Dopefish watches Evan Stone

Dopefish watches Evan Stone

I love Evan Stone, in a non homosexual way, because he seems to truly enjoy his work. Plus, he's in every porn parody of mainstream work. Plus, he plays both Batman and Captain Kirk in most movies. Dopefish makes me laugh every time when he laughs.

Evan Stone is always funny in his scenes. Make sure to find the Justice League parody because he plays a great Batman. I started watching Dopefish because he played Day One: Garry's Incident.

Transformers: Age of Extinction, What, me worry?

Congratulations to Michael Bay for receiving a 100 million dollar opening for Transformers: Age of Extinction.  (300 million worldwide) I have no interest in seeing the movie. This is sort of sad because I am a huge fan of the old tv series. I remember running home after school to watch Transformers and GI Joe. It was one of the few things I look forward to after sitting through shitty school.  I LOVED the TFs and the toys.  Even today I have fond memories of the series and the toys.  

I should be happy that the franchise is stronger than ever. However, after the first TF live action movie, Michael just made the movies extensions of himself instead of being TF movies. After the last two movie, I now know the movies aren't for TF fans, but for the “cooler” mass audiences and that's fine. I just won't go out to see the movie. I will catch it on TV though.

By the way, I love the Dinobots, but even they won't bring me into theater to see the movie.  

Casino Pooper: He left some of his own brown chips on the floor. (yuck)

Casino Floor: This guy is the shit...literally

Warning, do not click on the link at work or if you don't like seeing a grown man taking a shit on a floor.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=7dd_1403962654

I won't place the video on this blog, because it has nudity and it does involve close encounter of the brown kind. But, I do have some questions.

Was the winning streak so good that he couldn't break himself away for restroom break?

How does someone poop on the floor like that?

Was the poop a form of currency for the casino? A peace offering?

Was he not aware that there are cameras everywhere in casinos?

I love that he drops the poop on the floor, doesn't wipe, and goes back to the slot machine. It also looks like he checks his phone before doing his duty. He then proceeds to leave as if nothing happened.

I mean really. Who the f' does this?

By the way, it looks like they didn't catch this guy from what the voice over guy says on the video.  

Random Things

Random Things

~New Sight new day: I've gotten my new glasses and I am really digging them. While most people are saying I look scholarly in them, I certainly don't feel it. However, my eye sight is better. I can see further than before. I made it a point to not get hipster glasses or Malcolm X versions. 

 ~Reading Rainbow Rebirth?: I know that a lot of people give Seth MacFarlane a lot of shit over the years, but he did something good this time with giving 1 million bucks to the kickstarter program. I grew up watching RR and it probably got me into writing and imagination. The app will be able to be used over many classrooms for free now. I am glad they're bringing this show back.

~Shia LaBeouf, what are you doing, man? 

 ~Pocket dialing: I pocket dialed my brother last week and didn't know it. I was listening to Sonic the Hedgehog remixes at the time, so he got to listen to a lot music on his voice mail. He sent me a text being totally baffled by what he heard. That was when I realized what I had done. I'm always worried I might pocket dial someone while watching porn...loudly. That wouldn't be good for anyone. Keep your phone on lock-down for real. 

 ~Sherri Shepherd and Jenny McCarthy leave the view: I've never been a fan of either Shepherd or McCarthy. But, I've come to really hate McCarthy more over the years. She claims to be funny and sexy, but people for her version of “Freddy Got Fingered” Dirty Love. Yes, she wrote and starred in that piece of crap. Then there is the anti-vaccine movement she's involved in that really pisses me off. I can't believe people follow her bullshit. I really can't stand her at all. Why did they hire her for the view?

Dude gets stuck in a giant Vagina...in Germany

Dude gets stuck in a giant Vagina...in Germany

Some of the headlines for this story are very funny. Just Google the story. Everything about this story seems kinky, but fitting (pun intended). It happened in Germany, one point. They have giant vagina sitting in the streets, one point. An American student tried to enter the vagina, double points. A whole bunch of fire fighters had to get him out, triple points.

