Uh, this is bad...really bad.

Uh, this is bad...really bad.

For once, I am at a loss for words. I honestly don't know what I can say. Nothing witty or mean can stand up to sheer badness of this commercial. The only part I really enjoy is that the two owners shoot their guns at the screen. Why?

This needs more views.

Why end it with a Spaceballs reference?  

"Messing" with the Fedora Guy

Remember the Fedora Guy?

I love when people dig up old memes and give us the origins of memes. Before the “Nods Respectfully Towards” meme, there was Fedora Guy. Jerry Messing is the man behind the super meme. He basically had some extra time and created the photo we all love today. Messing is an actor that has shown up from time to time in movies and TV series, but his biggest and best role is the Fedora Guy.

I am not going to lie. I will prejudge anyone that wears a Fedora in modern times. It just has a lot of negative history to it.

Naturally, the Urban Dictionary explains it much better for us. Fedora Guy, ((It is some malnourished (either super skinny or super fat) guy who thinks he's so cool and smart when in fact he just sounds like a smartass without being so smart because, you know, he just picks up random, deep words from a Latin dictionary or a game or somewhere else. He usually calls other people names like he's some god or something (also, often he does not believe in God and will always try to bash that "truth" in believers' face). He also tends not to ever think he is wrong. ))

Unlike most fedora-wearing ass-wipes, I like Messing aka the real Fedora Guy.

Question:  Are all Fedora Guys white knights?  

Robin Hood 2018 (Part 2 of 2)

Robin Hood:  "If I stand here long enough, someone will mistake me for Batman or Green Arrow.  Right? "

That’s not to say everything about the movie is terrible.  Maid Marian isn’t the woman in distress trope.  She is very active in the rebellion.  However, they later turn her into a lady in distress trope.  Friar Tuck is a different take from the other Tucks.  He behaves like a is backstabbing and working dude for the bad guys, but he is more of spy and undercover rebel.  I also enjoyed the strange industry appearance of Nottingham.  It gives the movie a completely different setting than the other Robin Hood movies.  

This movie wants to be Nolan’s Batman Begins so bad that it hurts.   “Let’s surround the cool archery scenes with some type of story,” Some producer probably said.  Some else replied, “Let’s just paste the Batman Begins script into the movie.”   

The dynamic between John and Robin is that of Bruce Wayne and Alford/Roz al Ghul.  It is supposed to be a teacher/student dynamic, but the movie doesn’t have time for that.  The movie switches to horse riding action scenes straight out of videogames. 

The dynamic between Robin of Loxley and his Hood persona is clearly taken from the Batman Begins rule book.  I could not but be reminded of a better movie than focusing in on this new Robin Hood take.  I just can’t see how you mix the legend of Robin Hood with the aesthetics of superheroes such as Batman.  And, Arrow on the CW has a better grasp on the Batman mythos than this movie.   

Unless it is a TV show on Starz or Showtime, I really can't see the Robin Hood series working on the big screen again.  Plus, we already had an origin story for Robin Hood a few years ago with Russell Crowe.  I think a gritty TV show with fresh stories week to week would work for Robin Hood.  Here, this movie wants to be the next Nolan Batman movie.  It is kind of sad watching this movie fall all over itself.   

The other influence or swipe is from the last Excalibur movie.  Excalibur: Legend of the Sword have a lot of similarities with this movie. Like Excalibur, the movie attempts to really hard to give us a “new and different” take on the legend. Fast edits and videogame action take place in both movies. What if we give Robin Hood or Excalibur becomes an energy drink and film it? Despite the extreme lore, the story is weak. 

The CGI and effects aren’t bad but just a bit overdone given the setting.  It should be noted that the later seasons of GOT had better effects though.  In some ways, the movie also feels retro.  It stems from the way it is shot.  The entire thing seems to be a byproduct (afterbirth) of the early 2000s.   

Just like Batman Begins, this movie believes it will have a sequel.  Given the blandness of the characters and the script, I am surprised they believed they would get another chance to make their version of The Dark Knight (Robin Hood II:  The Dark Hood).  They set up Will Scarlett as the next Sheif and he has a personal stake in finding and killing the Hood.  Way to set up your disfigured Joker-type, movie.   

With the movie trying so hard to be other things, it doesn’t have its own identity.  It is supposed to be the untold story of Robin Hood but is clearly aimed at the neck-beards that want something they can identify with but not anything new or fresh.  There are some interesting things to see such as the outfit of RB or that they kept the Moor character.  There is not enough to give this a passing grade because it is frankly too boring.  After the lukewarm response from the Crowe version, did we need another Robin Hood movie?  After the failure of the newer Excalibur movie, this movie seems like a repeat of that mistake.  The movie overly terrible, but more bland or boring.  This is just a lazy movie.   

Grade: D+ 

 Instead of a shitty Byran Adams Ballard, let's do a Limp Bizkit cover, yo.

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 Ben Mendelsohn on the set kept talking about getting the Dearth Star complete not realizing he was doing a Robin Hood movie instead.  Like the Flop House mentioned in their review, they just dressed him just like his character from Rogue One.  Damn it., you making me want to watch that movie instead.  

