Probably the coolest man ever...drunk (To the window to the wall)

Probably the coolest man ever...drunk (To the window to the wall)

I hope someone will find this guy and give him a record deal. Where did he dig up the memory, while drunk, to sing a 2003 crunk (Krunk?) song?

This is the reason I never touch alcohol. I am not sure what random shit I might say in an uncontrolled form. For all I know, I might start singing Kenny Loggins songs.

To the window to the wall...

Philip Seymour Hoffman RIP

Philip Seymour Hoffman RIP

I am pretty upset with this news.  This guy was an amazing actor.  He played bad and good guys equally well.  You can tell that Philip really enjoyed playing the various roles.  It seems his demons got the better of him.  And, it is another reminder of the toll addiction takes on people.  

What about his great role in Mission Impossible III?

His monologue in MI3 is wonderfully evil. 

I loved watching this dude act.  He was the one that taught me the term “Sharted”

Probably his most head turning role recently has to be his character in The Master where he played a version of L. Ron Hubbard.  That role is so freaking great that it put a smile on my face because of how close he role was to Hubbard. 

Anyway, he will be missed. 

Twister:  Yep, he was one of the storm chaser crew members. 

Boogie Nights: He played the behind the scenes guys in the porn shoots.  He was a closeted gay man that beat himself up for letting his homosexuality out.  There are some great scenes with him and he nearly steals the show.

Red Dragon: Isn’t he the guy that gets murdered by the main killer in a wheel chair? 

Along Came Polly: “Let it rain!”  He’s great as the has-been child actor. 

Mission: Impossible III

Update on that Post Game Interrupter

Update on that Post Game Interrupter 

 He was arrested, though it looked like he got away with it, for trespassing And his name is Matthew Mills. People did some digging on the guy and it looks like he wasn't some random kook just running up the camera.

He had no ticket or real pass, just an out of date pass. He was able to get through gates of security using the “I'm late for the interview” bit with the security letting him in. Here's the funny part, someone is claiming that he went to school with him on Twitter and has a high school year book picture of him. 

 Given that he likes Tommy Boy and Austin Powers, he seems like a normal kid. I guess the 9/11 truther stuff gave him a purpose.

As I said before, I don't believe the 9/11 conspiracy thing because you take away from the fact that just a small group of people can cause so much damage. Because they put their minds to it, they were able to take down so much stuff. They are a threat and we know it. Placing the blame on the government just takes away the seriousness of religious extremism.

The government got caught with its pants down. 

Has the government overstepped it bounties? Yes, as a response to 9/11 not because they caused it.

Super Bowl Post Game troll?

Super Bowl Post Game troll?

If there were things like this happening during the actual game, I'd probably watch the Super Bowl. But, as it stands, I haven't seen a single Bowl game in probably 15 years. I watch the ads post game through Google.

Here we go again...all this 9/11 conspiracy bull crap. And, why do it on a post game show? I know you want to bring attention to your cause, but the “message” will fly over their heads for the most part. Most people are there to watch a game. There are other ways to bring attention to your cause than jumping in front of a muscle head.

I also like the expression of deep confusion on the part of the football player. “Uh, what?”

The Golden Raspberry Nominations Part 3

The Golden Raspberry Nominations Part 3

The end.

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off or Sequel

After this scene, people in Hazmat suits gathered up the sheets and burned them at high temperatures.  Never has there been a larger collection of bugs and STDs ever. 

 

Grown Ups 2 : The first one made a lot of money back in the day. What is interesting is Adam Sandler usually doesn't do sequels to his movies. I believe this might be his first true sequel. However many of his films do happen in the same shared universe. I am not making this up. Characters from some of movies will show up in other movies.

The Hangover Part III (Warner Bros.) : After watching the second one, I really had no desire to watch another one. I actually loved the first one, but the second one was just a carbon copy. I am just glad to see this franchise finally end.

The Lone Ranger (remake of past Lone Rangers): Maybe this will work as a gritty cable tv show instead of a big movie. However, Hell on Wheel struggled

Scary Movie 5 (The Weinstein Company) : This one should win. End this series. The spoof genre has been f'ed out thanks to the cheap movies of late like Date Movie and Disaster Movie.

The Smurfs 2 (Columbia/Sony Animation) : Who knew that a watched up show from the 80s would be so huge to make at least two sequels? Of course, I am joking. Everything that was popular in the 80s is being commissioned for a movie franchise. I feel old.

Worst Director 

Worst than his role in Steel or Freddy Got Fingered?

 Dennis Dugan for Grown Ups 2: He started out as a TV director on some impressive shows from the 80s and 90s. I am not making this up. It was around the 2000s when it turned to crap. The Benchwarmers I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry You Don't Mess with the Zohan and Jack and Jill.

Tyler Perry for A Madea Christmas and Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor : I am still waiting for Madea goes to Oz or Space.

