Courtney Stodden: Reality

Courtney Stodden:  Reality

Talentless doesn't even begin to explain the sheer shit-brick that is Courtney Stodden.   She represents everything that is wrong with fame today.  She is only famous for marrying the dude from Lost and The Green Mile.  With her fake over-sized boobs and dreadful singing, she is the mutant lovechild of Paris and Kim K.  Because she is banging a guy that produces music, she thinks she can perform music.  Don’t buy this song. 

Her latest song is not only offensive to hear, but to common society in general.  Congress should drum up a measure to ban this song and only this song from the country or the world.  Honestly, the music in this song “Reality” causes me great harm.  I actually have to turn it off after 30 seconds before I can listen again.  It is really that bad.  I am honestly grimacing as I watch this trite over and over again for review. 

This might be the worst song I've heard ever. 

The poor electronic sound is so bad that is might be worse than the robotic ramblings of Courtney Stodden.  Again, like As Your Friend, the electronic beat just sounds like something a computer farted out of its USB port as byproduct.  There is a moment when a counter-beat shows up and sounds like a Commodore 16 videogame. 

Cournty Stodden’s voice is so distorted by the auto tune that it sounds like EDI from Mass Effect.  There is nothing real in this song, not even Stodden’s voice.  At a certain point, her voice goes up a pitch and it somehow makes the song harder to listen to. 

The song is fluff and not good fluff.  This is just a marketing tool to try to make Courtney Stodden into a star.  Yet, what she doesn't realize is that you have to have talent.  And, this song proves that she doesn't any.  It is overproduced music that you can’t even dance to because of the strange distortions. 

I hate this turd…I am talking about the song, but I can see why you would get confused. 

Here’s the best part, her YouTube channel has disabled the like/dislike button.  Gee, I wonder why? 

The Nerd isn't the only thing fake in this video...

Notes

-Lamest rooftop party ever:  Really?  You could only get a handful of hipsters to fill out the “party”.  Also, it looks like it’s going to rain.  You might want to bring that “party” inside. 

-A Nerd in name only (NINO):  I love that the party slut picks the good-looking nerd and grinds on him, rubbing him like a magic lamp.  He’s no nerd.  Nerds have intense body odor and even scare away the sluttiest of sluts.  I’m calling bullshit.

-Great Green Screen…not. 

-Note the people walking into the shots where Courtney is being paraded through the street.  Some people are minding their own business (one guy is putting money in the meter).  Except for one dude that walks up to the shot and gawks at Courtney.  It’s kind of funny.

-Watch as she dry humps the “nerd”:  Does she want his WOW account info? 

Grade: F-