Kazaam-Fu

Nostalgia Critic takes on the revolting Kazaam

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You can watch the video review right here.

This movie is beyond bad. It’s so bad that I can’t turn it off when it comes on TV. Shaquille O'Neal is the leading star, and this was when he thought he could rap. Remember, he released a few rap albums. So, they shoehorned his rapping into the movie.

Here are a couple of things to note.

~This Genie lives in a damn boombox. WTF?

~He lived in lamp, before moving to a boombox, for hundreds of years, but somehow knows how to rap. (well, kinda)

~The FX is terrible. It looks like something out of a bad Vegas show.

So, who was the director of this piece of steaming crap? Paul Michael Glaser, who also wrote the story, directed it. Something tells me he doesn’t list this on résumé. Doing a little digging on his IMDB page, I discovered he was Starsky in the show "Starsky and Hutch". He also had a cameo in the remake movie too.

Looking at his bio, I can tell he’s had a hard life, so I’m not going to beat him up too much for this garbage. (The movie should be hauled away as gar-bage) He’s gone on to direct on some pretty good TV shows, as well as continued his acting career.

So the curse of Kazaam was lifted.

Shaq’s film career wasn’t so lucky. After this living turd of a movie, he starred in the equally dreadful DC comic hero movie Steel. Shaq as a brilliant military scientist, yeah that’s believable. Shaq would disappear from films, and I guess practice on his free-throw shots, and show up in the legendary video game Shaq-Fu.

He would make his acting return in the great, by that I mean horrible, Freddy Got Fingered. Yes, that Freddy Got Fingered. What was his part? Playing himself banging Tom Green’s mother in the film. I guess that’s his thing.

When this movie comes on TV, check out how bad it is.

We Genies!

The annoying kid, Francis Capra, has become a busy actor, showing up on some good shows. Man, he’s grown up and become gangsta (?)

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After his divorce, Shaq just “flip-mode” on their butts by dressing up in his Kazaam outfit every Friday.

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Uh, Kazaam underwear merchandise? From a distance, it looks like a stain. BTW, would you really want an image of Shaq smiling on your underwear?

This is promotional merchandise at its worst.

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Revealed at last! Now we know why he can’t shoot free throws! He's got those yellow thingies coming out of his fingers.