Random Things

I hated this movie, but it is not her worst film ever.

Random Things

~I kind of like the news that Guy Richie’s Marriage is on the rocks. However, it appears he is trying to save his marriage. I personally think he's become a worst director since marrying Madonna. Why in the hell would you have Madonna as the star of your next film, aka Swept Away? Madonna has proven she can't act. But somehow Guy thinks that being his wife makes him capable of getting a good performance out of her. It didn't work.

Guy Richie, let her go.

~Baywatch Nights: Just for kicks, here is the intro to the opening to that Baywatch spinoff. I heard originally the show wasn't even supposed to be a spinoff of Baywatch, but this new show needed a boost so they made it a part of the Baywatch universe. With the ratings going into the crapper, they decided to make the show more like the X-files adding vampires and monsters to the storylines in the second season. WTF? I didn’t think there were vampires in the regular Baywatch show.

~Amy Fisher walks off Howard Stern's shows: Come on, Amy Fisher, you came on the show to promote your own ‘stolen’ sex tape. But, she promptly leaves when a caller confronts her about shooting that woman in the face. Are we supposed to forget about that?

Wanted (2008) Part 2 of 2

Why is the Tomb Raider chick staring at me?

Wanted

The Acting

What really stands out about this movie compared to other action movies is the acting. While there are some acting screw-ups, the cast is very sound.

But, Morgan Freeman is the best thing about this movie. He just brings a fatherly presence to his role. He makes otherwise impossible dialogue work on the screen. At one point, he shows the main character the method in which this society of assassins receives their targets. On paper, this would seem absurd, but with Freeman it is believable.

James McAvoy ranges from being good to fair. And Angelina Jolie’s acting is enjoyable to watch, but she’s too skinny to be believable as a kick-ass assassin.

Terence Stamp is in this movie and I kept thinking about his other role in Get Smart (2008) whenever he appeared on screen. When he left a scene, I kept thinking, Stamp: “Well, see ya, I have to go shoot scenes for Get Smart.”

What didn’t work…

The voiceover work is horrendous. James McAvoy seems like he’s trying to channel Tobey Maguire from Spider-Man. Moreover, the voiceover writing is so bad that it nearly takes you out of the movie. You don’t open the movie up on some lame dialogue.

The other main problem is the lull between the action/training scenes. There is a point in the movie where it gets rather boring and it stands out from the rest of the film. Some shots are bit too fake for me, but there are only a few. For the most part, the FX really works.

In the end…

I can’t say this movie is for everyone, but if you liked Fight Club or the first two Matrix films, then this comic book movie is for you. Sure the action and stunts are unbelievable in our world, but in this world it works.

Grade: B

William Shatner Strikes Back

William Shatner being a total a-hole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfDHIqmUUMs&feature=related

William Shatner does a recording for some spot and the director makes some suggestions on his delivery. It goes all down hill from there.

You can hear Shatner laugh and you can tell he’s fuming.

You have to hear this, because he makes fun of director during the recording. Then, this director passive aggressively tries to worm out of it. The director almost cries toward the end. What a wimp. It’s only Captain Kirk.

I can only imagine the hell Shatner’s co-workers had to go through while working with him.

Classic Shatner…

(Btw, this is sort of a strange sequel to the ‘Sabotage’ outtake he did years earlier.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlOTRxt-dIw&feature=related

King of all Dorks

King of all Dorks (A douche bag guy reveals a bit too much about how creepy he really is.)

Listen to the message above within the link. This guy goes from being just an asshole to a little creepy. The second message has him threatening to cut her off for good. (She doesn't know what she's missing.)

Dmitri just doesn't get it. Someone in his 'circle' needs to tell him that he's a dork.

As some in the comment section stated this might be a fake message, and it is too good to be true.

I'm not sure.

Btw, why did this women even give out her real number. When you don't like a guy, aren't you supposed to give him a fake number?

Wanted (2008) Part 1 of 2

Wanted (2008) Part 1 of 2

Part Matrix and part Jumper; Wanted is an entertaining movie with very cool action scenes. Just let go of the notion of the laws of physics and logic and you’ll enjoy yourself.