“I've entered and I can't get out!”:  Is that a smile or a grimace 

The best part of the story is the reaction from the fire department. From NY Daily News, ((Five fire trucks and 22 firefighters were needed to help slide the man — who'd become lodged in by his legs — to freedom. ))

So, how did this guy get into this predicament? He wanted to pose for it for a photo. Well, he got his chance. He got what he deserved I guess.

Well, if I am going to die, being crushed by a giant vagina is probably the best way.  

All the king's horses and all the king's men...

Star Wars: Episode VIII Directed by Rian Johnson

Star Wars: Episode VIII Directed by Rian Johnson

From Deadline.com, ((In a bombshell move, I’m told that Lucasfilm is making a deal with Looper writer-director Rian Johnson to write and direct Star Wars Episodes VIII and IX.  ))

This news makes me happy. Part of the problem with the prequels was that Lucas refused to release the director duties to other people. Lucas really isn't a good director, so I love to see JJ and Rian get a chance to helm these movies.

He hasn't done that many movies, but I like what I've seen from him.

The Brothers Bloom  : I really love this movie. Everything about this movie works. It is a cute movie.

Looper  : I am certain this is the reason he got the Star Wars gig. Sure there are problems with the script, but overall Looper was an enjoyable sci-fi movie.

Anyway, I am happy with these decisions as long as they keep George far, far away.  JJ is a good starting off point and Johnson is nice way of finishing it.  I also like the choices they've made for the side movies.  Now, if Disney can get this Ant Man movie off the ground without more trouble...

Dov Charney, how to get fired from your own company

Dov Charney, you stupid fool

Well, Steve Jobs managed to get fired from Apple.  

I've wrote some post about American Apparel in the past. In the strange ad campaigns, I never understood why you would focus on people getting naked when your whole job is getting people clothed. He would hire pornstar, who's whole job was getting naked, to promote their clothing company. (I'm all for more Faye Reagan AA ads, but it just seems counter-clothing to me.)

To put it frankly, the guy comes across as being a douche. There were a lot of stories of sexual harassment and stories of him going around his office naked.

Now, he's gotten himself into so much trouble that AA finally fired his ass...literally his “ass”. From Newsweek.com, ((He also sometimes provided corporate apartments to friends and stayed in them himself when he wasn’t on company business, according to this person. ))

Yes, that's bit of a problem. But...this douche hipster has a video going around with him completely naked in front of other employees at work.

What the hell lead up to this douche getting naked? In what universe is it okay to stroll around naked at work?  

There was also information surfacing about Dov letting some photos be released. From NY Times, ((The company’s board learned early this year that Mr. Charney had known of an employee’s plans to publish naked photographs of a former American Apparel worker, Irene Morales, on the Internet. ))

Everything about this guy seems sleazy. Heck even porn producers would say he's doing too much. Anyway, he's going to have to look for another job...with his clothes on. If you believe in karma, this is payback for being such a sleaze.

Andrea the Beach attacker

Andrea the Beach attacker

This 17 year old was flying his drone around the beach taking videos of the scenery. Some woman sunbathing, look I don't know the proper term because I'm black and we don't usually sit out in the sun to get darker. That just happens just standing out in the sun.

The smartest thing this kid did was record himself, because he would have went to jail instead of her. They would have taken her word over his, but the camera doesn't lie. I love she puts in a wrestling move that The Rock would jealous. “I'm going to beat your ass,” she says.

I'm sure passerby folk thought they were just making out, just a little rougher.  This lady has some serious strengh.  She nearly rips off his shirt...Hulk Hogan style.    

She had an ax to grind, so she took on this teenager. I am usually for someone taking on a pervert, when justified. But, this woman seems to really want to put this kid in jail no matter the cost. I'm all for public shaming strange perverts, but you picked the wrong horse in this fight. (I'm mixing metaphors aren't I?)

The right way...

From Foxct.com, ((left New Haven Superior Court after agreeing to apply for accelerated rehab, which is essentially a probationary period where she can’t get into any more trouble, and then her charges would likely be dropped.

Read more: http://foxct.com/2014/06/19/woman-from-viral-drone-video-appears-in-court/#ixzz35MPI2znF ))

Why am I hearing that rehab song in my head.  

