I got my eye on you.

Mike Tyson: “Yeah, I’ll take an ear with shrimp sauce.”

Before going to class, I decided to drop by McDonalds and grab bite to eat. I went up to the drive-thru but discovered that it was busy. That was when I decided to go inside to get something to eat. Well, I placed my order and waited for my food near the counter.

A few minutes went by, and suddenly this lanky white dude, who looked like an emo with his brown mop-haircut and long gray coat, strolled into the restaurant. I looked at his face and nearly jumped back. This guy’s right eye was swollen completely shut. I mean like the way you see those boxers after a fight. I couldn’t take my two functioning eyes off the swollen mass on his face.

A great many things crossed my mind as he slowly approached the counter near me. Damn, someone got into his shit. Who did he piss off so much that they repeatedly punched him in his eye to swell it up so bad? I’d better look away, because it’s rude to stare. So, I looked away and tried not to look at his eye or him. Of course, I wanted to avoid all contact with the guy, and what does he do?

“Are you in line?” Mr. Swollen-eye asked, standing directly in front of me.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t help it and looked into his face, and found myself staring into the massive lump of purple and red flesh that was covering his eye. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out as my mind was purely focused on his eye. I was drawn into the mystery of how this could’ve happened. Why would he even go out in public? Couldn’t he use a pair large old-lady sunglasses or an eye patch? Yeah, get an eye patch and dress as an emo pirate. As I continued to stare at his eye, I realized that I didn’t answer his question. “No…I …uh…already…”

Hell, I’m not even sure I got all my words out. However, I’m not making this up, it look like Mike Tyson beat the living crap out of this guy, except he didn’t bite his ear off. I felt bad for the young lady at the counter, because I’m certain she wanted to ask the guy about his eye.