Max Payne
What the hell was that?
Loosely based on the videogame series of the same name, this movie is so bad that it makes the other videogame movie Hitman look like a masterpiece. The movie wants to be taken seriously but has so many lame moments that the whole movie comes across as dry and stale.
Dry and stale is also the way to describe Mark Wahlberg’s (and his funky bunch) performance. He walks around the movie with this scowl on his face like he tasted a bad can of beer and hasn’t figured out how to get rid of said taste. It is like he hasn’t even bothered to change from his character in the Planet of the Apes remake. Wahlberg can act, because he proves it in Four Brothers and The Departed. He’s not trying.
Mila Kunis plays some assassin chick that has very little to do with the plot of the movie. While I like Ludacris as a rapper, I found him to be unconvincing as a cop here, especially one that is supposed to be in charge of an investigation. Don’t get me started on Beau Bridges.
Olga Kurylenko sort of gets naked in the movie just like she gets completely naked in the other videogame movie Hitman. She literally takes off her clothes in both movies and tries to seduce both lead characters in Hitman and Max Payne. Both characters turn down her sexual advances. She is almost the same character too. She plays Natasha here and Nika in the other movie.
The movie goes from being an aimless and style-less movie to a strange CGI movie with demons and angels floating around on screen. The reason for this is because there is a drug out there that makes you see flying demons when you take it. I’m not making this up at all.
The CGI elements are really bad and look out of place. Why the hell would you make the movie worst than it already is?
Max Payne is a forgettable movie. It should have never been created and further proves that movies based on videogames suck.
Grade: D-
Behold, Constantine II.
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Marky-Mark: “Come on, are you still mad at me for my performance in The Happening?”
Pissed off Lady: “You were in a scene where you talked to a plotted plant.”
Marky-Mark: “It wasn’t that bad.”
Pissed off Lady: “It was a plastic potted plant.”
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After saving Gotham City, Batman ditched Robin. This is where Robin ended up. Yes, this is Chris O'Donnell. Remember when he was Hollywood’s next biggest thing?
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From Marky-Mark and the Funky Bunch to this movie…I guess this is a step up (?)
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Olga Kurylenko: “Which movie am I in Hitman or Max Payne? I seem to get the script pages mixed up. Then again, no one would be able to tell the difference anyway.”
One of my favourite video game storylines ever - butchered.
ReplyDeleteI liked the Hitman movie better too, mostly because I haven't played any of the games.
Oh, and it didn't feel the need to add flying valkyrie which had pretty much NOTHING to do with either MP game and WHY MUST YOU RUIN EVERYTHING HOLLYWOOD.
... Yeah, I really hate how this movie put some people off playing the games.
Good to see you drop in again, Yvonne.
ReplyDeleteI even read an post where the head producer of the Max Payne videogame series distanced his company from the movie and didn't understand why they made the changes that they did.
Here's hoping a Halo movie fares better.
Have you played either Max Payne game? What do you think of MP3? I mean, at least the movie was set in New York.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I enjoyed your District 9 review. That was very Halo/Half-Life'ish in the last half.
"Pissed off Lady: “You were in a scene where you talked to a plotted plant.”
Off to search YouTube now ... :)
I never played the game, but I had some Vging friends that loved it. Deus Ex came out around the same time and I would get the two games confused sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt is much better to find that clip that to sit through that movie (the Happening). It is in my top worst movies I've watched this year
Max Payne is a movie where one man finds that his wife and his daughter murdered by a hit man..he wants to ruined the life of the murderers. he wants to take revenge..... i enjoyed the movie because the movie is very interesting... I Download Max payne movie last night.....
ReplyDelete