Wanted is about a hapless guy named Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) who lives a rather shitty life. His girlfriend is cheating on him with his best friend, and his boss is giving him a lot grief. After an encounter with Angelina Jolie, he discovers he has certain abilities that to he didn’t know he had. Now, a group of assassins, The Fraternity, want him to join their organization.

Like the Matrix before it, Wanted is a stylized comic movie that works more than it fails, but the flaws are very apparent. This movie, based loosely on a comic book series by Mark Miller, is full of huge action set pieces that are truly amazing to watch on the big screen. Cars and trains go flying into the air that even the Wachowski brother would be jealous. It is also an intensely violent film that children should not be allowed to watch.

Luckily for the moviegoers, director Timur Bekmambetov keeps the camera steady enough let the audience take in the complex and engaging action scenes. The CGI and practical special effects work seamlessly together.

This is a comic book movie, so keep that in mind.

The movie score by Danny Elfman is a bit restrained, but serves its purpose. I will give Elfman credit for not laying on the guitar and drumbeats as much as probably some people would have liked.

End of part 1

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She's looking for another person to adopt.
______________________________________________

Tomb Raider lady is a bit too skinny in this movie, and every time I saw a profile of her on screen her skinny frame took me out of the movie. Especially when you remember her more rounded and sexier shape in Pushing Tin, Foxfire, and Gia.
_______________________________________________

Matrix anyone? Yeah, this shot is too much like that other series, but hey I can forgive it for that.

Random Bunch

To some, this is a bed. (that includes me)

Random Bunch

~As I have stated before, I go on a lot of long walks through the city. At one point last week, I got tired and fell asleep on a public bench for about thirty minutes. And surprisingly, it wasn't a bad nap in a public place. Sure, I looked like a bum, but still it was a good sleep.

~The Brothers of Solomon: I heard this movie was really bad, but these clips are really bad.

Return the kid: This is bad.

Hey, it has a 16% on Rotten Tomatoes.

~The Angry Videogame Nerd takes on Superman videogames: Is there any Superman videogames that don't suck ass. Yes, he will discuss Superman 64 in another video.

~Escape from Bug Island?: This is really a game for Wii? Than I came to find out that it was a real game. The game does look like a slightly upgraded Gamecube game.

~Remember that Disaster Movie, well there is a trailer: Be scared. In the trailer we see them spoofing Iron Man, the Hulk, Juno, Enchanted, Hancock (WTF?), Sex in the City, You Don't Mess with the Zohan.

~I think I'll check out Wanted today.

Math Fail

Okay, I found this on the failblog and I laughed. I have to admit I've answered questions like this in a goofy manner all the time. I usually get a “ha-ha”

This Peter guy has the same sense of humor.

When Dane Cook fans attack...

When Dane Cook fans attack...

Last night, I received an Anonymous comment in my George Carlin post. Of course this commenter decided to leave a comment defending Dane Cook. Hell, he even called me a name.

Here's what the D-bag had to say

Anonymous said...

Dane Cook built his fan base the exact way Carlin did you dolt. Its a new time and certainly not the world Carlin grew up in but dont fault DC for that. He is making people laugh with deep thoughts and ideas like GC.

Vx

This was a refreshing comment. I'm not sure why he needed to take the time out to defend his beloved Dane Cook.

Well, of course I responded to the comment.

Semaj said...

Hold on, so you're saying Myspace was around during George's early days? How was that possible? I believe that was one of the ways Mr. Cook boosted his fanbase. Then, again I'm no Dane Cook expert.

I'm sorry, Anon, but Dane Cook sucks ass. I guess you haven't seen some of his movies.

He was able to 'jump the shark' in a matter of years unlike many of his peers.

Btw, I don't take kindly to people calling me a dolt. I prefer being called asshole, stupid, idiot or bonehead.

I decided to do a little digging into Mr. Vx and discovered he was doing some searching on Dane Cook and I guess he had issues with people making fun of Mr. Cook.

