn’t die from enemy fire, but mistakenly hit the self-destruct switch while reaching for a hamburger.
Don’t get me wrong I like Porkins. I like how he has a name that actually fits his appearance. I personally think the new Star Wars TV show should be about him…finding food.