M. Night Shyamalan for After Earth : Is M Night is still planning on making that Airbender 2 movie? Has After Earth destroyed even that dream? He might actually be done now. Then again I heard he's working with Bruce Willis again.

The 13 people (Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill, Steve Carr, Rusty Cundieff, James Duffy, Griffin Dunne, Peter Farrelly, Patrik Forsberg, Will Graham, James Gunn, Bob Odenkirk, Brett Ratner, and Jonathan van Tulleken) who directed Movie 43 : That's a lot of people.

Gore Verbinski for The Lone Ranger : Did you know that he was tasked with directing BioShock the movie? I remember reading the stories. It all fell through. I still am not sure a movie version can work. Oh, and I enjoyed the first two Pirates movies.

Worst Screenplay

After Earth (screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan and Gary Whitta, story by Will Smith): From what I read, this was really Smith's story from the get go and MNS and Whitta just fleshed it out.

Grown Ups 2 (screenplay by Adam Sandler, Tim Herlihy and Fred Wolf) : There was a script...a plot? The first one didn't have one. Whenever Adam's character has a lot of sex or hot wives, then it was mostly written by him. He has to be the alpha male. That seems to be a big difference between his later work and his early stuff.

The Lone Ranger (screenplay by Justin Haythe, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, story by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio and Justin Haythe, based on Lone Ranger by Fran Striker and George W. Trendle) : When you see this many writers attached to a script, the ones that are credited, there has to be a problem in the production. We're not even talking about the ones that probably did unofficial rewrites. Keep in mind an entire subplot was removed from the movie before filming started. It was about werewolves.

A Madea Christmas (written by Tyler Perry)

Movie 43 (written by Steve Baker, Ricky Blitt, Will Carlough, Tobias Carlson, Jacob Fleisher, Patrik Forsberg, Will Graham, James Gunn, Claes Kjellstrom, Jack Kukoda, Bob Odenkirk, Bill O'Malley, Matthew Alec Portenoy, Greg Pritikin, Rocky Russo, Olle Sarri, Elizabeth Wright Shapiro, Jeremy Sosenko, Jonathan van Tulleken and Jonas Wittenmark)

The Golden Raspberry Nominations Part 2

The Golden Raspberry Nominations Part 2

Worst Supporting Actor

 Chris Brown in Battle of the Year as Rooster: Yeah, Brown really “beat out” a lot people for this role. All jokes aside, did anyone even see this dance movie? Aren't these hip-hop dance movies out of style?

Larry the Cable Guy in A Madea Christmas as Buddy: People, stop giving this one trick pony work. First that Pixar movie and now this thing. Stop just stop, Larry. I hope he wins because he might actually show up to receive the award.

Taylor Lautner in Grown Ups 2 as Frat Boy Andy : This guy is still acting?

Will Smith in After Earth as Cypher Raige : Again, I like Will Smith when he not hawking his crazy religious beliefs and his talentless children. However, having M. Knight and the smell of Battlefield Earth on your movie simply doesn't help. And, where was your rap song tie-in? Wiki Wild Wild After Earth.

Nick Swardson in Grown Ups 2 and A Haunted House as Nick Hilliard and Chip the Psychic (respectively): Crap, talk about a guy that is constantly unfunny, yet still gets a lot of work. This guy is really bad. He's like the poor man's Jamie Kennedy.

Worst Supporting Actress

Stick to making shitty dance music.

Salma Hayek in Grown Ups 2 as Roxanne Chase-Feder : I love me some Salma. She is one hot number, but she isn't helping her cause by showing up in Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2. She'll probably win because I think she's gotten a few nods years before. This woman is amazing.

Katherine Heigl in The Big Wedding as Lyla Griffin : Having a diva like attitude without the talent will hurt your career. Now, Heigl is starring in cough medicine ads on TV. Heigl career is really bad and this is another misstep. She really needs to use a phoenix down on her career.

Kim Kardashian in Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor as Ava : Someone told her she was an actress. Sorry, people spend years just to get rejected for parts. Remember, she's done one of those really bad spoof movies as well and she was terrible in that as well. I hope she wins this as well.

Lady Gaga in Machete Kills as Third Face of El Chameleon : No one saw Machete Kills. It went through the theater with little to no fanfare. I liked the first one but didn't bother to see this one. Why was Gaga in this?

Lindsay Lohan in InAPPropriate Comedy and Scary Movie 5 as Herself and Herself (respectively) : When she's spoofing herself and still does a poor job, it might be time to hang it up for a while. She IS the joke now. Remember her early roles before she got drugged up ugly?

Worst Screen Combo

The entire cast of Grown Ups 2 : Just an excuse to hang out with friends and balloon the budget up to 80 million dollars. This is really a sticking point for me. Comedies are supposed to be a way for studios to make back their money on bigger projects. I just want to know where the money was spent. Then you throw in those endorsements as well.

