​Michael Wayne Edwards Jr., dude, really?

He seems awfully happy in his mugshot. I wonder why?

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Woman is attacked by stray bottle full of seaman by guy at a grocery store...

Uh, I've heard drive by shootings, but this is crazy.

From True Crime Report ((The mucilaginous attacks began last November when a woman observed a man following her as she strolled through a Michael's craft store in a Washington, D.C. suburb. Soon thereafter, she noticed a gooey substance on her backside. It was later determined to be human semen. ))

Yeah, but he went out and did it again this year. That means he's been doing this for a long time.

((On July 15 police were summoned to a Giant grocery store in Gaithersburg after a woman reported having some kind of foreign substance squirted into her hair. The woman told authorities that she was inside the store shopping when she felt something drip onto her. When she asked the young man behind her in the aisle if he had noticed anything, he acted flip, according to the woman, and "acted like he didn't know what she was talking about."))

First, would you want to be the first police officer on the scene? Or would you want to be the bag-boy that has to mop up the mess?

And, if the story wasn't already strange enough. From True Crime Report ((Using surveillance video and records from the store's bonus card program, investigators soon identified Edwards as the assailant. Footage from security cameras not only showed him squirting the victim with a viscous substance from a hand sanitizer-like bottle; it showed him taking a picture of the assault using his cell phone as well. ))

I mean what exactly is he going to do with the pictures? Place them in a photo album and show them to his mother when she comes over?

Let’s also think about the amount of time and effect this guy has to put into his “entertainment”. First, he has to fill it up enough to get the bottle to “work”. He then has to go to a shopping center and spot the right victim to perform him evil deed. Then, he has to take the picture and get out fast enough. Is the payoff worth the man-hours, ​Michael Wayne Edwards Jr.?

Dude, really? You couldn’t just watch an movie at home like normal people?