Semaj's Blog your Blog

Snuggie? Are they serious? Make sure to read this to find out about this bizarre item . A snuggie... Someone at work mentioned them to me while we were having a discussion about the ShamWow guy and his battle against Scientology. He showed me a picture of this and I was perplexed as to who someone would buy this product. Someone crazy, wild-eyed scientist created this messed up invention. “Hey, let's build sleeves into a blanket?” People no longer have to take their blankets off when they move around, now you can wear it like those Vulcan robes in Star Trek, And what the Jedi wear. “The Blanket With Sleeves” is just silly to me, like the crock-shoes. Yet, if people are willing to buy a crystal skull full of vodka, they'll buy anything. Bill Maher even talks about it in the video below. Mark my words, you will see someone walk around your local Mall or Quick Mart in this stupid robe. I'm not saying you should slap them, but at least shame them. ...

R ihanna is back with Chris “I beat women” Brown? Please tell me this isn't so. (( People.com reports that Rihanna has reunited with her boyfriend, R&B singer Chris Brown, some three weeks after he was arrested for allegedly assaulting her . E! News reports that the two are together at Sean "Diddy" Combs' Star Island mansion in Miami Beach. Brown was booked by the Los Angeles Police Department for making criminal threats but his case has not yet been presented to the District Attorney, who will ultimately decide what charges, if any, will be filed.)) Did I miss a vital clue or something? He beat the living crap out of her and left her beaten and bloodied in the car while he ran away. I know there were rumors that she felt bad about the whole situation and wanted to get back with Mr. Brown. But this is pure assault and he needs to go to jail. You don't beat women. Why does this smell like a move a person with a victim mentality would do? R...

Crystal Head Vodka ? (Product page) I discovered this little gem through a Forces of Geeks post . And, I clicked on it and I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. Yes, there is a brand vodka being sold in a shape of a human crystal skull. So, who is behind this strange brand? Non other than Dan Aykroyd! Yes, the former Blues Brother man himself. He seems to be serious about this crap too. He's actually going around selling this strange bottles . ((When this website first went live on the internet, most people thought it was a spoof. Dan Aykroyd selling vodka out of a crystal head for $50? Sounds like a sketch from SNL, but it's totally legit. Aykroyd is hocking the very potent spirit via crystalheadvodka , which features videos of the multi-talented actor talking about the mystical power of the crystal heads (he does not use the word 'skull' because I think it is licensed by a certain set of adventure movies). )) What's next Conheads lunches? Bl...

Battlestar Galactica getting a movie? WTF The TV series hasn’t even ended yet and they’re talking about a movie. From The Hollywood Reporter, ((Just as the acclaimed Sci Fi Channel series "Battlestar Galactica" enters its final episodes, Universal has quietly entered into negotiations with Glen A. Larson to write and produce a big-screen version of the property he created.)) This reminds me of the time when the original producers of the Stargate movie wanted to make a sequel movie that only connected to the first film, thus ignoring the various series spin offs. I knew they hated the series and didn’t want any connection to them. I loved the old series a lot, but this sounds like Glen A. Larson wanting to show up Ron Moore and make his own version. While Larson has the right to do so, because it is his universe, but why is he really making this movie now? Will this lead to another series set in the Larson Continuity? What are Larson’s feelings toward Moore’s reboot? But, it ...

Samuel L. Jackson is back as Nick Fury After all the BS Marvel Studios put Jackson through in negotiations, it looks like they’ve finally come up with a nine picture deal for his movie version of Nick Fury. (( Samuel L Jackson has signed up to play the Marvel comics superhero Nick Fury in Iron Man 2 and up to eight further films, according to the Hollywood Reporter .)) There’s no doubt that Jackson is a comic book fan and that he let Marvel base their Ultimate Universe version of Nick Fury on him. But there was talk of Marvel low-balling many of the talent behind Iron Man, and it looked like Jackson probably wasn’t going to be in the sequel. ((The unprecedented deal will also see him appear in Thor, Captain America and The Avengers, all of which will go into production over the next two years.)) Nick Fury is very important to Marvel’s overall movie plans so I’m happy we’ll see him show up in these movies. It would even be ballsy for them to have him show up in the next Spiderman. ...

F’ the Oscars, I’m more interested in what films won in the Golden Raspberry Awards . You learn just as much about movie making from bad movies as you do with good movies. I love when a Rich Slut, A Former James Bond, and Former Funny Man can all win awards. This is a great country where even the failures receive awards. (Did New Coke ever receive a reward?) Anyway, here are some of the winners, uh losers. Worst Picture : The Love Guru: While there were certainly far worst movies out there, I do think this should knock down Myers’ ego a bit. So, that way he can grow out of his 90s mode and into funnier things. But, the animated VO work will keep his bank fat. Worst Actor : Mike Myers: Didn’t he win for Cat in the Hat too? You who else was in Cat in the Hat ? Worst Actress : Paris Hilton: She won for her wonderful performance in The Hottie and the Nottie, it is a movie I still haven’t seen. With all the bad press over her two movies, she still hasn’t gotten th...

