At da movies
The movieblog did a post about rude moviegoers and I wrote one a few weeks back. And, we’ve brought up a few things as well. (You can read their post here.)
Since I probably can’t sell this article to any newspaper or magazine, I’m going to go ahead and post it. My teacher told me that it was very funny, but the story has been done to death. So enjoy this story.
___________________________________________
Chris Merfield, an avid horror fan, says that he almost never goes the theater anymore because of the complete lack of respect from some of the younger moviegoers these days. At one point, he almost lost it. A cell phone went off behind him, and the girl answered it during the movie. “I turned around and looked at her. I said, ‘Are you fucking serious?’ I was so angry that my girlfriend had to calm me down.”
Sadly, these things tend to happen more frequently these days. People just don’t care about basic movie theater manners. The normal people, the ones who enjoy the movie theater experience, are growing weary of the clatter and are opting to stay at home for the DVD. Moviegoers aren’t willing to spend money on theater tickets because of the horrible experiences. How does one deal with these crazy situations? Hopefully, this little article here will help you in your movie-going ways.
Every year, more moviegoers are skipping theaters altogether and waiting for the home release. Brian Corbin, 30, is one movie fan who now almost exclusively rents Blu-Ray movies from Netflix. “It’s not even worth it anymore,” he says about the theater.
If more people continue to migrate to the home market, theater owners will miss potential profit. When a studio releases a movie into the theaters, they have to share that profit with the theater owners. When that movie is released in the home market, the studio receives most of the profit. So, it is in the theater owners’ best interest to make sure their steady customers are happy.
“Our best advice to theater goers if they are aware of a disruptive audience member is to inform an usher,” Wanda Whitson says. She’s the Director of Corporate Communications with National Amusements, a major theater chain in the United States. “We would not want to put any of our patrons in an uncomfortable situation, and our ushers are trained how to handle situations like these.”
Does that mean the ushers are highly trained ninjas capable of taken care of the situation? Probably not, but then if they are ninjas we would never know what happened until after the fact. Seriously, what Whitson is trying to say is one of the biggest mistakes is to confront the disruptive person. But, how does one deal with the problem?
In order to solve the problem, we have to identify the people behind the problem.
1. The cell phone user: These are probably some of the worst people in the world. The light from their phones, to say nothing of their ring tones, can be annoying. Then they answer their phones.
2. The bathroom runners: These guys drink a big cup of soda and have to go the bathroom every 20 minutes, walking on your feet in the process. Apparently, some people simply want to pay money to use the bathroom.
3. The late arrival: These types roam in groups or herds. They tend to arrive 10 minutes after the movie has started and then stand in the front of the theater, searching for a good seat. They’re creatures with no sense of time and respect. Perhaps, they are merely celestial beings from a dimension that has no need for an existence temporal like in “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”.
4. The seat-kicker: They always feel the need to kick the back of your seat for no other reason but to piss you off. They come in all shapes and sizes. When you turn around to glare at them, you may inadvertently kick the seat in front of you. So, keep that in mind. What came first, the kicker or the back of the seat?
5. The Talker: Before the others on this list, there was only one, the talker. These guys are the legends among the disruptive groups. They will talk through the entire movie no matter how good it is. They are the most likely to ruin your movie experience.
Now, that we’ve identified the problems. When you encounter these people, here are a few things not to do.
1. Setting their popcorn box on fire: Now, you may get points for being a badass, and they probably deserve it, but the smell of burnt popcorn is just as bad as a disruptive person. And, the screaming, “My Hands, my hands” just might irritate people more.
2. Rallying the entire theater against them: You may think you are William Wallace from “Braveheart”, but causing a local rebellion doesn’t help anyone. Plus, you’re missing the movie.
3. Using logical reasoning: That’s like teaching a caveman to fly a plane. It just won’t work. It all ends up going down in flames, just like the popcorn box.
Now, how do you really prevent these people from ruining your movie-going experience?
1. Don’t confront the rude person directly: Confronting the rude person is like yelling at a loud person in a library. It only makes the situation worst. When you yell at the person, you become part of the problem. Direct confrontation can cause the situation to get totally out of hand.
2. Don’t ignore the rude person either: Remember, you paid for your ticket, and you should see the movie without any major interruptions. Without taking some sort of action, these disruptive people will continue to be rude to in other theaters. Ignoring a problem will only make it worst.
3. Complain to the management: Leave the theater and talk to the manager or some of the workers. This is the best course of action. They have the power to remove the disruptive people from the theater.
4. Arrive to the theater at least 10 minutes early: Finding the right seating arrangements can play a huge factor in how much you enjoy the movie. Getting there early means you get to choose where you want to sit. Find the proper area to sit inside the theater.
5. Demand your money back: This is the most important one, because theaters should be concerned about losing money. And, why should you pay for something you can’t fully enjoy?
Taking these steps could make your movie-going time better. Remember, you paid for the movie, so it is only fair you’re able to enjoy it.
Note: The woman on the right is too skinny. You can see her bones protruding from her hips, yuck. 
Posts