Guy punches Boost Mobile Store Clerk in the face

Guy punches Boost Mobile Store Clerk in the face

Yes, that was brutal. First off, this guy is a real scum bag and should get the shit beat out of him. You're going to punch a woman in the face to grab money. Most robbers threaten a person with violance in order to get what they want, but you had to take it a step further, asshole. I hope this guy rots in jail forever.

Second, this clerk should have had another person on the floor instead of in the back. Usually, you'll see a couple of worker inside a Gamestop working or talking to person. An unarmed lone robber isn't as likely to rob a place. She is also pregnant too.

After the police released the video, they did catch this guy.

From PNJ.com, ((Johnson was charged with felony battery, strong-arm robbery and burglary. He has a lengthy history of arrests for forgery and grand theft dating back to 1990, according to court records. ))

Kim Jong Un is pissed at Seth Rogan and James Franco

Kim Jong Un is pissed at Seth Rogan and James Franco

I knew that we'd get a response from the “hermit” country. From Telegraph, ((Kim Myong-chol, executive director of The Centre for North Korea-US Peace and an unofficial spokesman for the regime in Pyongyang, was dismissive. ))

What did they think of Team America, where Un's father was portrayed as a war-loving alien using a human body? Look, we knew there was going to be an amusing response, but this one is up there.

From Telegraph UK, (("A film about the assassination of a foreign leader mirrors what the US has done in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria and Ukraine," he added. "And let us not forget who killed [President John F.] Kennedy – Americans.

"In fact, President [Barack] Obama should be careful in case the US military wants to kill him as well," Kim Myong-chol said.))

Okay, now we know at least Un has seen JFK on Blu-Ray. I love that real leaders get sensitive about an obvious parodies of themselves.  Then again, this movie is all about killing Un.  So, he shouldn't find it amusing. 

Yes, he's in a room full of dicks...white fake dicks.  (they're mushrooms, close enough)

Let's take a look at what North Korea cinema has to offer.

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts

~It been a better week overall. Still kind of pissed, but better...

~My Little Pony and Chrono Trigger: Somehow this YouTube Poop works as a nice remix.

I still haven't got a clue why grown men are really into My Little Pony. This works and here is the remix from piano.

Nice move, JJ.  That was very neat.  

~Jedi Hunters in the new Star Wars movie?: There are reports that there will be Jedi Hunters, which use lightsabers. I am really loving everything that's coming out about these movies in rumor form. First, some of the old cast will be returning, and then they will be using actual sets and locations instead of green screens. I hope this rumor is true.

~Even more Sonic 3/Michael Jackson involvement: I will be writing story about MJ's involvement in Sonic 3's music with some new info being released.  

Bikini Spring Break (2012)

Bikini Spring Break (2012)

Our heroes, everyone. 

Holy smokes this is a bad movie. This movie showed up on Showtime and I decided to watch it because it had “Bikini” in the title. That always means it has tons of nudity and no storyline. Back in the 90s every shitty movie threw in “Bikini” in the title. To my surprise, the studio The Asylum produced this movie. I had no idea the same studio that makes those Shark vs. whatever movies. Asylum can't even make a boob-comedy correctly. Why would Asylum even bother making a boob comedy in the age of online porn? It is going to come across as too tame for most of its target audience.

Basically, it is about a group of Junior College marching band members finding their way to Florida. One of the chicks puts gasoline in their bus and ruins the engine. So, they are stuck in this town with no money. They spend most of their time getting naked in their misadventures.

The movie is dumb even by the 90s nude-comedy standards. It feels like this movie wants to a throwback to those 90s, but fails at even that. It is cheaper than those films. The nude scenes aren't that good and the jokes are bad.

There are these strange nude montages that happen whenever they think up a way to make money. They really have nothing to do with the plot, but just gives us an excuse to see them naked or in bikinis. Look, I'm not trying to say I am looking for a coherent story in a nude-comedy, but come on.

