New Warriors: Come out to play

New Warriors:  Come out to play 

I can’t believe this is real, but it IS real... really stupid.  I am actually okay with Marvel creating their own new characters for the younger crowds, but it is not going to work.  The crowd Marvel is trying to cater to spends all their time on Twitter and Tumblr and are not going to sit down reading Marvel Comics.  I don’t have a problem with new teams fitting in with times.  The New Warriors of the 90s were extreme crime fighters and that’s fine.   

My problem is to force diversity without making it organic or important to the plot or character development.  Marvel is patting themselves on the back for being “woke”, but DC already had a diverse comic book line and did it better.  It was called Milestone Comics.  It had a multi-colored line up with interesting characters and storylines.  Icon and Static Shock come to mind.  Sorry, it has been done better and not heavy-handed.   

This new team seems a bit out of time.  This would have been popular back in 2013-2016.  Then again, comic books have been really out of touch lately given Zoe Quinn keeps getting work.   

Anyway, let’s get to the silly characters, shall we?   

Screentime:  So, Internet gas?  Really, Marvel?  Are we going there?  What does Internet gas smell like?  Red Bull and BBQ chips?  I am sure he’s going to spout out memes and wiki pages all the time.  “Okay, Zoomer.”   

Snowflake:  Whatever...If Jubilee uses fireworks, I guess we can have a person with snowflake powers.   

Safespace:  Oh, boy.  He can only use his powers to protect people.  So, he’s basically a white knight.  

B-Negative:  So, a pale goth kid.  Wonderful.  the only problem is it is 20 years too late.  Why not throw a hipster on the team too?   

Trailblazer:  I really don’t have a problem with this character as much as Screentime.  She has a magical bag that brings out things.  Actually, this is an old concept with a new coat of paint.  Remember Joh From Cincinnati? 

Excuse me while I pass some Internet gas.