I discovered that the same Vx left a comment on this guy's blog too!

Here's another attack by another comment guy on MC's post.

Meet Dave's head

What in all that is sane is this?

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/06/25/caption-this-the-norbit-horse/

What kind of promotion is this? Why would someone think driving around with an oversized head in the back would be a positive promotion? I’m not sure how this oversized head will help promote awareness of Eddie’s new movie Meet Dave.

Now, I’m hearing that you can go inside he head too. Btw, you know that someone is going to deface this head.

http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur44515.cfm

I guess the joke is on us, because Eddie Murphy still makes shitty movies and people still go out to see them.

Check out this trailer

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IowORgSlhRc

Look for Eddie in Beverly Hills Cop 4 too.

Why?

Get Smart

You will believe a man can talk into his shoe.

Get Smart (2008)

First thing is first; I loved the old show that this movie is based on. And, I knew going into this movie that I would likely not enjoy the new Get Smart. For many years, producers have tried to bring this show back in some way or another with terrible results. (Anyone remember the remake series from 1995 with Andy Dick?)

Well, I can’t say I really liked the movie that much, but it did make me laugh in a few places. It’s not a bad film.

Steve Carell doesn’t try to do a bad impression of the Don Adams character. It’s a completely different version of the character. And, I didn’t have a problem with that either. Carell fills in the role fairly well. Actually, all the actors were good. The Rock is freaking great in the movie and steals the show.

The problem is most of the jokes weren’t funny and not fully realized. It feels like they played it too safe in order to appeal to a mass audience. They needed to beef-up the script with another re-write. And, that’s the biggest fault and I have with the movie, the script was really lame.

Anyway, Get Smart is a reasonably funny movie that had to potential to be very funny and enjoyable, but comes across too tame for its own good.

Pros: It respects the original series and has a few funny callbacks to the old show. The Rock is charming and funny and Anne Hathaway is sexy as hell. The opening credits with Steve Carell walking through the multiple doors with the Get Smart theme was a nice callback.

Cons: The movie didn’t go for the bigger laughs and felt like a safe comedy. The script was unfinished. The editing is a little off at the beginning. One edit jumps from one day to another without any transition.

Grade: C-

“Missed it by that much.”

George Carlin

George Carlin RIP

George Carlin was certainly the guy I’m probably the most similar to for the simple reason I am just as cynical as he was. He would go off on these rants like it was no body’s business. So, I respected that about him. He spoke his mind, had something meaningful to say and made people laugh. If you can educate and entertain at the same time, then that’s half the battle.

That’s something some of these new comedians need to learn. It’s not about the product, but about bringing something important to our collective pop culture…something that will out live you. (People like Dane Cook need to know this.)

While I didn’t agree with some of his anti-society jokes and statements, he always had a convincing reason for every statement he’d make.

Hey, the guy was Mr. Conductor on Shining Time Station.

I will say this; I only wish I can live as long as he did and accomplish so much. The man died at 71. My claim to fame was working at a damn Kroger for a few years.

Anyway, read some of my peers' posts about George. They've done a better job conveying my feelings than I have.

The Samurai Frog

Mayren

The MC

No Love for The Love Guru

Get Smart beats the living crap out of The Love Guru

I saw Get Smart, and it wasn't a good movie by any stretch, but it wasn't insanely terrible either. And, the rotten tomatoes score for Get Smart and The Love Guru pretty show you which movie was reviewed better. (Actually, the Love Guru received a rating of 16 % and it only made 14 million.)

Just like Adam Sandler, Mike Myers needs to grow out of the stuff that made him so famous in the 90s. Just like the Clintons, the 90s are over it's time for a change, Mike.

I have to wonder if the studio knew that they had a stinker on their hands, because they marketed the hell out of this thing. There were a few really bad viral marketing projects. But, did they really need to spend 60 million dollars on this movie?

Make sure to check out Harry Knowles' review of the movie: I generally disagree with 75% of what Harry says most of the time, but he has me laughing with this review.