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 Too much...like Batman Begins. 

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Do you know how I got these scars?  They wanted me to be the Joker of Robin Hood. 

Tumblr IS the NEW MySpace

Tumblr IS the NEW MySpace

Wow, history repeats itself. I remember MySpace being sold from NewsCorp for mere millions. Now, the same thing is happening to Tumblr. While I don't see the appeal of Tumblr, I now understand that many communities liked the site because of its lax take on porn.

Verizon bought Tumblr for about 1 billion and World Press bought it for somewhere around 3-2 million. Man, way to destroy a brand, Verizon. Because Verizon removed the Porn from the site, no one used it anymore. And, they would ban or remove things that weren't considered porn. It would make Twitch blush. To be fair, Verizon was reacting to the news that child predators were using their site, but V went overboard. Online child predators tend to ruin everything.

Does anyone use Tumblr?

Bouldergate: The one year later video

Bouldergate: The one year later video 

Despite all the drama, I am still subbed at him.  This is just to clarify and reveal where I stand. 

This was one of the biggest self-destructions of a YT channel I have ever seen.  For some reason, Mundane Matt let his ego destroy his YouTube career.  He was willing to leave his real jobs and attempt to do YT full time.  The problem is his mass flagging campaign has made him toxic to be associated with in any way.  While he has more views than Anita these days, that not saying much.  He also lost a great many subs after his reveal to be a heel.  His ego won't let him see the hypocritical nature of his flagging actions given that was the reason behind Zoe Quinn trying to shut up criticism about her.  Post-GG, Matt did nearly the exact same thing.   

To make matters worse, he put his apology on Tumblr, a platform that no one reads or cares about anymore.  After comments and dislikes, he had to make an apology on his channel.  

Part of me feels sorry for him.  He went all into the YT career before the bottom falls out.  He started a family thinking that this YT thing would be long-term.  Matt had a class on YT fame that no one showed up for and work a book about it.  He probably should have shifted to movie news and writing reviews as he worked on his channels.   

Despite the underhanded flagging of his critics, I can identify with the state he's in currently.  I am at the crossroads of my life.  I am going to have to make some tough choices in the coming years.  Do I walk away from a job I have worked for 23 years?  Luckily, I don't have two children and GF/wife to feed.  Because of my health, I know I won't live as long as other people.  Do I want to live my life unhappy working for a company I loathe or do I attempt to do something I enjoy?   

I think he lost sight of being a working-class person and the suicidal streamer video he made proves it.  He keeps talking about the difficult At this point, he needs to walk away from the Internet for about two years and get a real job to understand that hardships of dealing with real people and problems.  Come back and start doing movie reviews on his 3 Buck channel.  At this point, he needs to retire his main channel. Or get a real full-time job and delete your channels and just start over again and do it for fun.   

YouTube, Explain yourself: Why the Pussycat Dolls?

YouTube, Explain yourself

For some reason, YT suggested this Pussycat Dolls song/music video to me. Why? Look, I am not complaining. I like watching the Pussycats bouncing around as much as the next guy. However, this song is nearly ten years old. Why would your program suggest this to me? It just seems odd and strange. The best part is that this MV was released a year before the band broke up. I guess they didn't follow the Spice Girls story and just repeated it over again.

Maybe YT saw that I was watching 90s girl groups and suggested a 2000s group to me for good measure.  I did a search on "That Darn Cat" earlier.  Was that it?  It just seems odd because I haven't thought about the Pussycat Dolls in nearly five years.  

Old man: Get off my lawn or I will hammer your truck

What is with old men and their lawns?  It seems at a certain age; old men are more concerned with people walking or parking in their yards than their health.  If you remember, there was another guy that shot up a bunch of work trucks because they parked near his lawn.  What is not shown in the video is that Old Man Hammer slashed the manger’s tires before becoming MC Hammer.   

I love that the old man says, “Ready” and proceeds to hit the truck.  He then walks right into the wet concrete and tries to continue to walk through it.  You hear his sigh of regret as he walks through it.  I love how the workers just stare at him and don’t even bother helping him out.  

So, what did Old Man Hammer get for his troubles?   

From Omaha.com, ((The citation is for a misdemeanor based on $500 to $1,500 in damage, Jones said. Should the damage to the trucks total more than $5,000, Mailander could be charged with felony.)) 

39-year-old guy slams a kid

We’ve never been more divided than now.  We have assholes like this.  This grown guy did a Tombstone finishing move on a kid that was barely a teenager.  He did because the kid didn’t take off his hat.  Uh, he is a kid, He slammed him so hard that he busted up his skull.  I’ve been going after the left a lot, but this is clearly some asshat neo-con angry and wanting to take it out on someone even if it was a 13-year-old.   

Brockway appears to be a mentally ill person with a history of threatening people.  

The craziest part is that his defense team is using the Trump defense.  Wait, what?  From Heavy.com, ((“His commander in chief is telling people that if they kneel, they should be fired, or if they burn a flag, they should be punished,” Jasper told the newspaper. “He certainly didn’t understand it was a crime.”)) 

Congrats, that literally means nothing.  That doesn’t mean he has the right to slam a damn child.