Clone Funny

This news goes under the WTF banner

http://www.darkhorizons.com/news05/050831f.php

Comment: Carey and Stiller team up again for a clone comedy. Yep, yep you heard me right. Just click and read…

Fletcher Lives

Kentucky Governor Fletcher used his God given power of creating pardons to help the people who were indicted in the Hiring practice cases.

http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050830/NEWS0104/508300366

Comment: This guy is giving out pardons like candy. Hey, break the law and get a free pardon. Whatever happened to being held accountable for your actions? Fletcher got elected because he promised to end the corruption left behind by Governor Patton. Yet, we got rid of one crook from another one.

Say what you want about Mr. Bush, he hasn’t done this yet. How can anyone vote for Fletcher now that this has come out? Obviously, by pardoning his underlings, he has focused all the attention toward himself.

Moreover, this has given the Dems fuel to attack him on for months. The only thing I can see going his way is the fact people in this state are idiots, and don’t pay attention to news, unless it’s sport news. I hate Kentucky.

More Scary Movie (Part 4?)

Head for the hills, Scary Movie 4 may also be in the works.

http://www.moviehole.net/news/6178.html

Comment: I’m not looking forward to another Scary Movie, being that the first one was funny and the rest suck, but I just hope they can convince Shannon Elizabeth come back to the franchise. Anyone that knows me is fully aware how much of a crush I have on this woman.

I’ll have her American Pie anytime.

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Ja Rule: “Who is it Mr. President?”

President: “Someone named 50 cent, he wants to kick your punk azz.”
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Have fun, Smoke weed.
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Please someone write a steamy Lesbian scene for these women in Scary Movie 4
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“Hey, You’re Anthony Anderson. I loved you in See Spot Run and Kangaroo Jack.”

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“Did you all smell that fart? It smells like weed, yo,”

DS9 Review part 2

Captain Sisko looks over the battle reports, as the fighters continue to attack only Cardassians vessel. Here’s his plan, Since the Dominion ships are manned by Genetically engineered soldiers, who are breed to follow orders, he only attacks the Cardassian ships, because they are an egotistical group people that don’t like the fact that small fighters are taking pot shots at them.

Sisko knows that the Cardassian pride won’t let them stay in ranks. Once the Cardassian ships break ranks, the entire Federation fleet will run through the open hole in the Dominion fleet, where they will head for the Occupied DS9 station.

I think this is an interesting tactic, because Sisko is using the differences between the combined forces of the Dominion/Cardassian fleet to his advantage. He knows that he’s outnumbered and can’t fight a fleet that big. So, he wants to pull the combined fleet apart.

I’m sure he wouldn’t use this tactic, if the Klingons were by his side. But, without Klingon support, he has to think of another way to get to the station.

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Meanwhile, safely back at the occupied Station (DS9), the Dominion leaders watch the battle unfold. The Cardassians prepare to disarm the Minefield that is blocking the wormhole, preventing the Dominion’s large number of reinforcements from coming through.

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Here is Gul Dukat, the leader of the Cardassian forces, while the Dominion forces are commanded by Weyoun (Not seen in this picture). The female shapeshifter commands them both.

Dukat discuses the battle with his aid Damar. Damar doesn’t trust Major Kira and the others and ask to arrest them all, just in case they try to sabotage the disarming of the mines. Dukat agrees.

Dukat turns his attention to Sisko’s strange tactic.

Here’s the kicker, Dukat is fully aware of the Sisko’s plan.

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Standing with Weyoun, the shapeshifter wants to know what Dukat has in store for Sisko and his fleet.

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Dukat reveals that he will order many of his Cardassian ships to leave their positions and open a hole for Sisko to see. Sisko will run for the hole, and Dukat will order his attack wings to close that hole, trapping Sisko’s smaller fleet inside the bigger Dominion fleet.

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Kira and the others quietly discuss the rumors about whether the Federation fleet was destroyed or not. They agree that the weapons array (which is how the Cardassians will take out the minefield) must be destroyed before the Cardassians complete the modifications.

With Major Kira, The resistance group is taken into custody by Damar, before they can act on their sabotage

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Dukat is so sure his plan will work, that his dream of taking over the galaxy is about to come true. Dukat has always felt that once he finally defeats Sisko, nothing will stop him, not even his Dominion allies. He sees this space battle as a personal war against Sisko.