First Showing has a story up about the downward spiral of Myers: This guy sums up everything that's wrong with the movie and Mr. Myers. It's a good read.

Xenu vs. Carolla

Is Oprah really Xenu?

Adam Carolla takes on Scientology back in the Loveline days.

I was going through the Adam Carolla message board and came across the recording above.

I loved this rant of Adam bashing Scientology. I find this funny, because Dr. Drew, Adam's old partner, took a stance against Scientology and Tom Cruise. But, I guess Drew received too much heat from the Church and backed off.

Come on, Dr. Drew, they called you a Nazi. They believe your profession is a giant scam, and you backed off. Take a cue from your friend Adam and tell them to “F' off”.

Hail, Xenu

Semi-Pro (Un-rated version)

Semi-Pro (Un-rated version)

Jackie Moon (Will Ferrell) is the owner/coach/player of the ABA team the Tropics and he discovers that the ABA will go out of business at the end of the season. This also means his team will disappear, if Jackie doesn’t do something about it.

That’s the central plot of the movie, but there’s so many random jokes and subplots thrown into the mix that the main plot almost becomes buried in the goofiness. Semi-Pro is Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and Anchorman on acid and mushrooms.

There are so many jokes and subplots jammed inside that almost none of them really pay off in the end.

The movie is full of funny people, but most of them never stand out as being compelling, with the exception of André Benjamin (Outkast), who isn’t a comedian. But, he handles himself fairly well as the straight man.

I just didn’t find much in the movie that really worked and I really wanted to like this movie too. Will Ferrell still hasn’t “jumped the shark” like Adam Sandler, but that shark is getting close. The movie isn’t a total bust and there are a few funny moments and female nudity in there.

Grade: C-

Joan Rivers is F'ing sorry

Here is Joan Rivers in the movie Star Trek Insurrection

At this point, I've started hating Joan Rivers. She's one of those people that needs to retire and disappear. I don't know who she's fooling with her multiple surgeries. Her face is so deformed that it's not even funny anymore But, for some reason she's been in the news again and I sort of like it too.

On British TV, Joan dropped an F and S bomb on live TV.

Here's her cussing outburst on the show Loose Women. You have to love the reaction from the women on the show.

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder trailers

Ah, yes another trailer for Starship Troopers 3 (Japanese version)

Here's the American trailer

Both trailers are pretty bad, though the Japanese version gives away too much at the end, and the FX shots are terrible. This will be atrocious.

I also didn't know that Jolene Blalock stars in the movie too. Looking at her IMDB page, I can tell she hasn't been too busy of late, other than showing up in magazine shoots. When your co-star is
Casper Van Dien, you know you've hit rock bottom. But, they're still centering the promotional stuff around her.

I will say this, I like the WWII outfits though.

Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling

Okay, I am really starting to hate Hulk Hogan even more now. If the way he’s handled all the current media attention wasn’t enough, now they’re giving him another show.

http://www.efluxmedia.com/news_Cast_of_Hogans_Celebrity_Wrestling_Revealed_18685.html

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b141456_bonaduce_screech_rodman_ready_smackdown.html

It feels like someone in Hollywood really hates me. They’re giving Hulk Hogan another reality show? What about all the bad press he’s received over the past few weeks?

But, that’s not the worst of it. It’s what the show is about that has me extremely apprehensive.

The show is called Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling.

I take it that some has-been stars will go to the ring and train as wrestlers. This is like Dancing with the Stars, but worst.

Who are some of the Has-beens showing up on the show? Read on

David Arquette: I guess being married to Courteney Cox just isn’t enough for him. I believe he already made a damn movie about becoming a wrestler (Ready to Rumble) and did a running story about it on WCW. Does he really need to be a part of this show?

Dustin Diamond: Screech will take any shitty project just as long they pay him. Isn’t there a limit as to how many reality shows you can do within a year?

Danny Bonaduce: The short-redheaded media whore himself will grace his presence on the show. While he receives points for flipping that douche bag, he still comes across as annoying.

Todd Bridges: “Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum…” Look, he’s not that busy at the moment. He’s still waiting to record the Different Strokes DVD commentary. Cut Willis some slack.