What R2-D2 really thinks during Ep I Who knew R2 hated Jar-Jar? I mean he gets C-blocked by Jar-Jar. The subtitles really do fit with the context of the movie. Check it out. This guy did a good job with this one.

Random Stuff ~Really can't stand Red Bull and I really hate those Red Bull gives you winds ads too. Red Bull taste like crap shoved together with pee. It keeps you awake because it taste so bad. ~ Megan Fox has broken off her engagement with her boyfriend Brian Austin Green. Hey, Megan, I'm single. Want to go out? ~Here's what happens when Doc Brown overshoots the planned future. ~Remember Delgo? It was the movie that had a budget of 40 million, but made only $694,782. Well, the man behind the movie that made history emerges and speaks about the grand failure that was Delgo . I've had some failures in life, but not on this scale.

Billy Mays vs. Vince Offer If there ever was a fight I’d like to see is a battle to the death between Bill Mays and Vince Offer. It would be like that episode of Star Trek where Spock is horny and must fight Kirk to the death. My money would be on Billy Motherf’ing Mays. Of course Mays doesn’t really like the Scientology-suing Vince Offer. Yeah, the Zorbeez and the ShamWow are the same damn thing. Mays has a point here . I'd like to see Mays punch Offer in the face and shove Oxi Clean into his ShamWow hair. Listens to Billy call out Vince here . Here are a few remixes Watching so-call housewives talk about being on the ball seems a little strange and dirty to me. “I'll put them both in the rinse cycle” Having a Granny talk about being on the 'ball' is just wrong Mays. Offer can jam too. Make sure to check out these funny pictures .

Meet the Spartans I’ve had actual turds that were far more entertaining than this movie. Meet the Spartans isn’t really a movie, but a collection of random references to other popular movies. We’re supposed to point and laugh at every reference with glee whenever they come on screen. We know this because a character will point at the reference and tell us which movie it comes from. Seltzer and Friedberg never bother to see that the audience is smart enough to figure out jokes without the character explaining it. The Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer think riffing on the 300 storyline is enough to keep the movie flowing, but the joke gets rather old real fast, and especially when 300 is sort of a parody itself. There is nothing in the movie that is remotely funny or mildly amusing. There isn’t even a plot to speak of, and even spoof movies need a plot, like the wonderfully still funny Naked Gun series and the first Airplane movie. Friedberg and Seltzer don’t even try. Don’t was...

For some reason, I'm getting a lot of hits on a post I did about Craig Huxley 's Blaster Beam, which was promptly used in Jerry Goldsmith's Star Trek The Motion Picture. I'm not sure why I'm getting all the traffic now about it, but here's a follow up I hope Michael Giacchino finds a way use it in the newest Star Trek movie. As I mentioned before, James Horner came around to using the Blaster Beam in his score of Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan. He didn't use the instrument as much as Goldsmith did in the first movie, but it is noticeable in a few tracks. (He also used it a little in Part III) The Genesis Countdown : You can hear it around the 1 minute mark in the track and is used later on for the bloody Khan's final speech. The Battle in the Mutara Nebula : I love this track and the use of the piccolo. This is probably Horner's best trek track on the CD. Listen carefully for it in this track, it's there. (It's too bad Ho...

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (Holy Crap this movie is going to suck) Make sure to check out the trailer . The movie comes out on February 27. The Slashfilm site has a few 'wonderful' clips up so make sure to watch them without laughing to much. This movie is going to be a masterpiece just like Mortal Kombat II the movie was. (Yeah right) So, do I have anything good to say about the movie? Uh, Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li is cute, so she fits the part. Other than that, nope. I think this movie will get a slight boost because of the new Street Fighter game and the fact lonely fanboys won't have much to do on a Friday night. Fanboys will get scenes like this... While Two Girls, One Bathroom sounds appealing, this clip is sort of awful. I enjoy watching two attractive women fitting, but something about this clip reminds me of Steven Seagal. I half expected Jason Statham to come out and start fighting.