Dukat orders his Cardassian ships to chase after the fighters, thus opening the fleet lines up for his trap.

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We cut back to the fleet, as the fighters continue to pound hard on the Cardassian ships.

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Just as Captain Sisko predicted, The Cardassian ships begin to pull away from their Dominion allies, chasing after the fighters.

This is Sisko’s chance!
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Garak is a Cardassian that works for Sisko on the Defiant.

His crew notices certain positions of warship, and they believe it’s a trap. Sisko thinks about it and figures it might be a trap. He has no choice in the matter, he must stop the Cardassians from destroying the minefield, and he can’t miss this opportunity. He orders the entire fleet to move in at full speed, weapons firing.

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The Federation fleet roars toward the Dominion fleet, ready to cut through their lines. Look at this shot. It’s really impressive. Never has Star Trek had anything this big on the show.

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How will Sisko and his fleet deal with the potential trap by Dukat?

Will they get to the station in time to stop the minefield from being destroyed?

V for Vendetta Delayed

V for Vendetta Delayed (I wonder Why)

http://www.calendarlive.com/movies/cl-et-vendetta30aug30,0,5377345.story?coll=cl-home-more-channels

Comment: This movie is from a comic book by Alan Moore. I actually like the trailers for this movie, so I might check it out.

However, there has been terrible buzz coming from this film. Alan Moore has stated that he doesn’t want anything to do with this film, and has parted all ties with DC comics, including WB (DC’s Parent company).

((The movie is based on an acclaimed graphic novel — but that book's author has called the screenplay "imbecilic" and wants nothing to do with the film.))

Then there are the London bombings, which also happen in the movie as well to contend with. It would be poor taste to release the film in November. Let’s not forget the replacement of the first star.

Now, WB has stated that the long delay is because of FX work and post-production. This could be a spin by the studio.

The link talks about the fact that this could be another Catwoman for WB, ouch.

BTW, the Wachowski brothers (Matrix) are producing this film with Silver.

Duke of Hazzard

Cool Duke of Hazzard DVD review (Seasons 3&4)

http://chud.com/dvd/3494

http://chud.com/dvd/4162

Comment: Boy did the 80s suck, I still remember watching this show every week. I used to loved this show, now I just think it doesn’t hold up as well.

However, I am still tempted to rent these DVDs

Scream 4?

Scream 4 (Why?)

http://www.moviehole.net/news/6175.html

Comment: Why is there talk of a Scream 4 movie? The last one sucked, actually only the first one was good. Stop trying to bring back dead franchises

Spike movie, maybe (Not Spike Lee)

Angel/Buffy Spin off movie, might be in the works

http://www.moviehole.net/news/6146.html

Comment: The character of Spike from Buffy and Angel appears to be getting his own movie soon. Not a huge Buffy fan (I do watch the show on FX every few months), I always found Spike to be an interesting character.

Periodic table

Behold the Periodic table

I had to memorize this bad boy last Semester. Chemistry was one of the hardest courses I had to take. I ended up with a B. I never worked harder than that semester, however I had a great teacher.

Star Trek DS9, Sacrifice of Angels, Part 1

I figured I could do a visual review of one of DS9’s best episodes, Sacrifice of Angels. SOA was one the first episode that had huge production values. It was last part of six part episode about the evil Dominion taking over the station DS9. Star Fleet is at war with the Dominion. Captain Sisko takes two fleets and goes out to take back his station, but the Klingons refuse to add their forces to the huge fleet, so Sisko sends Commander Worf to convince them to help in this important battle.

Here is what Trekpulse.com says

With Sisko in command of the Defiant, the Federation fleet reaches the Dominion lines standing between it and DS9. On the station, Quark and Ziyal break out Rom, Kira, Jake and Leeta from prison. As Odo joins forces with his former comrades, Rom and Kira hurry to cut off power to the weapons array but are too late.

Sisko tries to convince the fleet top brass that they must take back the space station, because the Cardassians (Dominion allies) figured out a way to deactivate the mines around the wormhole. Sisko’s knows that a large fleet of Dominion ships are waiting to reinforce the fleet already on this side of the Galaxy.

The Admirals agree and Sisko has his fleet, but the Klingons haven’t joined this major battle, so he knows that they could lose to Dominion’s bigger Armanda.

The Federation fleet meets up a bigger fleet of Dominion and Cardassians ships. The two fleets stand face-to-face waiting for the first one to make their move.

