Guest Blogger Time: L. Ron Hemingway (Nick)

Guest Blogger Time!  A fellow writer and friend named Nick decided to guest blog on my crazy blog.  As he was reading the crazy ramblings of madman in the form of L Ron Hubbard’s book.  He decided to write a parody post in the same manner as Mr. Hubbard and his twisted belief system.  It is funny how he pretty sums up Hubbard’s life in this parody.  You have to know some of the strange factors of Dianetics.  (IE every mother wants a abortion)

So, below is his full guest post and enjoy. 

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L. Ron Hemingway was a science fiction writer in the time between the two World Wars. He typically drew on his experience being in the first World War and also from his time fighting aliens in space. After his literary career he went on to create his own religion before tragically committing suicide. This is an excerpt from his piece, "WW1, OT3"

There were five of us that night. The bombs flickered lights onto the trees and the low hanging clouds. Dirt clods and shrapnel flew to and fro. Vicente screamed, "Ahh! It's in me and I can't get it out!!" He was grabbing his leg. He had been hit.

I ran to him, bracing his leg on either side so as to clamp it and said, "could you please remain calm Vicente?"

"Ahh! It's in me and I can't get it out!!" he screamed again.

I said, "That's good Vicente. Could you continue repeating that phrase?" Through us of the repetition technique my suspicions were confirmed. Vicente was harboring a prenatal engram. It was dramatizing itself. His screaming was a result of recalling his mother screaming about her unborn Vicente, "Ahh! It's inside me and I can't get it out!" The real kicker, though, is that through Returning, we discovered she had attempted a coat hanger abortion while Vicente was still in the womb. And, naturally, pierced his fetus through the leg. We audited this engram until his pain subsided and Vicente bled to death knowing that he was, miraculously, Cleared.