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Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

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Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2   Within the first few minutes, you know you've made a mistake with picking a movie. Yet, you can't look away because it is so bad. If you like being reminded that Kevin James is fat and enjoy watching him fall down and get hit, then this movie is for you. Kevin James, somehow you managed to make a movie that is worst than the first movie. I am not sure if it was laziness or sheer stupidity, but this movie makes the first one look like Observe and Report. Yet, I could sit through the movie to end. (I couldn't finish Strange Magic) Blart is a poorly constructed sequel that no one wanted or asked for after 6-7 years. Yet, here it is. I hate Kevin James and his character Blart, but I don't truly hate this movie. I actually feel sad for it like a lost kitten. There is NO reason for this movie to even be made. It seemed the first movie said all that it needed to say about. They separate Blart from his wife from the first m...

Jaleel White and Wax Museum Steve Urkel

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Jaleel White and Wax Museum Steve Urkel  What the f' was that? Did I fall into a time vortex and arrive in the 90s? I really, really hate this ad a lot and I really hate the character of Urkel too. I remember everyone talking about how cool he was in his first appearance on Family Matters. I kind of liked the original concept of the show with it being about a black working class family, Then, they added Urkel to the show and the ratings started to take off, but the concept for the show switched to Urkel instead.  The show got progressively dumber and dumber with a bunch of sci-fi concepts.  I hated the character because he was just an updated version of JJ from Good Times. I just didn't understand why people liked him given that he's a live version of Jar-Jar Binks. I guess some ad exec got nostalgic for TGIF shows and dug up Jaleel White (AKA Sonic the Hedgehog) for this stupid unfunny commercial. And, if I hear one more person say, “did ...

The Boy Next Door

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The Boy Next Door Oh, boy this is a bad, bad movie. Rob Cohen again brings his shitty game to this movie. Has he ever made a good movie? It stars J-Lo and her booty. It is part thriller and part horror (bad horror at that). Basically, J-Lo falls in love with the boy next door, bangs him and then regrets it. The Next Door Boy becomes a stalker and starts doing crazy things. Think of this movie as a part That's My Boy (but funnier) and part J-Lo movie. None of it works. You know you're in trouble when the movie opens on a poorly conceived montage while J-Lo is jogging just to give us back story into the family. I was utterly confused and then amused because it poorly acted and edited. The dialogue between J-Lo and her family is laughable at best. When the “boy” shows up, the movie only gets worst from there. Ryan Guzman is NOT 17 years old as the movie tries to tell you. He looks more like 25 years old than 17. And, it not convincing in any way. ...

Small Wonder Kids

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If you remember that horrible show Small Wonder, you remember the really bad cast. The thing is the child actors from show what happens after the show ends on both ends of the spectrum. Tiffany Brissette aka Vicki: She ended up leaving acting and went to college and became a nurse. She seems to have moved away from Hollywood and not become a total asshole like some child actresses. On the other hand...The fat kid that played her brother ended up with a lot of shit. The TV Guidance Counselor Podcast and they mentioned that other kid ended up in a bad, bad place...literally. Jerry Supiran: He ended up leaving acting in 89, but here's the worst part. He was a waiter for a while before losing his job. Now, he lives under a bridge...just like a troll.  He is homeless From Fox News.com, (( Down-on-his-luck actor Jerry Supiran, 39, also claimed a crooked money man contributed to his current situation, living under a bridge in central California, according to T...

Slap a Homeless, land in jail

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Guy in front of the camera, let me be the first to tell you to “fuck off”. Its people like you that make the black community so fucked up today. We talk about the outside forces that screw up minority/urban areas, but it is little pieces of human shits like that make going to the “hood” unbearable. Now, I am NOT a huge fan of the homeless folks, mainly because they continue to bother you after you tell them no, but this is inhuman. You know a lot of these people have major mental problems and living bad conditions, they don't need your ignorant ass knocking them out. When a homeless person gets pushy or shitty, you walk away from them. Don't confront them.  And, why do the thugs sound just as bad as the homeless folks?  What has happened to our education system?   It also bothers me that, in broken English, the ignorant thugs talking shit after knocking out a 40+ woman. Yeah, you're a real thug, asshole. Here's the best part. It was posted on Face...

Jupiter Ascending (Part 2 of 2)

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 Jupiter Ascending (Part 2 of 2) Michael Giacchino is the composer and it is one of the best things in the movie. Giacchino 's score is very good and stands out as the shining aspect in a steaming turd. The chorus gives the movie an epic feel with some powerful themes. The score is very catchy with some strong themes. Trust me when I say that the bombastic music gives this movie an edge. It seems to be the only thing the directors cared about other than the visuals and makeup and it shows. Make sure to take a listen. So what about the leading star of the movie Mila Kunis? Mila does three things in this movie. She gets captured, whispers a lot and falls a lot. For a movie that is centered around her character. She isn't as active as Neo in the Matrix. And, that is interesting because she also discovers her mundane world is just a front for a bigger universe. Plus, the movie goes out of its way to tell us how important Jupiter Jones is to this expansive worl...

Project Greenlight: The driver

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This show is so good this season.  It seems like this is a movie I'd love to see.  And, it is coming together better than Battle at Shaker Heights.    Effie Brown: I understand her point of view of on diversity. I can get behind wanting more minorities in front and behind the camera. Hollywood is lacking that behind the scenes folks. However, I had a major problem with her freaking out over a black man being a driver in a scene. In real life, there are people of color that work in the service industry. Why was this such a hang up for her? From Scpr.com, ( (Brown says in the show why she changed the casting of the driver to a white actor: "A butler, a chauffeur — these are tropes that we have seen time and time again, and I think that those images are done. It's time for us to tell a different narrative."  )) But there is a difference between showing a buffoonish black server, in those old movies, and just having an extra in the scene. I...

Rick and Morty - Feels Good

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Rick and Morty - Feels Good I love this show and it always parodies sci-fi tropes and cliches. I love the mean spirited nature of the show given how PC we've become over the years. This episode is one of my favorites because the entire thing is ripping apart the concept of The Purge. The whole Purge thing is a flawed concept away that has spawned two (maybe more) movies. In the end, Rick and Morty get Iron Man type suits and start killing people. Morty starts playing Tony, Toni, Tone's Feels Good. I love when the native girl starts dancing to the song as the floors are soaked in blood. Whenever I hear this song, I just laugh now thanks to R&M. It feels good!

Jupiter Ascending (Part 1 of 2)

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  Jupiter Ascending (Part 1 of 2) Oh, boy, this movie is such an epic mess that it almost comes across as a parody of a big budget film . There are bad acting choices and poor story decisions that this movie makes you actually long for the days of Speed Racer and The Matrix Revolution. That's how bad this movie is. Given this is a fresh and new world, I wanted to like the movie, but the movie is just plain bad. The movie is a total mess with a major budget and never made its money back despite doing better overseas. First off, the visuals are truly stunning. It honestly looks like a live action Anime movie. There are robots of all sorts and huge ships and strange aliens thrown in for good measure. The style of clothing is also pretty to marvel. There are some amazing things here they wanted to do in their earlier movies. However, wrapped up in a weak narrative and poor acting, it simply fails. Overall, the characters and story are just weak. It is l...