At one point, all of the band mates decide to join a robotic bull-riding competition, with the men. Whoever stays on the bull long enough receives the prize money. Virginia Petrucci, the redhead, stays on the longest, but the bull proceeds to throw her clothes off. While I think Petrucci is the hottest out of the group, there is no way a robotic bull can remove someone's clothes. I can't believe I am trying to find logic in a damn Binki movie. I am getting old.

The only one that is remotely funny is Robert Carradine as Coach Gill because he doesn't give two shits about the movie or even the role. He knows he's in a bad movie and doesn't care.

Avoid this movie and it is not even worth it for the boobs.

Grade: F-  

 Carradine not giving a shit.

_________________________________________________________________

 Wet t-shirt contest, check. 

________________________________________________________________

Babes in a locker room, check. 

That Racist Woman reminded me of this video three years ago...

That Racist Woman reminded me of this video three years ago...

She uses the n-word and then attacks him. Why would she attack the mailman? The best part is the sound guy's noise when he gets hits. And, why did she mention “you all killed MLK”. Uh, it was actually Malcolm X. Fellow black people killed him. A white man killed MLK.

I also like that she tries to school him after she strikes him.

This went viral just like the stripper video.   

Jaden Smith as Batman at a wedding

Jaden Smith as Batman at a wedding

I read and heard about this weeks ago, but I figured I'd talk about it right now. Jaden Smith decided it would be a good idea to go to Kanye and Kim's wedding dressed fully as Batman...Wedding Batman. Look, Batman is cool and everything, but this is outrageous (truly truly) and down right stupid. If you're going to a theme wedding, then it is okay to dress as Batman.

It should also be noted that Jaden also dress in full Iron Man digs earlier in the year. And, I mean full Iron Man gear.

I guess growing up as a rich kid, you never had someone tell you what is or isn't right to wear. Anyway, Jaden and his sister seem to be caught up inanother cult right along with the Scientology one. Look, Jaden, you probably have more in common with Xenu than Batman or Iron Man.     

Yes, that's Joe Francis, the biggest D-bag ever.  Somehow, everything about this guy gives me chills.  

Dead Island 2 Trailer

Dead Island 2 Trailer

This is probably one of the most amusing trailers I've seen for a video game in a long time. This was shown at the Sony Press Conference at E3.

-I love that the jogger already has a bite mark on his wrist, but doesn't seem to be too concerned.

-I have to wonder if this trailer is a nod to the GTA series.

-I love that the jogger is a total d-bag. He gestures to that chick on rollerstakes right before she gets attacked by zombies.

-I really smiled when he turns into a zombie and jogs with the rest of the zombies. It is almost like Thriller.

-Please note that the woman on the skates is now a zombie. She also survives the van attack.

-Wilhelm Scream! Listen for it.

-Jack Black and Aaron Paul?: Is that their voices at the end? It clearly sounds like Jack Black.

-They steal a zombie's shoes.  

The whole trailer is just funny.  

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts

~Things aren't great, but they aren't worst either. I will be getting some new glasses in the coming weeks, so I am looking forward to that. I usually don't talk about my work on this blog, but...I pretty much hate every minute at work. I hate being around most of the people and I just all around don't like the company. I am not sure how much more I can take of being with this company. The only problem is I get paid very well for my seniority and good health benefits. I'm not in a good place at this time, but I still keeping on...so to speak.

~Iraq and you thought we were done: Basically, the militants from Syria are advancing into Iraq very close to Baghdad. These radical guys see Iraq as being ripe for the taking and this could turn out to be an all out civil war. Man, I hope things don't get worst, because that means we'll be right back in. 

  ~Arsenio Hall's show canceled after one run of shows: I used to love watching Arsenio's show way back in the day. I remember everyone wanted to be on the show and everyone talked about his show. I was a little confused as to why they would bring him back for another round. Hall was a throwback to that time period (MC Hammer and Ice Ice Baby), so people will always see him as part of that era. They picked up his new show for a new season and they came back around and canceled it. That meant he didn't get to say Goodbye...again. The show just ended. TV Guide has a good story about the reasons it failed to capture its crowd back. Remember that show his was on called Martial Law which was a cheaper version of Rush Hour? They should have called it Rush Hour The Series. 

