Well, that’s just lovely…

Unless it’s StarFleet, I’m not interested.

Okay, things must be going bad...

Because I sleep a lot during the day, I receive a few phone calls while I’m asleep. One day, while half asleep, I picked up the ringing phone.

“Hello, is this James?” a male voice said on the other end of the line said.

Still hazy, “Yeah, hi.”

“How are you doing, James?” he asked in a stock question mode.

“Sleepy…” I answers, wishing I were still sleep.

He chuckled.

“Are you in school?” he asked.

Well, that was random. “Yeah, I’m in school,” I answered. This was when I began to lose it and fall back to sleep, barely hanging on. He started talking about career opportunities and shit about my future. None of it made much sense in my jumbled sleepy hazed mind. That was until one word woke me up real quick. Army…

“Well, I’m from the Army Recruiting Center, and I’d like to talk you about joining up,” he said.

My eyes widened, as I sat up on my bed. “I’m not interested.”

There was a long pause before he spoke again, as if a brick hit him in his head. “Are you certain, James? We can pay for your schooling and you can earn credits while you serve.”

And, get killed while I’m at it. “Nope, not interested.”

Sounding defeated, he asked one last question, “Do you have any friends that would be interested in joining?”

“Nope, sorry,” I said. Right, I would rat my friends out to you.

Note: This is the third time they’ve called me.”

I'm not a team player and the very thought of dying doesn't appeal to me. I would make a terrible soldier.