Tuesday, June 07, 2016

Lark Voorhies: The Writer

Lark Voorhies: The Writer
Lark Voorhies (not related to Jason) played Lisa Turtle on that horrible sitcom Saved By the Bell. I had friends that thought she was the hottest thing on that show and had huge crushes on her. I never bothered watching the show. Flash-forward to the 2000s and she is looking a bit different and somewhat crazier than before. It looks like she had so much facial surgery that her face is completely different now. Plus, she had a few screwed up marriages and interviews. 
Here's the best part. Despite losing her mind, she decided to write and self-publish three books. That's right at the height of her breakdown she wrote three books...on her own. Holy crap.
Just look at these reviews from Amazon. They are very amusing.
From Paul Inagawa ((This is quite simply the greatest book ever written, of all time, by a margin so wide that no book penned passed this point could even remotely compare. You want a difficult read? This book makes Ulysses look like a Tyler Perry screenplay. You want commas? You're in luck, because this book has more commas than words. It has so many commas I thought my book was raining. The commas broke my Kindle, which is a relief, because I'll never have to read again until the universe reaches maximum entropy. It's that good. ))
From M ((However, after reading the free preview of this book, I can see that Ms. Voorhies is in desperate need of help. I've seen mentally competent people make spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, and many people with mental disorders write well. Unfortunately, Ms. Voorhies is not one of them. I tried to understand what I was reading, honestly I TRIED. But I could not make heads or tails of this. I've never seen so many commas in a book, and the fact that Ms. Voorhies thought that it was a good idea to put a comma between each word tells you a lot about her mental state. ))
From Herbert, ((This MUST be software-generated random strings of, hoo-ha. Maybe novelty collectors would put it in their collections without bearing to read, it even for Chuckles. ))
Not since Dietetics has a book been written by a bigger crazy person. For all we know, she is trying to start her own religion. Google is selling her books for around 5-6 bucks, but Amazon has them around 10 bucks. I almost want to buy one of these books just to see how crazy they are. 

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