A Thousand Words

A Thousand Words

Eddie Murphy’s character is a book agent that talks fast and really doesn’t mean what he says.  While visiting a guru, he finds himself connected to a tree that grows into his backyard.  He then discovers that every word he says means the connected tree loses a leaf.  When all the leaves are gone, Eddie’s character will die.  So, he has to make every word he says count and mean something. 

Sounds like an interesting premise.  If it weren’t shoehorned into a mainstream comedy, it probably would have worked as a drama with comedic elements.

First off, I want to make a witty remark about “You don’t need to make 1k words to review this movie”, but it has been done too many times by reviewers.  Yet, I am also forced to agree with the rest of the RT reviewers, this is one bad movie.  Is it Eddie’s worst movie to date?  Nope, but that doesn’t make it any better. 

It is certainly better than Pluto Nash and Meet Dave, but the movie feels like a by numbers “family” friendly movie, with the exception of a few high and dirty jokes.  The script is bad, but not nearly as bad as some of Eddie’s other recent movies.  This movie comes across as boring and pasted together. 

Director Brian Robbins does a horrible job shooting the movie, but he also directed Norbit and Meet Dave too. He does nothing to hold Eddie back from making some of the dumbest expressions in the movie.  Oh, and he did Ready to Rumble too. 

What’s really frustrating is that everyone in the movie acts stupid.  His wife refuses to understand his predicament.  His boss doesn’t understand why he’s stopped talking.  The Starbucks guy is a dip-shit.  Everyone simply can’t see the connection between him and his tree. 

The tone of the movie shifts so much that it makes it uneven.  Sometimes the “jokes” are kid friendly and then a very strong PG13 tone takes over.  Then, they threw in a bunch of serious scenes.  The scenes with his mother are tonally so different from the rest of the scenes that they stand out as being better than the rest of the movie. 

-CGI Leaves:  At one point, Eddie spits out CGI leaves in a dream sequence. 

-Eddie’s gardener attempts to poison the tree and this makes Eddie high. 

-Lollipop song by Lil Wayne:  This is a running gag that Eddie’s ring tone is the 2008 song, which was when the movie was filmed.  The song was popular back in 2008, but the movie was released in 2012.  They really should have changed that.  Did I mention it wasn’t funny either? 

-Clark Duke: He’s not funny, yet the movie and marketing wants us to believe he’s the breakout character.  Everything he does in the movie makes it worst. 

-One point, Eddie’s character talks through different plush toys to make a business deal.  One of them is an Austin Powers doll.  I am not making this up. 

-You really threw in a Furry joke?  Wow, this was filmed in 2008. 

-They throw in a fat man in a British red coat without a shirt. 

This movie sat on the self a few years and it shows.  The jokes aren’t funny, and the story doesn’t know if it wants to be a drama or a slapstick comedy.   Every character acts like they’re completely dumb.  Eddie mugs for the camera, but doesn’t talk.  Yet, somewhere there is a good drama/comedy hiding under all the bullshit.  And, that’s a real shame.  What we get is a bad movie that never steps up to the plate.  It isn’t that bad.  Nevertheless, it isn’t the Eddie from the 80s or even the 90s. 

Avoid this movie. 

It only took me 640 words to write this review.

Grade: D 

This vaguely reminds me of Trading Places, a better movie.  

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 You heard of the Love Guru, well here is the Hate Guru.

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 You don't understand how much I hate the mugging.

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 Kiss your career goodbye, Eddie.

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Here's what the script was written on. Enjoy.