 ~Darkseid will be the new Villain in the Justice League movie: Okay, DC finally did something right. Darkseid is one of those bad ass characters that can pretty much take on the entire League. I think only Doomsday can take on Darkseid. By the way, I loved what they did with him in the Superman and Justice League cartoon series. He was there all the way to end of the series. I also like that it was Lex Luthor that technically defeated Darkseid and not Superman. Also, did I mention he has an entire legion of people that treat him like a god? This decision they got right.

Gamer live streaming gets robbed

Gamer live streaming gets robbed

You can clearly hear her say, “Was that a knock?” before they enter. I'm guessing that was the thugs knocking down the door. You can also see her boyfriend heading to the door to investigate before the shouting. Folks, this would have scared me shit-less.

-Is that Glados speaking in the game?

-I now want to play this damn thing. 

-One thug tells the lady, he doesn't have a boner while looking at her.  That's just creepy. 

- "On the ground, now!" Uh, you mean floor.   

Smart thinking on the other gamers' part that saved these people's lives. From Metro, ((A gamer in Europe, who witnessed the alleged robbery, then contacted a friend of Sajeden who called 911. ))

For their part, the local police reacted swiftly and sent a team to confront the robbers. One of them got away, but one was caught.

I mean look at this “lovely” human being. He looks totally confused, What the F' just happened?

You just got your ass handed to you by some gamers, bitch.  By the way, look at this guy's ears.  He could probably hear the future...the distant future.  (I can't remember who made the joke first.)  There are no Phoenix Downs where you're going, buddy.  

Having something stolen from me, I get very pissed about people that steal other people's things. And, a home invasion is the lowest of those creeps.  The dumb thing is they came into an apartment that had gun owners.  They could have been shot.  

This Sajedene person is very big in the DOTA 2 gaming world. So, it was good to see some of her fellow gamers looking out for her.  We kind of get caught up in all the bullshit that is going on in the gaming world, so it is good to see gamers looking out for each other.  

Random Things

Random Things

~FIFA the evil empire: I love John Oliver and he pretty much tells the truth about FIFA. And, most Americans only know about FIFA from the video games, which people consider pretty good even though most people don't watch soccer. I hate organized sports, but I have zero interest in soccer (football).

~Christina Pascucci is “f'ing” hot: Okay, drunk guy, she is hot, but you're stating the obvious. I got a laugh out of her reaction to the “butt in” by the crazy drunk person. I love you, Google, because when I did a image search for Christina, and I got suggestions for Christina Hendricks. If you've read my blog long enough, you are aware that I am really into Christina Hendricks.

~Nicholas Cage has an Art Show: I had no idea bad shit and campy shit could be displayed as “art”. Any good will toward Nic Cage has turned into contempt. I want this to be as terrible and shitty as I see Nic Gage. I want there to be a random guy, on display, yelling “I am Caster Troy!” There should be a pair of flaming skulls on display for his two Ghost Rider movies. There needs to be some random National Treasure hidden around the area. And, let's have that bear suit from the Wicker Man and those bees.   

The Running Man (thoughts)

The Running Man (thoughts)

I remember watching this movie on video way back in the day. While it does hold up as well as some of Arnold's other movies from that era, it still has that 80s charm to it. It feels part WWF and part video game. Some of that gets abandoned half way through the stage with Arnold meeting up with resistance. The last portion of the third act falls apart for me. It felt like they didn't know what to do with the concept of The Running and just folded it into a resistance fight.

Also, for everything they get right with the future setting, there are things that have held up as well technology-wise. The workout equipment and the TV screens just don't work.

Overall, it is still fun to watch an R-rated Arnold movie from the 80s.

No comment.  I got nothing to say...

-Maria Conchita Alonso : Damn she is fine in this movie. I remember she was the go to latina lady in Hollywood. Her 80s shoulder padded dresses don't hold up though. I don't think those dress suits are ever going to come back.

Yaphet Kotto : Hey, I am attached to movies just to die. If you need a black guy to die in interesting ways, get Kotto. He has died in everything. James Bond, an Alien and this villain from this movie has killed him. He's the black Sean Bean.