I like how the ShamWow has 'Sham' right in the title. “I know Billy Mays, and you sir are no Billy Mays.” ___________________________ Top Five Hate List There are a lot of people that anger me, but these top five are the worst. 5. Sean Delonas : Yeah, He’s the guy that made the ‘Monkey’ cartoon about Obama. I have to agree with the Samurai Frog here. How could the artist not know that this was going to cause an uproar around the country? Didn’t they learn anything from the Curious George T-shirt incident? To call this guy an artist is a bit much. Most of his art is a bit shitty anyway. I think they knew going in that this would cause an outcry. What better way to sell newspapers in a falling newspaper market? 4. Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg : Yeah, I sat through Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans. I really can't call them movies per say. 3. The ShamWow guy (Vince Offer): Wow, he even has “offer” in his name. While he gets cred...

15. Can you sing the fight song? I not only can sing the fight song, I can still play it on a damn tuba. I had to play the song every Friday night for those damn football games. I hate that song. Our fight song was the same song as the University of Kentucky fight song. 16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Besides my band teacher (Mr. Hagan), I was really hated by most of the teachers. They called me a smart ass imagine that. 17. Where did you sit during lunch? I usually hated going to lunch because it generally reveal the social and class structure of the student body. Who you sat with revealed your importance to the student body. I chose to cut lunch and practice in the band room. 18. What was your school's full name? Eastern High School. C heck out the google map ! 19. When did you graduate? During the days of the Old Republic, when the Jedi were still around. 20. What was your school mascot? Our mascot was a damn eagle, The E...

Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor (revisited) Some decided to remix the already dance heavy song and somehow made the song even more techno-ry. Check it out here . Now, if someone can Mashup this song with the Christan Bale outburst rave mix, I'd be happy. This song is so catchy and really funny when you read the actual lyrics . ((Tell the players, make it understood It ain't no good if there's too much wood Make sure you know before you go The dance floor bro-hoe ratio Five to one is a brodeo Tell Steve and Mike it's time to go Wait outside all night to find Twenty dudes in a conga line)) And the best line is this one ((The only boobs I'll see tonight will be made of origami)) How exactly does one go about making Origami boobs? I'd like to know.

Fireproof (Who knew this movie was funny) Comment: The first thing that comes to my mind is; these people aren't actors. The other thing is: Why is Kirk Cameron ’s character so into porn? He seems to be kicking over his trashcans, yelling at his wife and watching porn on his computer. Here’s the synopsis: ((After seven years of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that they are ready to move on without each other. Yet as they prepare to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's dad asks his son to try an experiment: The Love Dare.)) I’ll wait for the Super Un-rated Edition. For some reason, when I see the title “Fireproof” I think of another direct-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie.

Random Things ~Newsflash: Valentine sucks for single people like me. We’re always reminded that we’re single on this stupid holiday. How about a day for single people? I’m not sure what to name it though. Anyway, screw Cupid. ~Please, Hollywood, don't give the Octuplets Mom a reality show . Learn from The Learning Channel and not even consider making a show around her. This woman, Nadya Suleman, is crazy and should have her litter taken away from her. Really, what's up with the bad Angelina Jolie face lift? Did a bee sting her on her lips? Take her 14 kids away and let her 15 minutes of 'fame' run out. ~ MC Hammer is getting a reality show, hopfully without the Oct-Mom . Do we need MC Hammer back on TV? Do you remember the last time he was on TV? The show was called Hammerman a nd it was a poorly drawn cartoon. Nothing good will come of this. ~ More info in the Casey Anthony cas e: The items from the woods where the body was found came from the ...

Flight of the Conchords: Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor I can’t stop laughing at this song and video. I like how they make fun all those annoying dance/trance songs from the 90’s, but there is a bit of Daft Punk in this song. Listen to the verses. Btw, there is a funny cameo by Randy Jones from the Village People when they do the Congo-Line. His appearance makes it even funnier. The rule is simple; dance clubs and parties should have a larger ratio of women to men in order for it to ‘pop off’. You’re competing against the other ‘dicks’.

"Pwned, Nancy." ____________________________ Bart Simpson is a Scientologist? Listen to this... This kind of thing just flew over my head the time it happened. And, I didn’t know anything about it. But, it seemed Bart Simpson did a few robocalls for the Space Church at the end of January . (( Bart Simpson's voice appeared in a phone recording advertising a Scientologist gathering in Hollywood that was clearly voiced by Nancy Cartwright )) Yep, Nancy (I gave over 10 million to the Space Church) Cartwright made the robocalls with Bart Simpson's voice. Well, of course the Internet ran with it and videos started to appear with the voice mall and pictures of Bart Simpson. ((Of course, the audio found its way to the Internet. 20th Century Fox has been scrambling to pull it off every corner of YouTube ever since Perez Hilton broke the story and Fox made him remove it. You can hear it here before Fox spoils the fun for the rest of us.)) Considering that ...

