I hate Ke$ha...

Don’t you want to touch her junk? I meant her music.
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I hate Ke$ha...

This is not music, sorry. I want to punch myself in the ears to make it stop.

Listen, I hate sounding like a old man Semaj, but I really don't get why she is so popular. Young people seem to really like her music, but I just don't understand the appeal of listen to incoherent jumbled mess. Kesha's shtick is usually stumbling around acting drunk and sounding like she just received a head injury. If I wanted to see that, I just go to some dumb party and watch all the drunks girls stumble around. Because, that's SOOO appealing.

Young women, is this really what you want to be?

Funny enough, I only learned about her name a few weeks ago. A young guy told me about her. “Do you know Kesha?”

“No, who the F' is that?” I asked.

“She was the one that sung on that stupid “You Spin Me Round” remake.” The guy answered.

Then I realized how much I hated that song, despite the fact the entire song is about oral sex. Just listen to the lyrics. Somehow they took an already bad 80s song and turned it into a shittier song. That's no small feat. Under the lens of the 80s, it was a catchy pop song, now it is just bad as a remake.

I have to wonder if Kesha Rose Sebert can actually sing without that damn auto-tune machine? She sounds like a female version of Soundwave from Transformers. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

Music today has devolved into auto-tuned techno beats that don't actually bring much talent to the table. Because we've settled for the quick and easy (Twitter and Reality Shows), we get songs like “Tik Tok”. Shame on you, young people.

I guess some mad scientist took the DNA of Britney Spears and Lady Gaga and combined into a strange Venom like creature called Kesha.

It should be noted that Kesha does have one redeeming quality. She puked into one of Paris Hilton's closets. Yes, you heard that right. From EW, ((Totally separate occasion, but yes, that did happen. They stayed in my house in Nashville when I was 17. Then fast forward six months, I’m out in LA, and I sing background vocals for her second single. And then that night we went to her house and we were all dancing, hanging out. Then I got overexcited and ralphed in her closet. I thought it was a bathroom… and it just so happened not to be a bathroom. It was a closet. ))

I've heard of coming out of the closet, but puking in the closet? That pretty much ended her relationship with Hilton. And, that's the only thing I like about her. Because, I'm sure many people have puked in Hilton's closet (Ha-ha double entendre).

I got the idea of ripping into Kesha because of this funny video review.

Here's a review on Kesha's other monster hit Blah, Blah, Blah.

She needs to be stopped. Let's combined powers and stop her. It's morphing time!