The entire cast of Movie 43 : Not sure why anyone sign up for this train wreck.

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen in Scary Movie 5 : Yeah, you're scraping the bottom of the bowl for this shit. Two of the most set-centered drunks in one movie, how can it go wrong?

Tyler Perry and either Larry the Cable Guy or that worn out wig and dress in A Madea Christmas : It might be time to give the Madea franchise a rest for a while.

Jaden Smith and Will Smith on planet nepotism in After Earth : Shit just got real, yo.

I was touched by CCOKC...in a special way

I was touched by CCOKC...in a special way

Couldn't agree more. Child Celebrities Opposing Kirk Cameron. Look, Cameron is a douche and has only gotten worst with age. He truly believes this shit.  BTW, was that old sitcom really that good?

Thumbs up for the Omar (The Wire) shout out. 

Hat tip to Reddit videos. 

I wonder if they would have gotten Gary Coleman if he was still alive? 

That's 300 days in jail

That's 300 days in jail

300 days, enjoy that stay.

I love that she was angry with the notion of leaving her home when the other people show up to the house. Does she know how to keep your mouth shut.? She doesn't realize how bad it is to spend time in jail compared to prison. Jails are short term and prisons are long term and built for that.  I have a family member that is spending an extended period in jail not prison. 

The fact she knows about commissary means she's been in jail/prison a few times.

Learn to keep your mouth shut and not get the last word in and stop acting ghetto while in court. The judge is the king when he's in his courtroom. 

Did she want to stay in jail instead of paying rent?  

Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode 2 Trailer

Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode 2 Trailer

-Atlas in the flesh: We finally get to see the version of Atlas as the workers' leader in the flesh. Though we already know he's someone else...(clears throat) Fontaine.

-Don't trust Atlas, Elizabeth.

-The Little Sister survived: So, she wasn't roasted like a turkey.

-Booker is a ghost?: It appears this Booker is ghost that knows everything.

-So Atlas gets back to the surface and starts his civil war.   

Scarf Guy is an a

Scarf Guy is an ass

Hey, Scarf Guy, just because you're on camera doesn't mean you have to mug for it. Not every moment is a opportunity to mug you trendy hipster. Keep in mind this happened during the mall shooting press conference.

Nice hair, a-hole.

Maybe I hate this guy for his style choices and attitude as well.

The Golden Raspberry Nominations Part 1

The Golden Raspberry Nominations are here

Because I love to shit on shitty work, here are a few of the noms and my commentary on them. These are the movies from 2013.

Worst Picture

After Earth  : Holy, crap did everyone take a dump on this movie. I hate the fact that Will Smith keeps trying to shove his untalented children in our faces and failing. And, don't get me started with the Scientology bullshit meshed into the story as well. Smooth move, Will. I like you will, but you need to move away from that religion for your own good. And, I love that the studio went out of its way to remove M. Knight from all promotional materials. They asked everyone not to mention that M. Knight was directing. Uh, you all hired him.

Grown Ups 2  : Did anyone ask for a sequel to the plot-less first movie? Adding Shaq to your movie also doesn't help either. Now the movie made a lot of money worldwide, but why exactly was the budget 80 million bucks? Really, Sandler?

The Lone Ranger : Did you hear that? That was the sound of a 250 million dollar turd hitting the ground. The budget was even bigger, but Disney forced the production to remove a werewolf subplot. That should tell you the kind of mess this movie turned out to be. The best part of the shit storm is Depp blamed the American critics for the failure...while on tour outside North America. Sorry, people didn't go see your film, because they weren't interested. If critics had that much power, all Sandler movies would be flops.

A Madea Christmas : Somehow, Perry has made the Medea movies progressively worst with every release. I can't attack Perry for taking full control over his movies, but why did he hire Larry the Cable guy for this one?

Movie 43  : I had no idea there were 42 other movies in the series. All jokes aside, I've heard nothing but bad things about the movie. I see it in the Netflix menu, but I can't click it out of sheer shame.

For me, I think After Earth or Grown Ups 2 should win the title of worst movie.

Worst Actor

Johnny Depp in The Lone Ranger as Tonto: I am not even going to touch the whole race thing. However, isn't Depp just channeling his Pirates character in this role?

Ashton Kutcher in Jobs as Steve Jobs : Wow, no one really watched this movie did they? That's what you get when you cast Kutcher in the role. People aren't going to take it seriously. It feels like they were trying to channel the Social Network and failed.

Adam Sandler in Grown Ups 2 as Lenny Feder : Lazy with a lazy character right? All his characters are Guy-Dude-Bro characters that are loveable. In real life, these guys are douche bags.