Behold the ‘new’ opening to the Simpsons. I haven't watched much of The Simpsons of late, with the exception of the movie, but that was the updated opening. There are a lot of small changes visually, plus some minor sound changes as well. Above is the new Main Title. I really do like the added animation and characters to the piece. Some people have started to dis it, but I really like the opening. Things start to get stale after a while, Everyone Star Trek show, except Voyager, changed their title opening. So, I see nothing wrong with fixing it up with the new HD stuff coming in. (Though I don't think FOX is broadcasting in true HD channels, but a slightly different format...) Look closely for Spider Pig from the movie. Make sure to check out the pan around scene that has been changed for this version . As another posters from digg stated, God appears to have five fingered hands, the Devil might too. That's pretty clever if true. I just love the cou...

Zombies in Texas http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,484326,00.html ((Chris Lippincott, director of media relations for the Texas Department of Transportation, confirmed that a portable traffic sign at Lamar Boulevard and West 15th Street, near the University of Texas at Austin, was hacked into during the early hours of Jan. 19.)) Sounds like another plot to the next Resident Evil videogame. I want to be prepared if there really are Zombies ahead. I want people to warn me of Vampires, Zombies and Werewolves.

One Missed Call One crap movie… I’ve never thought they could come up with this concept. Cells phones kill people. There are killer cell phones really? This movie is based on the Japanese horror film Chakushin Ari . Basically, a person receives a voice mail that tells their impending death. The doomed person begins to see ghosts before they die. The movie is a cross between Final Destination and The Ring , except with killer cell phones. It does neither of these concepts well. So, how dumb is One Missed Call ? At one point, a young lady is standing near a swimming pool and a zombie hand grabs her and sucks her into the swimming pool. It doesn’t end there, her cat sits by the pool confused and the zombie hand grabs the cat and sucks it into the pool too (?!). For a film based on a Japanese horror film, there isn’t much gore or creepy scenes. The direction and acting ranges from bland to downright horrible. There doesn’t seem to be any effort put into...

Flight of the Navigator ( Joey Cramer ) I just finished re-watching Flight of the Navigator, and the movie brings back so many fond memories of that time period. I remember watching it in the theater with my family. It was such a fun movie at the time, because I think every kid wanted to own his or her own time-traveling space ship. Anyway, there have been people actively trying to find Joey Cramer , the main kid in the movie, for some time now. After doing about five-six movies, Cramer kind of disappeared from the movie scene. Well, it looks like someone has found him . ( Check out the picture of him here today ) This blogger ha s greater details into where he's hiding. (Make sure to check the side by side comparison on her blog .) It looks like him, and seems to have fared better than many of these other child actor, with the exception of working in retail. Taken from the Blogger Bex ((Reader Mobius01, aka "Karl S.," linked us to a an answerbag post ent...

"High Five, Bro" ________________________ Improv Everywhere (These Guys are Good) I recently discovered these people through a comment section on Digg.com and I found their public Improv skits to be rather enjoyable. One of their best is the Food Court The best part is when the security guard shows. Check out the behind the scene info here . High Five on Escalator I need one of these. We all need a high five sometimes. I'd rather give a 'free' high five than a free hug. Make sure to read how this was done here . It is nice to see people's reactions to the whole thing. I like these guys.

More fun with Memes As a rule, I hate memes, but I enjoy making fun of them. Here be go again. IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR DID YOU... 1. Did you date someone from your school? No, and I’d like to thank you for bringing that painful memory up again as I type. Damn, the high school girls never looked my way when I in high school. I didn’t help matters by being an angry geek that kept to himself. I didn’t even brother going to my Senior Prom. 2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No, and I’m not married now. I would never marry anyone from my High School. I wasn’t a fan of the type of attitudes the girls had there. 3. Did you car pool to school? Wasn’t the school bus a form of car-pooling anyway? 4. What kind of car did you have? First, it was that damn yellow school bus. Then I got a 76 or 77 Monte Carlo car. Note: An old rusty Monte Carlo is never a babe magnet. 5. What kind of car do you have now? The DeLorean time machine . I’m going...

If you remember correctly, 80, 000 Comcast customers got a little, uh big surprise, when families gathered around the Boob Tube (Pun intended) and witnessed the Super Bowl game switch to a scene from porn! And, it was a bit shocking to see. You c an actually see the video here, but keep in mind it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK ! Here's my problem with the actually 'mistake'. There is no female nudity, it's all male, even though there is a smoking hot chick in the video clip (Tristan Kingsley and check out her post-Super Bowl fame here ). If you're going to have another sex Football scandal, at least show a boob or something, and not a flapping penis. We'll now it's being reported that our limited FBI resources are being 'poked' into the incident . (Check out the news source here ) ((The clip, which included full male nudity, was the result of a malicious act, Comcast said last week. )) So, someone did this on purpose. Doesn't the FBI have othe...