- Richard Bachman as King: Later publications listed Stephen King as the proper writer of the story that movie is based on. The movie credits list it as Bachman. King used Bachman for some of his sci-fi works. I remember King being hot during the late 80s. Why not sell it as King movie? From what IMDB says, no one knew Bachman was King. That's pretty amusing.

-IMDB says that Richard Dawson was pretty much like his character in the movie, that being a major prick. I really like Dawson's character because he was such an asshole. Best line, “Only in re-runs”.

-I had no idea Rob Cohen was a producer on this film. Given this movie is better than most of the movies he's directed himself that's saying a lot. Rob Cohen has made a lot shit over the years.

-Pen to the back: I always laugh when Arnold jams the pen into the back of the wormy lawyer. The actor really sells the pain and shock of having a pen embedded to his back.

-Second best line: “ Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero. ”

-Dynamo (the fat one) is a total perv: Yeah, he tries to rape the leading lady in the hallway in third act. He tries to do this during the freaking riot when all hell is breaking loose. Why? This is one of things that doesn't hold up and comes across as just down right wrong to put in the movie. By the way, in the second act, he shocks Maria through her boobs. I am not making this up watch it again. Why did they animate the energy that way?

-Ben Richards (Arnold) is kind of a jerk compared to most of Arnold's roles. He really isn't a hero and forces Maria to go along with his deception in the first act. I really like that he's such a prick to everyone in the story, like the lawyer/agent guy or Dawson at the end.

TLC vs Rihanna

Okay, Rihanna, you won this one...

TLC decided to take a jab at Rih for always showing a lot of skin. Yet, TLC did a lot of that as well.

From Yahoo Music, (("We became the biggest girl selling group of all time with our clothes on and that says a lot," she added. "We could go around too with booby cakes [breasts] out all day long," she said. ))

While I'll take TLC over Rih any day because TLC has talent, TLC really has no room to talk. Everyone remembers that extremely sexy photo shoot where they stood topless with their hands over their “booby cakes”. And, I'll take Chilli over Rih any day too. But, Rih posted the picture over her header via Twitter when she heard the diss.

And, I get what TLC is saying too. Rih went to an award show nearly completely naked.  For me, I really don't like all the fetish stuff she wears.  You don't need all that bullshit when you have a nice body. 

Look I am not taking sides.  When hot women decide to bare it all, we all win. But, damn Rih has a point. For the good of mankind here are a few of those photos of TLC.  

If you ever want to talk to a scrub, call me Chilli 

By the way, be careful on what you find when you type TLC Naked or TLC group naked into Google Image Search.  I discovered TLC covers a lot of nude ground.  Oh boy...

Vince Offer sells more shit: InVinceable

 Vince Offer sells more shit: InVinceable

First off, Vince is looking a little heavier. I guess he hasn't been using his slap chop that much.

-Great, he's not using his name as a gimmick for his products.

-Isn't this just a copy of Oxi Clean?

-Period blood?: Really. You actually went there? Hey, he makes a penis joke too!  I can't believe he got away with this one without there being an outcry.  I guess no one really cares about the Shamwow dude anymore.  

-Now, we're using CGI to clean up things, Vince?

- “Relax, I've done dirtier things than this.” Like joining a crazy space cult?   

-As stated in the comment section here, it looks like Vince is sick besides being heavier.  Maybe a certain "space church" is putting something in his water...(it is a joke, don't sue me space church people.  Whew) 

I can see it now.  Vince sells Sea Monkeys.  Vince Monkeys?  

 This one pill will totally dissolve an unwanted body real quick.  

___________________________________________________________

Just slap a lab coat on some extras and they look like scientist.  

Street walkers rob prank guy

Watch the second woman. She distracts him while the other one goes in to grab his cell phone. The white hooker picks up the phone and proclaims, “I got to go pee”. Real smooth, these girls have done this numerous times. The other two hookers try to keep him there so the while hooker can get away.

They should have turned this into the cops and because they got the whole recorded.

Now, every man and woman should know what they're getting into when paying for a hooker. They may rob you. By the way, who were the dudes hanging out near them? Pimps?

Also, never keep anything in your back pockets. Keep everything in your front pockets.