Jaden Smith in After Earth as Kitai Raige : Jaden, just stop acting. Okay you were good in the Karate Kid, but stop. Smith should win, but he won't

Sylvester Stallone in Bullet to the Head, Escape Plan, and Grudge Match as James "Bobo" Bonomo, Ray Breslin and Henry "Razor" Sharp (respectively) : He's been in a lot of movies this year, all of them bombs. He might need to slow down a bit. We all know he'll win this award.

Worst Actress

Halle Berry in The Call and Movie 43 as Jordan Turner and Emily (respectively): When is someone going to come out say it. Berry is not a good actress today. Sure, she was good in Boomerang and Jungle Fever, but that was a long time ago.

Selena Gomez in Getaway as The Kid: I know nothing about her other than she banged Justin. I heard she was pretty bad in part.

Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons as Tara : She is better know for suing video game companies and shitty rap stars for her likeness than acting. Suing people is how she makes money now, so I guess she was bad in the role here and didn't get paid much.

Tyler Perry in A Madea Christmas as Madea : There you go

Naomi Watts in Diana and Movie 43 as Princess Diana and Samantha Miller (respectively) :   

You might want to wear a Hazmat suit, fella.  

Justin Bieber arrested (baby baby oh)

Justin Bieber arrested

Christmas came early for me. I’ve gone from not caring about this guy to really hating him. His actions have gone beyond being a douche to being a super douche. He got what he deserved and luckily no one was hurt.

Supposedly, his people blocked off traffic on the streets so that he could drag race. Uh, who gave you the right to block off traffic, Justin? This is what I mean about being a self entitled asshole. Throwing eggs at house and pissing in a mop bucket are things that someone does because they believe they can get away with it. And, I have no doubt nothing big will come of this other than a large fine.  However, this should be a wake up call for his fans and his parents. 

Someone has to take control of him before he really does hurt someone with his reckless behavior. He also needs endure the sharp decline in fame as well, which doesn't seem to be happening fast enough.

And that mug shot, it's like the cop handed him a soft-batch cookie before taking the picture.

I was going to make a Rob Ford joke, but someone beat me to it with this picture.

Side Note: What does this tell you about the state of hip-hop that rappers hang out with Justin like he's the tough shit? What is with all these rappers surrounding him anyway?   

 Why are you waving? 

Xbox One and Machinima: XB1M13

Xbox One and Machinima: XB1M13

From Polygon, ((Microsoft would pay content producers a $3 CPM bonus (an extra $3 per thousand video views) if they posted a video with at least 30 seconds of Xbox One gameplay footage in the first two minutes, and verbally mentioned they were playing on an Xbox One. ))

Microsoft, why are you doing this strange marketing campaign? But, who is to blame for this PR disaster? Microsoft just can't get a break.

Paying people to promote your product is one thing, but the big problem is the non-disclosure of your payment from Mach and MS. You have to put the tag XB1M13 in order to get your 3 bucks and meet your view requirements. Not disclosing you're getting paid for your positive video is actually illegal.

I also have a problem with the term “stealth marketing”. There's free marketing and paid marketing I think MS wanted it both ways.

Here are some of the points to in order to get your 3 whole bucks.

((2. "You may not say anything negative or disparaging about Machinima, Xbox One or any of its Games in your Campaign Video;

3. "You must feature at least thirty seconds (:30) of gameplay/footage of any Xbox One game within the first 2 minutes of Campaign Video

4. "You must verbally mention that you are playing the game shown on the Xbox One console." ))

Here's where it caused all the trouble.

(("You agree to keep confidential at all times all matters relating to this Agreement, including, without limitation, the Promotional Requirements, and the CPM Compensation, listed above." ))

I have to side with most of the people in the discussion. It might be more Machinima's fault than Microsoft's fault. Who put that confidential text into the agreement? This whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. I kept hearing about the bias of Mach when it came to MS, but I never believed it. This might validate some of the conspiracy claims. It just feels like Mach trying to cover its ass so that the network doesn't look bias.  But, they got caught with their pants down.

I am all about getting review copies and demos and promotions. If I get paid from the product maker to review their product I have to come clean with that, because it is the law. I wouldn't take their money anyway because I have to give a honest review.  Anyone that reads this blog knows that.  I get e-mails from companies trying to get ads on my blog (Legally) and I won't do it.  So, something like this XB1 promo thing is too underhanded because of the money and non-disclosure.  

On the MS side, MS has done a lot of damage control recently with the pulling back of DRM shit. And, the XBOX One has sold pretty good, not as much as Sony, but still impressive. So, why are they still trying to do damage control...and failing at it?

By the way, you can do a YT search for XB1M13  tag and watch all the videos with the promo gameplay still up there. What is sickening is some of the YT people are really spamming the XB1M13 videos. And, I can't seem to find that many English speaking videos with the promotion up.  Did they take their videos down?  

Oh, I haven't got to EA yet...