Crank: High Voltage

Crank: High Voltage

What in the hell did I just watch? Great, the movie literally flipped me off at the end. Was the movie trying to tell people that paid to see it to f’off?

Again, Jason Statham drives fast and kills people.

Crank 2 is a louder and cartoon-er than its predecessor. In some ways, the more ‘balls to the wall’ approach to the material makes some scenes fun to watch. Mostly, the film is frantic and messy. So, you might just shrug and wonder if the movie is worth it. And it is mostly not.

I am aware this is a movie for the post-MTV and X-Box Generation crowd, but at least make the movie somewhat cohesive. It takes the basic concept of Crank 1 and turns it up to number 11. Just because it is louder and bigger doesn’t maker it better. Look no further than Transformers II.

They handled Jason Statham ‘resurrection’ very well I thought. Given this is a cartoon/videogame world, Chev Chelios’ (Statham) new life is just like the gamer pressing continue. I thought the way they brought him back and the overall story involving a certain body part was an interesting concept to drive the plot along. It is just a shame the directors could make the movie feel like a movie instead of Michael Bay-lite videogame.

Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor screwed the pooch with the story. Instead, we get loopy out of context scenes that don’t fit with the time running out storyline. Case in point, Statham and an Asian gangster morph into Godzilla like monsters and fight in slow motion. Does this further the compelling plot? Nope, but the two directors want to force it down our throats. That’s what makes Crank 2 so frustrating. Naveldine and Taylor are trapped in this music video mindset when they have a rather interesting concept on their hands. They can’t get past the boobs and breaking the rules mentality.

Statham is looking for his heart for crap’s sake. I know your audience is made up of man-children that spend all hours on X-Box live with short attention spans, but you should demand better from them.

Statham is fine playing the same character he’s been playing since the first Transporter. Hell, it is same character as his Death Race character. They even make a Transporter joke in the movie. Amy Smart is even sexier in this one.

However, who’s idea was it to bring the terrible Ling Bai into the mix? She was just horrible. It would have been better for everyone if Statham played against mop with a wig. You know, it probably was a stick with a wig on, knowing how skinny Bai is.

Here are a few things that were wasted because of the movie never bothers to follow through.

-David Carradine as a Chinese mob boss. They could have done more with this storyline. It does seem strange that the character Carradine was playing was kind of on the freaky side sexually. We all know what happened to him after this movie.

-Corey Haim: What was the point in having him in the movie? Completely wasted, and I’m not talking about his drug use either.

-John de Lancie: You have freaking Q in the movie and you kind of under-use him.

Crank 2 is a very interesting concept and idea that isn’t fully fleshed out because the directors were too busy thinking up ‘groundbreaking’ camera tricks than telling a fun action story. There are some cool videogame moments, but it doesn’t add to the overall movie, since this is a movie they were filming. It they toned down the goofy stuff, this would have been a pretty good action flick.

Grade: D+