Frank Stallone: It is that no talented brother of Sly. I have to say that he’s probably the one person with the least amount of talent in the bunch. And, that’s saying a lot when you throw in Screech.

Dennis Rodman: Have we time warped back to 90’s when people thought Rodman was the shit? Remember, this guy had a book, two TV shows and a movie out during that time. Where’s Desmond at because the entire planet just leaped backwards, brotha?

Tiffany: The singer? I thought she was sucked into a wormhole or something.

Man, this going to go up in flames like all those Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grills.

I can't believe I used to like Hulk Hogan. Hell, I watched his movie and cartoon show.

Be Kind Rewind

Be Kind Rewind

On the surface, Be Kind Rewind is just a comedy. But, as the story progresses, it becomes so much more. It becomes a heart-warming drama about community and that shared history that community has. And that’s what is so enjoyable about this movie; it is two movies in one.

A rundown video store, that only carries videotapes, is in danger of being closed by the city. The city wants to move the people out and make way for Urban renewal. When the owner (Danny Glover) leaves to find a way to save his store, he puts Mos Def in charge of the store. In a strange turn of events, Jack Black’s body becomes magnetic and erases all the tapes in the store. Now, they take it upon themselves to recreate the videos using homemade methods.

The way they go about making these videos is charming and funny. You can see that these two characters love the films they’re creating, but just don’t have the skill level to make it the correct way. This portion of the movie is enjoyable and completely fun. It’s like seeing a bunch of Youtube people reproducing their favorite films. We grew up with these films, so we feel like they’re our own movies. And, I think that’s what writer and director Michel Gondry is trying to convey.

On the other end of the story, the movie is about the legend behind the Jazz player Fats Waller and the history he shared in the community this movie takes place in. The extension of the shared ownership of our favorite movies is connected to the shared history many communities have together. Both these movie themes converge into a touching 20-minute ending scene.

I enjoyed both themes in the movie, while I probably enjoyed the reproducing movies storyline better. Jack Black is simply playing himself in the movie, and that’s fine. Def is good in his role. Danny Glover is always good. I would have loved to have seen a Lethal Weapon joke though.

If you want a touching little film that celebrates films and community, rent this movie. You won’t be disappointed.

Grade: B+

Note: The magnetic field that Jack Black’s character emits is so powerful that it even disrupts the DVD player you’re watching the movie on. Every time he walks near the screen the movie starts to lose focus and get fuzzy. That’s a nice touch.

I loved the RoboCop bit
________________________________________

Ghostbusters!
This is the funniest part of the film.
___________________________________________

Action!
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Jack Black attempts to sell his Tenacious D remixed tapes.

The Incredible Hulk review (part 3 of 3)

This shot is a direct reference to the TV show.

Overall

There are still many problems with this Hulk movie too, but not nearly as many as the first one. I understand why Marvel wanted to distance itself from the first one, but why start this movie in South America right where Hulk (2003) left off? It gives people ‘not in the know’ the impression that this movie is tied to first one.

That's only a minor thing.

Craig Armstrong is the composer and does an okay job with the music. I won’t say it’s Marvel’s best score, but I give them points for bringing back the old piano theme from the Hulk TV show. That was a nice touch. The score works in the bigger scenes, but doesn't work with the romantic moments. (Spider-Man's romantic theme worked better.)

The movie is fun, but certainly not as compelling as Iron Man and it will bring back memories of the TV show, which this movie more based on than the first film. On the minus side, the movie does feel a little short-sided. On the plus side, there are some kick-ass battles and it is a good chase movie.

Grade: B-

Notes:

~ Robert Downey Jr. does show up as Tony Stark in this one. He sets up that they’re making an Avengers movie. I liked the scene a lot. It ties the two movies together well. This should be done more often in movies.

~The Stan Lee cameo was a little strange.

~As I stated before, with a little editing this movie could have easily been a direct sequel to the first Hulk movie. The writers even admitted that the South America opening is left over when this movie was still a sequel to Hulk (2003).

