The Boy Next
Door
Oh, boy this is
a bad, bad movie. Rob Cohen again brings his shitty game to this
movie. Has he ever made a good movie? It stars J-Lo and her booty.
It is part thriller and part horror (bad horror at that). Basically,
J-Lo falls in love with the boy next door, bangs him and then regrets
it. The Next Door Boy becomes a stalker and starts doing crazy
things.
Think of this
movie as a part That's My Boy (but funnier) and part J-Lo movie.
None of it works. You know you're in trouble when the movie opens on
a poorly conceived montage while J-Lo is jogging just to give us back
story into the family. I was utterly confused and then amused
because it poorly acted and edited.
The dialogue
between J-Lo and her family is laughable at best.
When the “boy”
shows up, the movie only gets worst from there. Ryan
Guzman is NOT 17 years old as the movie tries to tell you. He
looks more like 25 years old than 17. And, it not convincing in any
way. Guzman is downright terrible as the stalker type and he seems
to come from the school of Twilight acting. If you're into man ass,
this movie is for you because you will see Guzman's ass a lot and his
body.
Jennifer
Lopez also seems to have gotten worst in the acting department
too. She isn't very convincing as teacher or a mother. She screams
and screeches, but not much else. Lopez is stunningly pretty and
she's 46 years old. Rob
Cohen seems to like J-Lo's booty because the camera trains on it
all the time.
I know that
she's made a lot of mundane movies, but this movie might be the worst
of the bunch. The climax turns into a bit of a shitty horror movie,
but it isn't compelling. In the end, due to the low budget, the
movie turned out to be a hit for Cohen.
This movie looks
cheap. The script is really bad and the editing is just plain
stupid. Only watch this movie if you want a good laugh. It only
works as an unintended comedy.
Grade: F+
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