I found this shot to be impressive for a TV budget. Thanks to CGI they were able to pull this shot off, very cool shot. David Bell’s music works well here.

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This is a close up view of a Cardassian warship. Sisko’s knows the fleet is made up of both Cardassians and Dominions. He will use this to his advantage.

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Look at how dense the Dominion fleet is. They stay in their positions and wait for the Federation ships to attempt to break through their lines.

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This is where the Federation fighter ships pull up in front of the larger ships, holding their position. This is an interesting tactic, using your smaller ships as the first offensive weapons. Think of these tiny fighters like the X-wings on Star Wars.

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We focus in on Sisko’s ship the Defiant. Sisko begins his battle plan.
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Sisko commands his fighter ships to attack all Cardassians only, ignoring the Dominion ships. The Federation fleet shall hold their position, as the smaller fighter do their jobs.

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The First wave of Fighter ships swoop down on the larger Cardassians vessels. This shot is simply impressive as well. Small fighters have always played bigger parts in Star Wars, and it’s cool to see them in action here.
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The Enemy ships take a great deal of damage from the small, but powerful fighters. Some Cardassians ships are destroyed by the wave after wave of fighter ships. They still don’t move from their Position yet.
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The title of the show comes up as more fighters come down firing on their targets.
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Both fleets stand their ground As more and more Cardassians ships are damaged or destroyed. Who will make the first move?

More reasons to hate gas stations

I went to a gas station around my part of town. I pulled up to the pump and went inside. I stood in a short line for a about a minute. On the right register, an old crusty, (Who had smoked too many cigarettes) lady stood there helping a customer. On the right register, there was a skinny dork/idiot man.

The guy called me up next.

Placing my money on the counter, I said, “I want 6 dollars on pump 15.”

The cashier gave me a perplexed look, and looked down at his computer screen. He slowly opened his mouth, “Are you sure you’re on pump 15?”

At first, I was certain, but I began to doubt myself. Maybe, I was incorrect and I picked the wrong number. I peered out the front window, trying to see the number. Of course, a big-ass company van obscured my view of my car and the pump number. “I think it was 15, I could be wrong.”

This was when the old dirty woman decided to add her stupid two cents. She looked over at her counterpart. “That’s why they have those big white numbers on the side of the pumps.”

I nearly opened my mouth to shot back a smart-ass comment to her old dirty ass. This so-called woman had no business adding her remarks to the subject, yet her cigarette filled brain couldn’t handle not making a smart-ass remark. Because I was more pissed at the man, I didn’t say anything to her.

“I’ll be right back,” the man said, quickly heading for the door.

I watched as he dashed outside, looking around the van. I saw him mouthed the word “shit” as he came back inside. I put two and two together, someone on pump 15 drove off without paying.

“Yeah, you were right, pump 15,” the man said.

“Are you sure?” I said, being sarcastic.

The fool nodded. “Did you see the car that drove off when you pulled up?”

“No,” I said. It wasn’t like I was looking in the first place.

I went back to my car pissed off, cursing all people that work at gas stations. I started to cheer up when I saw that the people before me stole 20 dollars worth of gas. Good for them, I hope they come back to this gas station and steal 40 dollars worth next time.

Again, I hate gas stations.

Funk Drunk

Drunken People are Stupid

I was at a get-together Saturday, somewhere in the South-end of Louisville. I went there with some of my friends. We hung outside on the deck, just chilling. There was a woman there drunk as hell. She latched onto a red plastic cup, as if it was the cup of life.

She came up to me and said, “Hello there, I don’t remember if we met.” She extended her hand.

I reluctantly shook her hand, noticing how tipsy she was. “I was here last week, we’ve met before.”

She pointed her wobbly finger in my direction, her cup sloshing the liquid around. She narrowed her alcohol-hazed eyes at me. “Yeah, you’re the guy doesn’t talk much.”

I nodded. “That’s me.’

I guess she noticed my standoffish approach to our conversion so she said, “Don’t mind me, I’m shit-faced drunk. I get like this.”

“Thanks for the warning,” I remarked.

She left my sight, and I sat down near the table. I struck up a conversation about geek talk, when the same drunk woman from before started to flip out and cussed like a cowboy.

“What the fuck? You gave him a one of those. Why the fuck did you do that? We have a GD child, he should know better. Why didn’t he fucking tell me, shit?” she said, yelling at some guy standing beside her.

