Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door
Oh, boy this is a bad, bad movie. Rob Cohen again brings his shitty game to this movie. Has he ever made a good movie? It stars J-Lo and her booty. It is part thriller and part horror (bad horror at that). Basically, J-Lo falls in love with the boy next door, bangs him and then regrets it. The Next Door Boy becomes a stalker and starts doing crazy things.
Think of this movie as a part That's My Boy (but funnier) and part J-Lo movie. None of it works. You know you're in trouble when the movie opens on a poorly conceived montage while J-Lo is jogging just to give us back story into the family. I was utterly confused and then amused because it poorly acted and edited.
The dialogue between J-Lo and her family is laughable at best.
When the “boy” shows up, the movie only gets worst from there. Ryan Guzman is NOT 17 years old as the movie tries to tell you. He looks more like 25 years old than 17. And, it not convincing in any way. Guzman is downright terrible as the stalker type and he seems to come from the school of Twilight acting. If you're into man ass, this movie is for you because you will see Guzman's ass a lot and his body.
Jennifer Lopez also seems to have gotten worst in the acting department too. She isn't very convincing as teacher or a mother. She screams and screeches, but not much else. Lopez is stunningly pretty and she's 46 years old. Rob Cohen seems to like J-Lo's booty because the camera trains on it all the time.
I know that she's made a lot of mundane movies, but this movie might be the worst of the bunch. The climax turns into a bit of a shitty horror movie, but it isn't compelling. In the end, due to the low budget, the movie turned out to be a hit for Cohen.
This movie looks cheap. The script is really bad and the editing is just plain stupid. Only watch this movie if you want a good laugh. It only works as an unintended comedy.
Grade: F+


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