~ The Brazilian slums were amazing and gave the movie a grander scale.

~Btw, the famous kick in chest to Emil Blonsky is edited completely different in the movie from the trailers and the TV spots.

I’ll have more on this Hulk/Avengers thing.

Heigl wants to leave?

Does Katherine Heigl passive aggressively want to leave the show?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/14/arts/television/14heig.html?ref=arts

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=5071110&page=1

(("I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination," she said in a statement released by her publicist Thursday. "In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials."))

Now, you might think she’s simply doing this so someone else can get a chance to receive the award, but I don’t buy it. This is a public slap in the face to the writers. While I’ve never seen an episode, I bet what she says is true, but why make it so public surrounding the Emmy story?

It just seems like a passive disrespect of the show. I’m fine with actors announcing their contempt for the direction of a show or character, but this feels like Heigl doesn’t want to do TV shows anymore and someone told her to make the story as big as possible by pulling out of the Emmy Awards.

Now, she won’t even talk about it. Sorry, you can’t have it both ways.

Remember, she made some stupid statements about ‘Knocked Up’ too.

Hey, I want to see the follow-up 28 Dresses.

The Incredible Hulk review (part 2 of 3)

The Acting

Now, the acting is where the movie really has its strengths. It was a wise choice to have Edward Norton in the lead role. He doesn’t become an Emo scientist like the last guy in the 2003 version. While there is certainly some missing character development, I still found this Bruce Banner likeable. Norton is great, so check him out. (However, Norton feels the need to money with editing for some reason.)

Liv Tyler simple plays a non-elf version of Arwen, but I didn’t find her that distracting like Jennifer Connelly. As you are already aware, Tim Roth plays the main bad guy in the movie, again he’s part feels a bit limited and not fleshed out. But, at least they didn’t throw in the main villain within the last 10 minutes like Hulk (2003). You get a sense that age is catching up to him, but he still wants to be a fighter.

William Hurt kicks ass playing Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross. I think Hurt is the only one that can follow Sam Elliott in the role. This time around Ross is definitely a more sinister guy. I truly like that this guy uses extreme measures to get his hands on Bruce Banner, and it is these measures end up costing a lot of lives in the process.

The Special Effects

While there are character plot holes in the movie due to 70-80 minutes cut from the movie, this time they didn’t skip out on the special effects. A few shots look fake and cheap, but overall the Hulk CGI model has more realism that the 2003 version didn’t have.

It’s when the major fight between the Abomination and the Hulk when you get to see some amazing shots. The interaction with the environment is good between the two is also a nice touch. Actually, all three major fights are remarkable and brutal. You feel every crunch and crash in this one. As I said before, people are being thrown and killed by the Hulk and the Abomination in the various battles.

Betty Ross still remembers that her real father died blowing an big asteroid, thus saving the world.

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Ross: “Blonsky, I’ve been having these dreams that all this happened before way back in 2003, except I looked a little different. Is that strange?”

Emil Blonsky: “Are you kidding me? I had a dream that I was an Ape on a planet full of apes and something to do with Abraham Lincoln."

The Incredible Hulk review (part 1 of 3)

The Incredible Hulk

It’s better than that depressing 2003 Hulk movie, while it has some pacing flaws toward the middle. It’s what we wanted in a Hulk movie, a green guy busting shit up.

The Story

The story is simple without all the art house/psycho blather in the Ang Lee version. This movie is a total reboot from the first film, and there is only one aspect that they booth share (Lou Ferrigno plays a security guard in both films). Bruce Banner is on the run from military and in hiding in Brazil. The movie quickly turns into a chase movie, which is one of it strengths.

The love story is only partly annoying this time around and the dialogue is good, minus a few lines between the lovers. I do think they should have thinned out the love storyline just a bit more for good measure, but I didn’t find it boring.

You don’t need a compelling story for a big green guy that smashes cars and choppers. Just get him to smash up shit.

I also liked the fact this Hulk ends up killing a lot of people in the movie when he’s busting things up. It gives banner a reason to stop the Hulk from taking over.