Everyone stopped their collective conversations and turned to her as she continued to flip out. The reason because of her flip out was that the guy beside her told her that he gave her boyfriend a painkiller. The boyfriend sat in the house, on the couch, watching MTV…high.

The questions I have are…

Why did the guy even tell her that he gave her boyfriend a painkiller pill?

Why the hell was she flipping out?

Why did she have to make it so public?

Drunk people are funny.

Small Mac

As far as I know, Macs don’t come with cute blondes. I could be wrong. I know that PCs come with its very own Bill Gates Clone…I’d rather take the girl

Funny Mac spoof ad

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2677774

Comment: I heard most of what this guy says isn’t true, but it’s still funny. BTW, i'm a PC guy.

Lame-Azz Rave gets busted.

What’s more dangerous than terrorists? Utah kids…

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2678222

Comment: These cops moved like there was a group of terrorists in the crowd. If you simply watch the last half of the video, you would think that this was set in Iraq. BTW these kids had permits.

Actually, the music was pretty lame and the rave seemed more than a little boring as well. It only got interesting when the cops appeared.

Here’s a new rule

1 If the party, rave, club starts to get boring, just call the cops. It will start to heat up then.

White man with Funk

White Man Can Dance

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2677702

Comment: There is always this misconception that all white people can’t dance, well they’re wrong. This white dude earned his ghetto pass. He dances with a Trombone in his hand too. We got Served.

Pat Robertson Unfiltered

The famous Pat Robertson "Kill him" rant

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2678279

Comment: What the hell is wrong with this guy? Has he lost his mind? Where’s Bob Novak when you need him?

Pat Robertson's "Apology"

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2678373

Comment: He just doesn’t get it, damn fool.

The Karate Kid (review)

The Karate Kid

Certain movies you remember everything about the experience in Movie Theater. You actually remember watching it in the theater as a child. The Karate Kid was one of those movies. I remembered going into the theater with my family, and really enjoying the movie. I remembered when everyone in the theater cheered when Daniel did the Crain kick.

Looking back at the movie now, I was surprised how well the movie holds up. Sure there are some things that date the movie, but what movie doesn’t have those issues. The central theme of the movie is friendship. Watching the movie now as man, I’ve picked up more interesting concepts that were too over my head at the time. However, now I get it, I understand it.

The character I identified with the most was Daniel LaRusso (Daniel-san). He was an outsider just like me. He lived with only one parent, his mother. The relationship with his mother was one of nicest relationships I’ve seen in the 80s. Like any good single mother, she was always there for him, and helped him get back up. He needed this support at home, because he is severely beaten up in the 1^st half of the film.

One of my favorite moments is when the bullies force him down a hill, crashing his bike. In the next scene, you see him throwing his bike in the trash, and he’s had enough. He breaks down and starts to cry, telling his mom he’s ready to go home. There comes a time when we all want to give up, and want to turn our backs on life. The next day, his bike is completely repaired, thanks to Mr. Miyagi.

Mr. Miyagi is a friend, teacher, and father to Daniel. The best scene in the movie period is the one where Miyagi shows him that all the hard work Daniel put into fixing Miyagi’s house pays off. It was a very cool scene.

This movie still holds up well today. What f’ are you waiting for? Rent the DVD now!

Grade A-

What do you do after you catch the fly with chop-sticks?
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Daniel’s girlfriend broke up with him after this movie.

Five years later, Daniel’s girlfriend would find another boyfriend named… McFly

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I could say something dirty about this picture, but I won’t…
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Elisabeth Shue: “Why are you crying?”

Daniel: “Because after this, my career is in the crapper.”

Elisabeth: “Well, there’s always My Cousin Vinny.”

Daniel: “Why do you think I’m crying?”

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Daniel: “Is this where Sanford and Son live?”

Miyagi: “Live next door, aye.”
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This scene is from the 2^nd movie, but was filmed for the first one.

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After the 20^th Night of the Living Dead movie, the director just stopped trying…
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Miyagi: “Daniel-san, you should really get use to doing the wax on, wax off method.”

Daniel: “Why? Is it because you want me to learn a new Karate move?”

Miyagi: “Nope, because after your acting career tanks, you’ll need to learn how to wash cars for a living, chump.”

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Not Daniel-san, just some dork trying be like him.
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“Try my Face to Foot style.”