Top Five Things that get on my nerves this week

Top Five Things that get on my nerves this week

I’m usually a grumpy person. So much so, that people call me an old man. Anyway, here are the top five things that are eating me up inside.

5. Fantasy Football and the people that play it: Oh, boy. I work with a bunch of cavemen that only have three things that they talk about; drinking, banging, and sports. Now, more than half the people on the belt are into this game for non-nerds called fantasy football. Somehow, you makeup your own team and pretend it’s your own team. Somehow playing World of Warcraft is considered bad, but playing make believe football isn’t.

4. People who take their time driving during Rush Hour: Listen, I know time isn’t important to you, but can you please pick up the pace just a little bit. Some of us want to get home less than 20-30 minutes?

3. Straight people sporting the Fro-hawk: Straight men, by having a haircut that makes you look like a rooster doesn’t give you heterosexual points. It makes you look like one of the stars on all those Bravo channel reality shows. Knock it off. While you’re at it, ditch the tight girl pants. (Don’t take them off while in public of course)

2. People wanting me to shake their hands: If there is one thing that bothers me more than anything in the world, it is touching other people especially their hands. I can’t stand shaking people’s hands or giving them hi-fives. I usually give them a weaken handshake, so that way they won’t shake my hand again. And, don’t grab my arm when you’re shaking my hand either.

1. Asking for directions: Man, I don’t know where that place is located, so stop asking me that. I’ve only lived in the city my entire life, that doesn’t mean I can give you good directions. Hold on, actually it does. Still, don’t ask me where the nearest Waffle House is. What do I look like, an f’ing walking GPS? Don’t take my word for it, read the map.

I do know how to get to Sesame Street.